I've realized something, of myself, and while talking to a friend. So in a few days or maybe tomorrow, I am going to post about how I need help. Sometimes when I ask for help, I feel like a failure--but again, talking to my friend, helped me realize that it's not about that, or me, even.
But for today...
We are going to have our first ever SECRET BOX!!!
I do this on my personal blog but have never done it on Real World. And since Real World is suppose to be a place where one should feel free to say what they really feel, I thought this would be the perfect place to HOST the Secret Box.
Here is what you do if you have never participated in one of these.
You tell a secret you have in comments. Most do it anonymously, but you can do or say it as yourself also. Those that have advice can come back and comment on your secret or their secret or what have you.
See I realize about myself that if I get the secret out of me that it no longer burdens me as much or at all. It makes it slightly easier to keep it or work through it or overcome it. You get what I mean?
So go at it friends. Tell your secret, get it off your chest. If you have a way to help someone else or can understand where they are coming from... stop back and let them know in comments.
Again, it can be anonymous our not.
41 comments:
I was falling in love with you and I probably would have reversed my vasectomy for you, but you never gave me a chance...your loss
If you were single I would totally snatch you and marry you!
I agree! HER loss, since I'm sure a girl isn't going to have a vasectomy reversal... just saying. But I agree...her loss.
Get in line! If I could have a dollar for every time someone told me that! ;) jk. But I pick up what you're putting down... some that are snatched up are definitely the best in the market... hence the already being snatched up. :)
I'm boring today... my only secret is that I let the 6 year old stay home for the third day in a row... is she really still sick? yeah, probably not sick enough to miss school but it just seemed like a huge effort to get her moving and not worth the fight.
and maybe she'll keep me from eating my weight in popcorn?
I don't love or respect the person I'm with. I want to leave but have been around for so long, I can't seem to find a way. I hate my life as it is now.
Secret Box, huh? Hmm. I do have a juicy secret or two. Maybe three. All right. Four. LOL
My tamest secret? I know a secret about a certain person and she would die if I ever told anyone. Most likely from embarrasment... ;)
I love having a secret younger girl that I see on the side. If I thought there was an actual chance at a real relationship I would leave my wife.
I like women who wear dark, 'slutty' makeup.
I DO love the person I am with and I also admire his efforts to get better but I am so burned out on the depression issues and how life is turning out. Part of me wants to run, part of me is comfortable and I don't want to start over. BLAH!
I wish he was more freaky in the bedroom. I've tried talking to him about it but it just doesn't seem natural. I know that sounds weird, but it's hard to explain. I'll still try...when he does try talking dirty or doing freaky things, it feels awkward and just not right. It's not a turn on for me at all. In fact, it does the opposite. It's like bad acting, I guess.
Before him, I was a very sexual person. Now? Not so much. I still enjoy sex, but I don't get horny like I used to. Now I have to be provoked to get horny, where as before, I could just get horny on my own.
I don't masturbate as much as I used to because of this.
I feel like I've come down to his level of sexuality and lost touch with my inner freak.
At the same time, I have no desire to cheat on him with someone who is freaky. I'm happy with him, I just wish he had it in him to be the freak that I was.
Hm. I do have a secret - I maintain two blogs...dirty/sensual and the other? Clean and in no way linked to this one. I relish the knowledge of bloggers being oblivious...think about that...
You know all my secrets already, I have nothing to hide from you. - SG
I secretly wish I could wrap my legs and entangle myself within on and around another woman's husband who I'm attracted to his mind and not really his body. Figure that one out anyone?
The ex wife and I used to love watching other people get it on. Individually, she and I loved watching each other have sex with someone else. For me in particular, I loved watching her with other men more than me participating. We always looked for someone that was possibly much more attractive and quite hung. The more she could do with him, the better. I know it's a little strange but we knew we weren't the only ones. It got us closer and our sex life was the best, even after 7 years married. I miss those times.
I feel guilty because while many relationships I hear about are failing and in dire need of repair, mine is great! But I feel bad saying it to those who I know want me to listen to their problems but hate me because they know I really don't, not anything major anyway.
I think my eating disorder is coming back. Right now I don't care because I'm skinny and that's more important.
I used to lie about the weight I entered into the elyptical.. now I don't have too..
ok not a secret but a confession.
If I get a job with better pay, I'm leaving him. He doesn't deserve me.
My wife cheated on me.
I married my high school sweetheart shortly after high school. We were apart for three months right after the honeymoon because I had just joined the Navy. Two months after being married my wife cheated on me. Neither of us had ever been with anyone else. I felt it was a reflection of me. I was 19 and did not know what to do. We have now been married 27 years this month. I have never told anyone.
