Shelle Edited: First of all... I still need more pictures of you guys and your awesome relationships!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about click HERE.
Secondly, Chris is no stranger here... he wrote about his bout with depression right HERE. But I still wanted to put in this edit, because he did a VLOG the other day, and well, he did some interpretive dance, and I think everyone should see it. It's a 5 star must see. Just make sure you don't have any liquids in your mouth before hand... Just sayin.
I was aimlessly perusing the blogosphere a few short weeks ago, trying to drum up something to write about. Since I’m not dedicated to any one particular subject, I scrolled through my list of blogs ranging on subjects from fatherhood to baseball to Kim Kardashian to movies to the highly addictive hobby of scab collecting. I came across this blog, the only one I visit regarding relationships, and was struck with excitement as Shelle was looking for contributing writers on a number of different subjects.
Since I look for as many legitimate opportunities I can to talk about sex and boobs (particularly my wife’s), I zeroed in on this subject.
By no means am I a “relationship expert” but I am a typical man full of testosterone and ready to drop everything (meaning my pants) at any moment, in any situation if it means I might be getting lucky.
So… without further adieu…
While I wish I was writing this about how, “I believe sex can be used as a tool to get what I want out of a relationship”, I’m going to be writing from the perspective of how it “can be used as a tool to get what she wants out of a relationship!”
I say this because I (and most men) cannot use sex to my advantage... that is, unless you’re Ryan Reynolds (lucky six-pack bastard). It just doesn’t work:
Me: Hey babe, can you pick me up a Red Bull on your way home from the grocery store?
My Wife: Well… I’m in a real big hurry and I don’t think I’m going to have time. I’m sorry.
Me: Okay… well… what if I let you touch my butt for a good five seconds?
My Wife: Uh… what?
Now let’s see what happens with the role reversed:
My Wife: Honey, I know we’re in the middle of a giant electrical thunderstorm but will you fix the lighting rod on top of the roof?
Me: Are you crazy? No! I could get electrocuted!
My Wife: If you go do it right now… I’ll have my naughty cop outfit on for you when you get in!
Me: Where’s my rain jacket?
Perhaps I’m wrong, but I’d be hard-pressed to think that most relationships have the “horny-male, not-as-horny-female” dynamic. From the time a guy turns thirteen, sex runs through his brain about every millisecond!
So… if you’re a woman, here’s an idea: exploit our weakness.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with using what you have to get what you want.
Now… I’m not promoting the idea of turning a relationship into a barter system 24/7 but I am saying if you want MORE of the little things done around the house (i.e. dishes, laundry, fixing the squeaky door) then they WILL get done by feeding a man’s sexual appetite.
I don’t know that I’m the only one that’s particularly privy to this information… all women are pretty familiar that a man’s brain pretty much revolves around sex all the time (and when I say “sex” I don’t just mean “the act of it”… but everything pertaining to it as well). But not many of you realize the shamelessness of using it to your advantage! Us men will shamelessly “cash that check” whenever given the opportunity!
So, if you can think of something creative… I think he’ll hang his clean laundry or take out the trash just a little bit faster than he did last week.
1 year ago