Mine, His, and Ours-Finances.

Shelle Edit: Jaime is another Guest Contributor and we are so thankful she asked to write here.  She is a lawyer by day and a Mom by night, or so her profile says, "just call me wonder woman".  Seriously, a few posts in and there is no doubt in my mind she is just that.  She's articulate and intellectual, yet she writes her posts in such a relate-able way.  You should definitely take some time to go over and read her at her personal blog-- Red Red Whine.  Witty...isn't it? :)

Hubby and I met in law school because our roommates were interested in each other. They refused to go out without us...at all hours of the day and night. Through this forced interaction, a deep, shared resentment of our roommates and fondness of each other flourished. In the end, we wound up together - they didn't.

One of our biggest challenges when we finally moved in together was paying bills. His way was to let bills sit until right before they were due. This drove me nuts because, inevitably, we'd get busy or he'd lose the bill and we'd get hit with late charges. I like to pay my bills as soon as I get them. That way I know they're paid, they're off my mind and I don't have to worry about getting busy or losing the bill. (This drives hubby crazy because he doesn't want utility companies earning interest off his money.)

We resolved our dispute by allowing him to have his way on any bills that were in his name and my way on the ones which were in mine. Each month, we would each write a check for half of each bill. My mother thinks we're insane, but we continue on this way over a decade later...

Between the two of us, we have six bank accounts: the joint accounts, his and mine. Yes, all the money is "ours" but I like having my own money. I tend to hoard it while hubby tends to invest his. He hates having to remind me to fund my retirement account and that I don't want to write big checks to pay down our line of credit. I can't help it, I hate doing it! I like to see a good sized balance in my savings account. Sure, it's earning virtually no interest but I can see it there so it's more tangible for me.

We're very lucky that our spending habits are similar. We work really hard for our money and don't spend it freely on a lot of things. That being said, hubby is a pilot and is going for his instrument rating. If I knew how much he spent on lessons, I'd go ballistic. Similarly, if he knew how much I spent on my personal trainer, I don't think he'd be too happy with me.

But when it's "my" money, if I want to shell out a little of it on a new pair of shoes each month or go a little crazy at the Victoria Secret semi-annual sale, I should be entitled to... And he should have the same kind of freedom with his flying, as long as it comes out of "his" money.

It's a strange system, but it works for us. I look at our friends and all the fights they have over money and one person spending too much. We really don't have those fights. (Of course, when I got home tonight hubby snidely pointed out all of my packages which arrived in the mail today... I may have gone a little crazy shopping while he was on vacation last week.)

Even so, if that's the worst we deal with, maybe having mine, yours and ours accounts is the way to go...


Jaime