I get my emotional needs met by other people both online and in real life. My husband can not seem to be able to provide this for me.It is a hard line not to cross(emotional with physical) with the people providing me this support, but I don'tI feel empty often and it saddens me. It was easier when I was busier with the children to not notice this, I thought it was just a vacuum of tiredness from them but now as they get bigger I realize I am alone, very very alone
I think Catholicism is the worst denomination of Christianity. Confessing your sins to a man, hailing Mary, putting ashes on your forehead, lent, etc...all ridiculous. And that's not even including all of the pedophiles being moved around from church to church, as not to have their secret known.
I guess that's not much of a secret, but I'm still going to remain anonymous.
I misunderstood my wife and played with a woman. She got very upset and ordered me to cease all communication with that woman. I did continue to talk with that woman behind her back (I felt bad for creating that situation) and my wife eventually let me talk to her. The secret? I really REALLY want to play with that woman again and I think my wife will not let me with her. Ever.
My husband gave me permission to "meet up" with a woman (I am a woman) and we had a great time together but reality was harder than the idea for him and he made me feel as though I cheated on him (even though he gave permission)
I am still friends with the woman and feel like I have to hide that from him so he isn't hurt/jealous. I doubt he'd ever let me meet up for even coffee with her again and this saddens me- immensely.
I dream of marrying Blue-Eyed Vixen's goat
So many of these secrets seem like they could be mine... but I don't dare to write them down.
Thank you
I think I am better than you
If I had a vagina I don't think I could keep my hands off of it. Oh and I would keep it waxed...always!
My secret is that I used to think that I was the only one who had some of the kind of secrets mentioned.
Oh, and I wish I were you, Shelle!
I am desperately in love with my college boyfriend from ten years ago. I should have married him instead of my husband. I regret it every day.
I am very saddened by all this talk of infidelity and regrets about not marrying the right person. You can't know that it would be or would have been any better. The life you think you're missing is a fantasy. A fantasy totally created in your mind and has had no opportunity to be tested in real life. Even if there is another person involved, chances are that relationship has been nurtured and protected like a real marriage can never be.
Umm dear last anonymous poster I reject your reality and insert my own
Nice that the anonymous who's so sad about the talk of infidelity knows the reality of all the different situations and can make sound judgments on them in the comments section of a blog.
As if regrets aren't a part of EVERY person's life in one manner or another. As if people just wake up one day and magically decide to step outside of a perfect marriage as if there are no mitigating circumstances.
There's nothing that makes it right, but there are things that make it understandable. To take these confessions, which I suspect were not easy to articulate even anonymously, and squeeze them into a tiny little box labeled "you are unhappy in your marriage/you have regrets/the years have changed you/etc. therefore you suck at life and should unfuck yourself immediately" is pretty offensive, I think. And pretty ridiculous.
I haven't walked a mile in any of these people's shoes; I suspect Anon MckJudgy Pants hasn't either. We don't have to agree with everyone's choices, but we can surely support each other and lift each other up instead of trying to drag people further down (because none of these secrets sound particularly happy to me) with a self righteous, holier than thou attitude.
I love the secret box; I think it's a fabulous idea. But I have to say, I'd be pretty damn wary of sharing something private, even anonymously, if I had to worry about being discounted and belittled and judged.
My two cents. Not that you can put a price on my brilliant words, but you know.
I don't think anon was judging? anon was saddened and voiced it's opinion but I don't see where anon was being rude or overly judgmental to anyone. anon made some good points, we DON'T know if it would be better, when one is cheating, that person isn't with the cheater 24/7--they just get to have them in spurts... and I'd bet, mostly fun ones! :)
You are right Gucci, none of us know or have walked a mile in anyones shoes, we don't know how many of these secrets of infidelity are justly validated or how many of them are actually pure selfish infidelity?
I would hate for anyone to hold back commenting or saying their feelings if they were afraid of backlash, but I feel it's a risk we take commenting anywhere whether anonymous or not.
I do like how you stated we should lift each other up, try and help each other.
Hopefully everyone got the secret off their chest and it helped them. I know it helps me! :)
Thanks everyone for participating. If you do have help for any of the comments above I bet it would be greatly appreciated.
i couldn't agree with gucci mama's comments more ... she said it best with 'there's nothing that makes it right, but there are things that make it understandable'.
none of us are perfect.
oh, and thank you thank you thank you for doing this. people need this!
and i will come back when i am ready to tell my secret.
