Shelle Edit: Andrea isn't really new to the blog. In fact, if it wasn't for Andrea kicking me in the butt to start this blog, I never would have done it. It would have stayed on the floor of my great-ideas-but-to-lazy-to-bring-it-about pile that I leave haphazardly around my bedroom floor. Andrea got busy almost a year after we started the blog. I've missed her terribly and am so glad that she wrote to me and told me she wanted to write this piece. Go visit her personal blog after you read here how she re-invented herself! :)
When I saw the topic about reinventing yourself was up for grabs at Real World, I knew I wanted to write about it. For the past eight years I’ve been a stay at home mom. For the most part I’ve enjoyed that role. But as my kids, 4 and 8 years old, have gone off to school, I find myself wondering what to do with my days. I have been writing for the past couple of years (fiction and pieces for magazines) but I don’t really have a ‘career’.
About a month ago, after nearly a year of debate, I applied to Northern Kentucky University.
Yes, I’m going back to college. It both terrifies me and thrills me. When everything is finished and done, I’ll have a shiny new degree. Then I’ll get to put on heels and skirts and go to work every day (with any luck!)
I wanted this not only for myself, but to show my kids how important it is to have goals. Just because eight years ago I turned off my career and went to work as a mom, it doesn’t mean that’s all I am. I hate being called ‘just a mom’. I would venture to guess plenty of other moms (and at home dads) do as well.
There is a lot more to me than just being a mom of two kids. Making this decision, to in essence reinvent myself, took a lot of courage. It’s easy to get used to being in the same role day after day. But for me I started to feel like the proverbial (and literal) walls were caving in on me. I wanted to have something most people do; the gratification of a meaningful career.
The impact on my family was only one of the things I had to think about before I applied to school. Thankfully, the classes will be via online delivery, making it at least a bit easier. I won’t have to shuffle babysitters and kids around. It will take a lot of dedication on my part to make sure I sit down every day and do the work. Every. Day.
In the end the result will be a happier Mom and a Working Mom. And everyone benefits when mom is happy.
What goals do you have for yourself that haven’t been realized? Isn’t it time to find out how to make them happen?
Blogging Mama-Andrea
Teens to Adults - Talk and listen
5 years ago
7 comments:
I think we all get to that point. We feel we aren't contributing as much to society and that we have so much more to give.
But I thin your decision to stay home with your kids is absolutely the bst decision you could have made. I envy those who had that opportunity.
I got to stay home with my son and I loved every minute of it--okay, not every minute of it, but I definitely loved it more than I mourned it. I haven't been able to stay home with my daughter and I hate that. She is none the worse for it, but I am. It chips at me often and I pine for the time I have lost.
I soon realized that like you I am more than just my kids, and working on me is actually good for them, that it still doesn't make it easy. We are always their mom no matter what else we earn or become.
I'm excited for you! I'm so glad you are pursuing your education. I'm a big advocate of that! Good luck!
How timely is this? Today's goal includes me seeing what it will take to finish my degree - and to call and let the people who were going to hire me know that my life has changed enough that it's not going to work out anymore... and to let my kids know that for at least one more year - I'll be here when they walk through that door at the end of their school day. I think I'm gonna cry :)
My kids are almost 1 and almost 3, and I've already started back to school. It didn't take long for me to realized that being a full time SAHM would very quickly leave me a miserable pile of Mommy on the floor. I suck at this. My kids are happy, and smart, and ahead of their daycare peers, education-wise, but I am miserable. I hate this, and I know that after my kids go to school, my sanity would not survive if I didn't have a job.
So, we're moving later this month from Georgia to Maryland, and I've already applied at a college, and my kids will be going to daycare part time while I go to school full time. I'm probably taking on way too much, but I know that if I continue, I'll lose my mind, and then I won't be able to be a good mom, SAHM or not.
I think sometimes we define ourselves by what we do, not who we really are. I think there is a difference.
My degree is less new and not really shiny anymore. I am envious, as I really miss the focused learning of my school days. I'd really love to go back for more sometime, but now is not the season for me.
I would also be annoyed by the phrase 'just a mom' or 'just a dad'. That is only one of my "jobs", but I find it the most rewarding and the most important one.
I've always been a working mom, and there are times when I would love to trade places with someone like you, if only for a little while. It's really hard to strike a balance sometimes. I agree with Shelle that it is often harder on the working parent than it is on the kids.
Best of luck to you in your endeavors.
~JT
Best of luck to you! I need to go back to school, not just because I crave information, but because I know that one day these kids aren't going to need me as much as they do now. Very, very excited for you!
Over the last year, I've been learning the tools that allowed me to start my own business two months ago. I now have two very grateful clients and I am hoping that the word of mouth will start working very soon :)
My kids are both starting to look at me in a different light because, whilst I am still their Mum, I am also an independent business woman who other people come to for advice.
It's done wonders for my confidence too :)
good for you, im proud for you! and yes I agree when im happy the kids benefit
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