I think it is much to easy. Now I have no clue what it takes to get divorced but if it is a coin toss on your wedding day as to weather or not you will be getting divorced then it must be pretty damn easy. I think people should stay married if it is at all possible. YOU made a commitment. What does it say of a society when 50% of its of age population doesn't have a good word? 50% you can't rust to do what they said they would do? See my dad told me way back when I was young "Son you only come into the world with two things your name and your word, you need to be damn sure you leave it with both of them being good." Now he used "word" to mean your reputation of being a good person, your word being your bond, saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
Evidently everyone wasn't raised by my dad because evidently 1/2 of the folks word ain't good. Now I am sure that everyone has a good reason to get divorced. Yeah, I'm positive. The root cause is the one thing I harp on repeatedly, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. People don't care anymore, they don't have to be responsible for their actions so they aren't. They just do whatever feels good now. They strive for personal gratification with no long term thoughts. They don't give a damn what it does to their kids, who of course are much better off with a loving father and mother (or 2 same sex people), the same two people consistently for their whole life, than they are splitting time with parents. What does that teach your kids? Well kid if it does go just exactly like you want it then F it, just quit. What kind of parenting is that? Quitters. Thats the easy way out. When the going gets tough, the quitters get divorced.
Marriage is tough, damn tough. If you are gong to hop off the first time their is turbulence then it prolly ain't for you. You should get a government job and vote Democrat.
Put you big girl panties on people and suck it up. You decided to marry that person, I'm sure after months and years of studying the pro's and con's of being married till death to that person, having long long talks and recording for the future the promises YOU made to that person and they made to you so you should be sure by the time you walk the aisle. People seldom change, very seldom. Thats who you chose to marry. Everyone has hard times, some win the others quit. There are no losers just quitters.
Sage is out. (NSFW)
"Some say that marriage is an institution. The last time I looked up the definition of an institution was, it is hardly something that I would consider what a marriage should be like. As defined by the dictionary – an institution is “an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, esp. one of a public, educational, or charitable character” the other definition: “is a public or private place for the care or confinement of inmates, esp. mental patients or other disabled or handicapped persons.”
Scary if that is what a marriage should be like. Not exactly how I would like my marriage to be. I define marriage as ongoing efforts of two people to build and establish a happy, satisfying and sustainable relationship. Some people succeed in building this relationship and some do not. Once two people no longer wish to put in the effort and the relationship is no longer happy then it is time to go.
I am not by any means advocating an easy way out, that should there be a disagreement or a crisis then just bail. What I am referring to is that there seems to be a lot of bickering over nothing; you seem to be withdrawing from each other and when the other individual is communicating their thoughts and feelings, you are rolling your eyes disrespectfully. In addition, I am also talking about, you no longer fight fair, you no longer have fun together, you have nothing nice to say to each other, you do not talk about your individual problems to each other, you no longer trust each other and need to put a gps to track each other’s ass.
The words “I do” does not necessarily mean a life sentence for two people. Granted somewhere along the line, they happen to have children and find themselves in an unhappy marriage, the children should not have to live a miserable existence wherein they witness their parents hurl insults at each other and argue because their parents uttered the words “till death do us part”.
Children also live what they learn. Children fair better experiencing and witnessing their parents separate and eventually try and establish some form of amicable relationship rather than being in a consistently volatile environment. Children who grow up in a household where there are consistent arguments and tension tend to not do very well managing their own lives.
There are usually questions one can ask oneself whether or not one should stay or not stay in an unhappy relationship and some of these are.
- Are the two of you fussing with one another over trivial matters?
- Does just about everything about your spouse irritate you?
- Has your spouse physically or emotionally abused you? Are you afraid of your spouse?
- Do you believe that your love, patience and hope have just all run out?\
- Can you communicate about anything or do you always end up in a disagreement? When you fight, do you fight fair? Do either of you bring up past hurts?
- When was the last time you had fun together? When was the last time you felt sexually attracted to each other? Do you still make love?
- Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Have you tried counseling? Can you accept that your personal unhappiness is your own responsibility?
- Does your spouse constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and/or criticize you? Do you have any respect for your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?
- Are you willing to co-parent the rearing of your children with your ex-spouse?
- Have your goals and values outgrown each other.
- Can you compromise on important issues?
- Has your spouse been unfaithful, in your terms?
- Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again?
If you answered Yes and had to qualify the answer with a but, then it is time to hit the road jack or jill and get a government job and vote democrats….
WannabeVirginia out... (WannabeViginia is a Guest Contributor who I asked to write her opinion because of a personal experience of hers. Thanks WV!)
** One note, of course nobody should be in an physically abusive situation, I try not to state the obvious in my posts but people will call me out sometimes if I don't. SS