Many many many bloggers have made a huge assumption about me and couldn't be more incorrect......
But I let them think what they want (makes them happy and gives them something to talk about amongst themselves) the truth is less entertaining anyway- plus their story could be right, the facts could line up.....but they don't and aren't
I am seriously growing to hate women, dating and relationships. You say you want someone nice, decent, who treats you well loves you and is a good lover but in reality its a lie
I let my boyfriend walk all over me because i would rather not fight with him... because I can NEVER win....
He is so opinionated, selfish. and closed minded that he gets pissed about everything i do. Cant clean right, make dinner good enough, wash the clothes the right way, everything i say doesnt matter to him, and he honestly brushes it off his shoulders and doesnt listen...
anything i say to defend myself is a lie or excuse to him when its really something he doesnt accept as an answer... while whenever he makes a mistake or doesnt do something its supposed to be ok.... Im not supposed to be mad... and then if i try to stay mad he will turn the tables and find something that I do wrong to counteract why im mad. so there is no option for me to be upset to him...
He can be a good guy, its just at the end of the day my con list is longer then the pro list with him...
I stay because i dont want to burden his mom... why? Because his mom supports him [27yrs] with a weekly allowence and paying our rent for us . In turn i pay all the utilities, pay for all dinners [even if we go out... i always pay- even valentines] and the day to day items....
Basically every paycheck is gone by the time the bills and necessities are taken care of so there is no time to ever take care of myself and my responsibilities and my health...
If i leave, she will have an extra $1300 on her plate to pay for and i know she is struggling enough as it is to pay what she is...
So my secret?
i dont stay because i love him, i stay because i dont want to financially burden his mom [because she is such a wonderful woman].
How do i get passed all thid and be strong enough to make the right choice for myself rather then making a choice for someone else?
xoxo I
I've been best friends with my best guy friend for 7 years. He has been there for me through THICK and THIN... At one point he asked me out, we went, but it was never more for me because he wasnt my type.
He was completely unexperienced and lacked the confidence that i was looking for in a guy. He also had never been with a girl in anyway, and i just wasnt attracted to him sadly.
About two years ago, he offered to pay me $260 to show him how to be with a girl [in all aspects]. I said yes because I have been struggling financially for a long time and i needed the extra money...
To this day we still have random deals where we have sex and he pays me...
You may call me a slut or a whore, but he is my best friend and he asked me for help and offered help that i needed in return... win win situation.
I am the other woman.
I have slept with a Married Man... it was a one time deal,... hit it-n boot it..., ya know. vowing to never do that again, not only because I felt like the guilt would swallow me whole during one of my many panic attacks to follow, but because the SEX was Terrible!
Well I slipped. Met an awesome Man and hv been built a friendship with him over a year long before it was ruined.., he picked me up after my 3 year serious/marriage material bf broke it off and broke my heart. He carried me through the longest year of my life. We never flirted, didn't even steal a glance for too long, well, i did check out his perfect Ass at every chance I got...
But then one evening everything changed, we were doing the regular thursday night happy hour and playin pool, when weboth went to grab the same pool stick the electricity was shooting outta every pore we each have, the tesion was huge.
We parted ways that night after an intense game of over the top flirtatious/competitive pool. He called the next morning on his drive to work we joked about the night before even threw in remarks like I'll meet u at such n such Hotel 4pm sharp...it took weeks for logistics to work out, but we both wanted the time to really make sure it would be worth it. another week goes by and we book a room, i check in around 330pm he comes at 5. the second he walked through the door we kissed for at least an hour, mind you our very first kiss...after was an intense sexual honeymoon only it was 20 x's better. I was a ravenous animal, he was double my ravenousness. We had 5 incredible sessions, multiple O's for both each session and the desire to continue until daylight.
Morning came, sweet nothings whispered over coffee and pancakes.
Then nothing, i was disgusting ...guilty...i ignored his hundreds of emails, texts, fb friend requests after me deleting him. He mentioned he wanted more a rendezvous every week. the sex was incredible. top 5 in my black book....but the f'n guy is married. I cant do married....i want my own man...hopefully he's reading this and will finally realize 2 years later i will never make sweet bad love to u until your divorced.
My wife recently confessed that a childhood crush of hers had contacted her and they have been chatting. He has been complimenting her on how beautiful she is and that he would love to meet up with her to have sex.
I have felt no jealousy at all, only sexual excitement about the thought of her being desired by another man and turned on by his attention.
I would love to watch them have wild sex and see her face and hear her moans. I also secretly want him to be well endowed.
I think I would have been jealous in my younger days. Not sure why it is so exciting now.
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