Three years ago I was a bad a$* huntin guy that could nearly do anything and everything...

Shelle Edit: Owl is what we call in BlogLand... a lurker.  When he comments he does it anonymously and signed Owl.  He felt the impression to write this post.  I am so glad he did.  He may or may not comment back in comments... but please, if so inspired, leave a comment.  Thanks.

Three years ago I was a bad ass huntin guy that could nearly do anything and everything. I even went bear hunting in Alberta Canada almost to the arctic circle and bagged a 330 lb black bear with one shot... On the first evening of the hunt.

When I returned to my home in MD, I suddenly discovered I had issues. I had the shakes, like a leaf on a tree... could not focus on work, home, kids or even do the things that were common tasks to me.

I went to my family doctor who immediately said I need to have an MRI. I put that off for a few days because my wife is a very influential employee at the local hospital and said she could set up an appointment where I could just walk in and have the test done instead of waiting 4 hours.

The next day I got a call from wifey, K you need to check into the hospital for tests. The family doctor says you have a serious condition that needs to be evaluated right away.

So I go home, argue about checking in, eventually I give in.

I see a cardiologist that evening and he knows almost immediately what the issue is...

Congestive heart failure.

He starts medication and orders a stress test (which turns out normal) what doesn't turn out normal is an EKG and echocardiogram. I am definitely headed for a heart attack.

I talk out several options with a my cardiologist and an electrophysiologist... how can someone go from being healthy to talking about being an ideal candidate for a heart transplant in such a short period of time? No real answer is given by either doctor, just scenarios!

I have a defibulator implanted in January of the following year. In July of that same year I was doing my favorite thing (water skiing) and the defib goes off... NOT once but six times. I'm nearly in shock... Kids and wife are frantic... and ASK me what I think? I said what do you think? I need to go to the hospital! So I do... come to find out the defib picked up on a rapid heart rate (euphoria). They up the heart rate threshold on the pacer/defib. DUH

So three years later I live with CHF and the fact it may cut my life short... The good news is the meds have been mostly good for me... except the anxiety and depression that go along with the diagnosis and fact I never know when the defib will go off.

How does one deal with the outcome? How do you get past the anxiety and depression?


Who else lives with the same or similar condition?


Help? 

OWL