My husband hates it.
For some reason I don't understand, he is jealous of the time I spend with her, even though he's at work when I do it. He seems to feel threatened by the fact that I have a close friend. I don't really understand why.
I have some ideas though, based on what he's told me.
* he feels like I talk to her all day and get all my "talking needs" fulfilled, and have nothing to say to him when he comes home.
* he doesn't want anyone to know anything about him, and he doesn't want me telling her anything about my marriage.
*he is afraid that I won't need him anymore, or less, or something, because I have someone else to confide in.
So basically, he's ok with me having a friend as long as I don't like her too much, don't tell her anything about me that would give her any info about him, and am still dependent on him for my every emotional need.
It causes some tension between us, because he doesn't want to be around her, and as a result of his veiled hostility, she knows she isn't fully welcome in my home. I feel frustrated that I can't invite my friend over for any activities when he will be home because they are both uncomfortable.
This has become a real battle. He resents that I have a bff, and I am not willing to give the friendship up to soothe his ego.
FWIW - her husband has an almost completely opposite view. He sees that this friendship is good for his wife and that she's happier, and he's fully supportive. She tells me everything, and he is ok with that. I am welcome in their home, and as a result I spend a lot more time there than she does at my house. It's almost like I have this second life that my husband is not a part of, by his own choice. I find it kind of ironic.
He calls my affection for her "an obsession" and even "addiction". He has even accused me of being emotionally unfaithful. It hurts.
My relationship with him is suffering, not because I love her more than him, but because of his insecurity and jealousy that there is another person that I care deeply about.
So what do you think? Have any of you been through this? What would you do?
StupidSmartGirl--I also blog HERE