tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post7683487353557946971..comments2023-12-25T11:56:28.042-07:00Comments on In The Real World Venus vs. Mars: He Said She Said: Parenting the neighborhood kidsShelle-BlokThoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05118555873275829720noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-67747898619964639242010-07-14T12:14:02.313-06:002010-07-14T12:14:02.313-06:00DCHY - I don't think it is anyone responsibili...DCHY - I don't think it is anyone responsibility to feed the neighbor's kids? And daily? WTH is that about? I find that truly ODD! Never would have floated with me.<br /><br />GUCCI GIRL - I totally get that - other's kids do annoy me and I have yet to figure out why? perhaps b/c I think mine are angels? (they so are not) I had a HUGE playdate a couple of weeks ago and one kid went into my pantry (without asking) and dug out food and asked for it - I WAS SHOCKED! Literally, if my kids ever did that - I don't know what I would do - pull their ear or something!tiarastantrumshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03036618235332598079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-84179000877893037702010-07-13T21:39:44.577-06:002010-07-13T21:39:44.577-06:00What Tysdaddy said. And being that we are a team ...What Tysdaddy said. And being that we are a team that's a good thing! One more thing to add however - The neighborhood kids also know that Tysdaddy and Arynsmom have no qualms about talking to a problem child's parents should the need arise. I expect the same from other adults in the neighborhood regarding my children as well!<br /><br />ArynsmomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-80775206998599048392010-07-13T17:37:51.133-06:002010-07-13T17:37:51.133-06:00At my house, my kids have friends over, and they o...At my house, my kids have friends over, and they occasionally spend the night. So in the mornings? If I'm home, and up for it (which is around 100% of the time) then it's pancakes for breakfast. We are known around the neighborhood as THE place for a kickass breakfast!<br /><br />The thing I've always enforced, and the thing all visiting kids learn rather quickly, is that ALL kids in my house live by the same rules. If I expect it of my kid, then I expect it of their friends. As a result, our place is a place of consistency, and peace, for many neighborhood kids. <br /><br />There have been a few that have tried to break me. Do things that simply won't fly. And they are sent packing rather quickly. And the funny thing is that those kids don't stay friends with my kids for very long. <br /><br />Great topic, folks, and excellent responses. So may new faces!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-3505577272194565402010-07-12T16:41:46.588-06:002010-07-12T16:41:46.588-06:00I'm stepping in the middle of a conversation h...I'm stepping in the middle of a conversation here, but I definitely don't think it's okay for people to come over and constantly partake of my food and shelter, for the very fact that I NEED my own space.<br /><br />I won't discipline them either. I mean, I if they are doing something at our house that isn't acceptable then we ask them to go home, there is no second chances.<br /><br />All of that said. Our house is the neighborhood gathering spot. And as much as I fought it, and hate it... I've learned that, like others have said, I always know where my kids are, and that I was fighting a losing battle.<br /><br />FO Sho.<br /><br />So I stuffed my refrigerator with things that are really healthy. Like apples, oranges, and string cheese and drinks like Capri Suns flavored water and little 1/2 size water bottles. <br /><br />Although when my kids go over to other people's houses I ALWAYS warn them with their life, that they do not ASK for any food. If they are hungry, they call me to pick them up to go eat, or they go without, or come home if they are close enough on their bikes or feet.<br /><br />When it comes to lunch, kids are sent home from our house, but I always get my kids saying that their friend wants to eat at our house and is it okay because Mom or Dad isn't home. <br /><br />I'm like many others also who have said that they aren't really kid people. But I have found that when my kids have friends over, I have MORE time for myself... if you know what I mean.<br /><br />Is it a double standard? Sure. But my kids like to be at our house, for some strange reason, and I was sick of it bugging me, so I compromised. They can have snack like foods and I get to have a bit more peace and me time.<br /><br />On the father drinking bit. I don't feel bad FOR him or think that is okay at all. Ever. You chose your life and wife... now man up and pay the piper. Find ways to help solve the problem, not make it worse or escape from responsibility... again I emphasize... EVER.Shelle-BlokThoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05118555873275829720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-66116478354552244552010-07-12T15:39:17.823-06:002010-07-12T15:39:17.823-06:00Scorpriorising - like Gucci Mama siad, I am with y...Scorpriorising - like Gucci Mama siad, I am with you. That's why I thought it is sad that he's drinking to forget. I know from experience (my father) that it won't work.DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-39773419376712641912010-07-12T15:18:45.702-06:002010-07-12T15:18:45.702-06:00@scorpiorising - I agree with you 100%. Perfectly...@scorpiorising - I agree with you 100%. Perfectly stated.Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-11406493092992027532010-07-12T15:15:47.644-06:002010-07-12T15:15:47.644-06:00DCHY- I still think the father's just as much ...DCHY- I still think the father's just as much to blame as the mother. What a cop-out! She won't and I can't? When I was in the position of feeling that my spouse was negatively affecting my kids I told him to shape up or ship out.<br /><br />His drinking is definately not a constructive way of dealing with the situation. <br /><br />I think our society needs to get out of the 'blame mom' mode and start thinking 'parents', as in mom and dad.<br /><br />Just my take on it. :)scorpiorisinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11253436496052614459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-79740739470315405712010-07-12T15:10:09.797-06:002010-07-12T15:10:09.797-06:00@HsN - I'm always accepting nominations! ;)@HsN - I'm always accepting nominations! ;)Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-14775434675626804232010-07-12T14:58:35.308-06:002010-07-12T14:58:35.308-06:00DCHY & GUCCI
Can I nominate DCHY early for tha...DCHY & GUCCI<br />Can I nominate DCHY early for that award?? :Pheelsnstockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15181825688180635545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-73539425907136185382010-07-12T14:50:59.932-06:002010-07-12T14:50:59.932-06:00Hahaha! Me too! But I still have time to identif...Hahaha! Me too! But I still have time to identify douches that need to be bagged. I'm a multitasker.Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-68087086227882490672010-07-12T14:39:54.587-06:002010-07-12T14:39:54.587-06:00LOL! Nah, I am too busy parenting other kids. ;)...LOL! Nah, I am too busy parenting other kids. ;)DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-18043100761647713812010-07-12T14:36:01.901-06:002010-07-12T14:36:01.901-06:00DCHY - There's time, love. You have until the...DCHY - There's time, love. You have until the end of December to douche it up. I will bag the winner the First of January.Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-82543671801933121252010-07-12T14:34:26.469-06:002010-07-12T14:34:26.469-06:00Gucci Mama - then I am totally out of the running ...Gucci Mama - then I am totally out of the running for Douche of the Year award? Man, I had a speech prepared. ;)DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-5605713421102903492010-07-12T14:18:36.156-06:002010-07-12T14:18:36.156-06:00Great topic. We have been down this road. And fo...Great topic. We have been down this road. And for the most part I haven't minded. And as the children get older, and they are teenages... guess whose house they are still at? Yep, ours, which is a good thing. You want your kids and their friends at your own house - it is a wealth of information to be had. lol So for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some carrot sticks when they are small, it is so worthwhile as they are older. <br /><br />My beef is with the working parent who think I want to cart there children to school or a practice. grr (I dont do car pools)Misstyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677390785575744116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-79346423157026708892010-07-12T13:47:39.154-06:002010-07-12T13:47:39.154-06:00It's not my favorite thing in the world to do...It's not my favorite thing in the world to do, for sure, but I try to do what I'd want other parents to do for my children. Even though I know most of them don't.<br /><br />I also like to have the kids here because I know what they're up to then. If the parents of these other kids haven't bothered to teach them manners or respect for people and property, I don't want my children in that environment picking up those bad habits. Better the devil you know, I guess. <br /><br />It can be difficult not to punish the kids for the parents behavior - i.e. sending them home when it's mealtime or whathaveyou, but it isn't their fault their parents are competing for the Douche of the Year award. I try to keep that in mind.Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-45628613356789990182010-07-12T13:40:54.135-06:002010-07-12T13:40:54.135-06:00I loved reading both points of views and actually ...I loved reading both points of views and actually agreed with both of them. As for me because I have only one child it was difficult entertaining him all the time so it was easier for me to have neighborhood kids at our house. It was a way for me to get to know them, their parents and values, and the kids knew what my rules were and they were pretty good at observing them. The kids that didn't like them stopped showing up- it was a great filtering process. <br /><br />And I didn't mind feeding the kids when they were at my house. I loved it, but I did get irritated when my son would be at a parents house and he wasn't fed especially when the parent asked if my son to be at their house all day. I don't get those type of parents, it's okay for me to feed your kid, but not okay for you to feed mine. Oh, well, I still fed the kids who were at my house anyway.H.K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10555156176113515138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-24253246527154029922010-07-12T13:36:00.416-06:002010-07-12T13:36:00.416-06:00Nitebyrd - thank you for your support. :)Nitebyrd - thank you for your support. :)DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-76928711057548818822010-07-12T13:32:40.516-06:002010-07-12T13:32:40.516-06:00DCHY, I don't think you did any damage. Parent...DCHY, I don't think you did any damage. Parents are supposed to take responsibility for their own children. What is supposed to happen and does happen are two different things. The parents that understand or were shocked to find out what their kids were doing (you know that kids can just be bratty and liked your food better) are the ones that still let their kids play with yours. Those are the ones you'd want to have as friends.