The Rantings of an Organizationally Starved Spouse

Domestically Disturbed took a turn at this theme of "Who loses stuff, who finds stuff" yesterday...and today, it is my turn.

I am a creature of habit...only out of necessity. I'll readily admit that I have a touch of OCD...where I like things neat and tidy...like I'll push in all the DVDs on a bookshelf at a library so nothing juts out...or stack up the spelling blocks on my daughter's wagon...or line up the kleenex boxes at a grocery store...but...I am a creature of habit because of three concussions I've had, which has effectively turned the memory part of my brain into a swiss cheese.

With a swiss cheese for a brain, I cannot explain why I will always remember where I parked my car every time and yet not remember where I put my glasses, my pager, my shoes, my head, my socks, whatnot just a minute ago. I like being neat so I can find my things every time. To my mind, a mess of any kind is a disorganized state where things are not yet put away and that "clutters" my mind.

My wife is a slob. She trashes her side of our bedroom. She discards whatever isn't needed/used in both her car and my car instead of in a trashcan. She doesn't take time to throw things away which drives me nuts because I can't stand the sight of a mess and I keep my side of our bedroom neat...and my car tidy when she isn't using it regularly.

With that picture of we each live clearly painted in your mind, you can truly appreciate how the ultimate irony comes into play with my wife and I. I cannot remember where I put my keys if I don't put them in the same place over and over, but she expects me to know where her keys are every time she loses them. I cannot find my own ass even with the neon flashing arrows pointing right at it. She cannot find things she needs because there's too much crap all over the place for her to find it.

How do we deal with this? This is where our weaknesses and strengths compliment each other. Because of my OCD, I have an eye for details and I see things that people overlook or they don't "connect the dots". When my wife is unable to figure out the location of what she needs/wants, she comes to me for an answer based on my observation skills. Strangely, I never can find what I am looking for...even inside a fridge...and I have come to rely on my wife.

Why can't I find anything? My mind is too busy dealing with how things aren't in their places and cannot locate whatever I am looking for, even if it is right in front of me. Since she doesn't have OCD, she is able to look past the "disorganized state" and find what I cannot seem to see. You have no idea how often I have heard her say "It was right there, in front of you!"

Her mess drives me nuts...my attempts to keep things straight drives her nuts...and yet, we cannot function without each other.