Okay, just because Shelle co-created this site doesn't mean she doesn't get an intro! She doesn't know I'm adding to her post so no one tell her alright?
Shelle is a wife to MountainSportMan and mom to two great kids. She works, blogs and she also has this great photography biz! She's witty, has many great stories and tells it like it is. If you'd like to learn more about Shelle please visit her at BlokThoughts
The first few years of my marriage were absolutely BLISSFUL.
I was like a fish in water.
We hardly, if ever, FOUGHT...sure we would bicker...but rarely FOUGHT.
About the 4th year of marriage...with our first child and brand new home...the stress was building and SO was our fighting.
In fact, we fought quite often...going sometimes a full day without speaking to each other.
Hold up...that's a lie. I would continue to call MountainSport Man (my husband) and bother him at work but he would either answer and not speak, or not answer at all. It's like dealing with a child.
You see...I would have rather SCREAMED it out and then been done with it...and he wants to retreat until the problem solves itself. GAHHH!
It drove me BATTY. He knew it did, which definitely gave him the upper hand.
Anyway...everytime we fought and I mean FOUGHT--(I threw a REALLY hard object at him...that MAY have landed in the proximity of his face)...yea, I wasn't proud after, but at the time, in the moment, ahhhh it felt GREAT. Would you believe...I'm not really a violent person...but my guy brings that out in mean, he knows which buttons to push!
Anyway...at those times...I would play the WHAT IF game with myself.
I would think about other past relationships and remember all the fun and then I would find myself daydreaming and wondering what my life would have been like IF I had picked one of THEM...one of the other guys.
Of course, when I was mad and we were fighting...the grass was DEFINITELY greener on the other side...
And my 4th and 5th years of marriage...I played the WHAT IF game quite a bit.
Didn't help us at all...but it sure made it easier for me, to daydream in my own little world.
Of course, those OTHER guys were always successful and fit and romantic and sensitive. Honestly, Ghandi couldn't have been a better saint.
Then FACEBOOK came along.
Thank goodness for THAT.
I mean...since connecting with past "friends" that are of the male gender, it has completely obliterated my imagination and What if dream of the perfect PAST guy.
I hate to say that SOME, okay maybe one, I didn't even recognize him! I recognized the name, was excited to see what was up in his life, but he's CHANGED...physically. I still don't believe it is him...but shhhhh...don't tell him that.
Are you kidding me? I came away FAR better. Whew!
So my guy doesn't have a sensitive, romantic bone in his NOW-30 lbs.-less body...but I have Romantic Comedies and Romance Novels...I'm good.
So the cure to overcoming the What If game in YOUR relationship?
Connect with past boyfriends or girlfriends on Facebook. Sure they may annoy you by poking you all the time and chatting with you as soon as you open Facebook up...but you no longer have to wonder what MIGHT have BEEN.
Luckily for MY GUY...I'm perfect in everyway...so he's never had to undergo any of that! :) That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
(I understand their is the exception...and Facebook wasn't around until just recently and I haven't been playing the What If game for that long...since I've been married 9 years...it really was only that 2 year spat where LIFE was getting at me--he IS still completely my best friend, I'm very lucky...but ya'll get my drift right?)
Okay now dish...have any of you EVER played the What If game in your relationship? Ever? And please tell me you have run into past "friends" in Facebook and thought "thank goodness"? I'm not the only one? Am I sounding snobish? I mean I'm not doubting for ONE SECOND that they aren't thinking the same thing.
Is this thing on?