<br /><br />All parents go through this with random kids from the neighborhood. There is definitely a place to draw the line. <br /><br />Gucci Mama, the way you are looking at the situations and handling them are admirable. Not every parent could do that. I know it's something I wouldn't and/or couldn't do. The children that are wanting are lucky to have you. <br /><br />I think you've both done what is right for your circumstances and that's good. There isn't a right or wrong way to handle it because each parent and each child is very different.nitebyrdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04967190902623933068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-76791093661347564352010-07-12T12:41:37.045-06:002010-07-12T12:41:37.045-06:00Anjeny - exactly. It is not fair that they won...Anjeny - exactly. It is not fair that they won't feed my kids but expect me to feed theirs. It worked out for me. Not so much for certain parents. ;)DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-78696634898262271132010-07-12T12:39:11.687-06:002010-07-12T12:39:11.687-06:00Wendy - "Nutritional meal of hot dogs and Twi...Wendy - "Nutritional meal of hot dogs and Twinkies"! That killed me. LOL You're right about parenting for a week would send them right back to their desks. ;) <br /><br />Scorpiorising - I totally get what you are saying. The father did try to get involved...disciplining his kids and the whole 9 yards. Guess what the problem was? He had to go to work and his wife just didn't care enough to follow through. I used to talk with him before he started drinking and he once confided in me that he was constantly frustrated with his wife and disappointed in his children. The boys just run wild all over...and the daughter? I found out she had never been chaperoned by her mother whenever a boy visits.DCHYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18357136744364697580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-597971910647684412010-07-12T12:34:14.576-06:002010-07-12T12:34:14.576-06:00@DCHY...good job of laying down the law and sticki...@DCHY...good job of laying down the law and sticking to it. I am with you that if the parents of the other kids wouldn't feed my kids, then I definitely wouldn't be feeding their kids too. <br /><br />@Gucci..you are making a difference in those kids' lives. I'm pretty sure they will remember the nice lady down the road who lets them come over to her house and raid her fridge years from now. I think you being there for them does make a difference to them.<br /><br />You're both doing a great job!!Anjenyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11746822979694584318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-54513441595674152152010-07-12T12:30:44.113-06:002010-07-12T12:30:44.113-06:00@scorpiorising - agreed!@scorpiorising - agreed!heelsnstockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15181825688180635545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-55782754198024883772010-07-12T12:18:43.793-06:002010-07-12T12:18:43.793-06:00Just playing devil's advocate because somethin...Just playing devil's advocate because something DCHY said struck me.<br /><br />"Their mother will NOT do anything and she is now busy dealing with her very pregnant 16 year old daughter. Their father has started drinking to forget. I can't blame him"<br /><br />Poor father? Is he really to be pitied instead of bearing any of the blame?<br /><br />Perhaps the father's drinking started before the children's issues and are a cause instead of a result of that. Just throwing it out there.scorpiorisinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11253436496052614459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-9889311371058858422010-07-12T11:43:36.371-06:002010-07-12T11:43:36.371-06:00But one more thing....my first comment concerns yo...But one more thing....my first comment concerns young kids....when it comes to teen years I like having the friends over.<br />Felt more in control of WHO they were with and WHAT they were doing.I wanted their teen friends to bee happy and welcome in our home.<br />Just meant MORE hot dogs and twinkies.wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13619293936418976914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251212850644469714.post-62641733000543538962010-07-12T11:38:47.862-06:002010-07-12T11:38:47.862-06:00Being a SAHM or P is not an easy thing sometimes. ...Being a SAHM or P is not an easy thing sometimes. I liked for my kids to have friends over and for them to have an abundance of friends.....but when it comes to feeding them all lunch everyday, is a definete No No for me.<br />Yeah, maybe pick a day of the week that they know friends can have an "eat over" and you'll serve them that nutritional meal of hot dogs and twinkies.....but only once in a while.<br />and any parent who gets mad at you for Not taking care of thier own kids needs their heads examined. <br />I say invite them to stay at home for a week and Parent the neighborhood. They'd be begging for their cushy desk job back with their latte at their side. <br />I loved parenting my own kids<br />Others......in severe moderation.wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13619293936418976914noreply@blogger.com