Shelle Edit: I have known Barb for a LONG time, or so it seems that way. She is a blogger friend made real life friend when I met her for lunch at Olive Garden. Nothing says friendship like bread sticks from Olive Garden... just sayin. The thing about Barb is she is young and hot and... wait for it... WITTY as all get out. I love the way she writes and I love her sense of humor. She is just as funny in real life--if you follow me on FaceBook I even have a picture of her! She may have me on all that smooth college skin and hot smokin bod--but I got her on eating the most bread sticks. That says something. When you get done reading her here, go read her on her personal blog--Barbalootsuit. ).
What NOT to say to SINGLE people...
There's a trend among those of you that have been out there enjoying your marital bliss. You want to hear about the lives of those who don't have it, give them advice, help them on their way, share how great it is....you get the drift. While we may (or may not) appreicate the thought, here is a guide of things you should avoid saying if you prefer to not have your throat ripped out.
-So, why are you still single? Well, sometimes I wonder if it's cuz I kinda walk like a duck..? Or maybe it's because I'm too introverted and don't give people the chance to get to know me..? It could be my complete lack of interest in the NBA and refusal to pretend otherwise..? I mean really, it'd probly be easier if you just asked us for a list of our insecurities.
-Or, equally as horrid, when are you getting married? Well gee, let me check with my non-existent fiancee and I'll get back to you on that one.
-You just haven't found him yet. Oh really? Is that why I'm still single and not going out on dates? Thanks for the clarification. I'll start looking harder at all those events I attend with massive amounts of single people.
-He just hasn't found you yet. Right-cuz I've been working so hard on my dating camouflage skills.
-It'll happen when it happens. Thanks Captain Obvious.
-It happens when you're not looking. For those of us that can't turn off the "looking" button, that's super discouraging. And also, I have known more than a few people that found their spouses when they were looking. So, it's just plain false.
-There are so many great guys out there. Gee, thanks for pointing out the fact that I can't even manage to find one.
Now, here's the thing: no, we should not complain and we should make the most of our current status in life and focus on being our best self, BUT never, NEVER, tell us to be grateful we're still single. Especially don't do it while simultaneously complaining about your marriage. We get that it's hard. We know changing your life to accomodate a spouse isn't going to be easy. But you know what? We're willing to do it. We're wanting to do it! Being in love is fun, and we want that. While we may enjoy the occasional crazy weekend, staying up late with friends, going on last minute weekend trips etc, we'd trade it for the relationship that you are complaining about.
If you simply must ask if we're dating and/or interested, make it tactful. Ask if we're seeing anyone. If we're not, leave it at that. Change the subject. The weather is always an easy one. There is no need to tell us how blind the other boys (or girls) are, how amazing we are, what they're missing out on etc. Chances are, there is something (or many somethings) we could do to improve ourselves and become more dateable. Giving us a false belief in how great and perfect we are certainly isn't going to make us more attractive to the opposite sex.
One final tip: be careful of setting up people on blind dates. Just because two people are single, that in no way means they'll be compatible. Trust me. I have, sadly, vast amounts of experience on this one.
Disclaimer: obviously, the facts (er, opinions) stated herein do not apply to all singles. But chances are, if you know them well enough to discuss their dating life, or lack thereof, you at least have a general idea if they're shooting to become the next George Clooney or if we think Seal and Heidi Klum are better role models.
1 year ago