Monday, February 28, 2011

I'm published.

Good Monday everyone!

This is going to be short and sweet.

I was asked by a site who interviews experts in Marriage and Family Therapy fields to write my opinion on what the one thing a man/woman wants in the bedroom.  So I emailed a bunch of you to get your opinions and then wrote up my piece, thinking nothing of it because I'm not an expert... or don't have the initials that tells everyone so.

I am a studier of Marriage and Family Science and graduated with my Bachelor's in that field...but that's about it.  I just love to talk about relationships and this site seems to like that about the Real World blog.

Next thing I know I get an email that tells me my words have been published in an e-book!

Featured Author - He Said/She Said Book on

Click on that and you can download a free copy for yourself. You guys, this book is awesome. I honestly don't see why I'm really even published in it with all the amazing people, but what they have to say you can definitely learn from! In the coming weeks I'm going to highlight certain things some of them say through VLOG or BLOG... but if you'd like, get your own copy and read up and discuss along with me. 

 In fact, if you read it and have something to post about it, then by all means let's have our own little mini book club on it!

Here's an excerpt by Dr. Steven Steven Davidson, LCSW, CST

Psychotherapist/Sex Therapist

"When it comes to sex, women tell me they want their

partner to express his love for her as a total person. She

wants him to be as attentive to her heart as he is to her

body. Sex is a bonding experience for her, and she wants to

feel connected with him on every level. She is sexually

aroused by him when he listens to her, validates her, and

shows an interest in her thoughts and feelings. She can

communicate this to him by reinforcing behavior that she

likes, and directly requesting from him what she needs. It

may require that he stretch into a realm of emotional

intimacy that feels awkward initially, but he will discover

that it is vital to keeping her satisfied in the


When it comes to sex, a man wants his partner to enjoy

the experience as much as he does. He wants to know that he

performs to her satisfaction. He wants her to desire him

and participate in sexual play and fulfillment. He wants to

impress her with his virility and skill and he will judge

his performance based on her level of enthusiasm. He wants

her to look forward to sex and to sometimes initiate it

when he isn’t expecting it. He can best communicate this

lovingly in conversations outside the bedroom.

ask her what it is about him that turns her on, and pay

attention when she answers. Whatever he does, he should

never pout or throw a tantrum if he isn’t getting it as

often as he would like. This turns women off and further

distances them from their partner."

Do you agree with him? Disagree? Why?


Love Shelle --Okay so maybe it wasn't so short.

It is the same people that interviewed me here. I hope you enjoy!


Garden of Egan said...

Amen! Well said.

Emily said...

Congrats, Shelle! That's awesome!

April said...

That's awesome, Shelle!

As for what the therapist said, I think it's mostly true.

UP said...

So jealous! So happy 4 U!!


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the therapist. What he said. If only guys knew this. If only my husband knew this, or atleast if he only listened when I told him this.