Friday, February 12, 2010

Growing old with spouse- Jules Perspective

Growing old with my spouse and partner sounds good/bad because...

How I answer this depends upon the minute, the hour, the day or the week. However, my initial response to this question was this - Growing old with my spouse sounds GREAT because I can't wait to do the things we like to do as a couple but can't because of the stage of life we are in.

What drew me to my hubby in the first place (beside his killer blue eyes) is the fact that he was willing to partake in my crazy outdoor adventure sports that I was interested in doing. I gave him the ultimate test early on by showing up with a tent and setting it up outside his apt sliding glass door and telling him I wanted to go tenting with him. Granted - I had bought a tent made for pets or children 2 years and under and he graciously pointed out my error proving that his straight forward thinking indeed did balance out my curvy, swirly, circular, what path? thinking.

While living in Colorado we had many many opportunities for adventure - backpacking in Utah, climbing steep trails to waterfalls in Telluride, CO, a 30 mile one way back pack trip through the Grand Gulch, climbing al
most to the peak of a 12,000ft mt. (damn mt. weather) just to name a very few examples. But, this all changed when we moved back to Minnesota and started our family. It is hard to strap an infant on and go across the desert - especially when you have two babies under the age of 18months old and one weighs 3 lbs. our life drastically changed. Our adventure days were basically through.

However, as our children grow older, the light --- the one at the end of the tunnel is slightly visible. I see a day where it may be possible to go with and without our children to once again do the things that we enjoy. We proved this to ourselves during our first trip back to CO as a family. Our first expedition will be to the BWCA I believe.
So what about growing old with your spouse do you look forward to?

26 comments:

Alex said...

I agree that there are some things, adventures, that are harder to pull off with children of any age. However, I think you can still find quite a number of them that would work for younger children.

However, in the your situation with one of your children being only 3lbs, then yeah, that drastically changes things.

One day, beautiful, you'll get back to doing those awesome adventures that you and Hubby used to do before the kids came along. You'll probably find that they're even better when your children tag along ;)

xo
Alex

Just Jules said...

Thanks Alex,
We had a blast in Colorado and can't wait to go back with them when they are old enough to climb a 14'er with us.

I popped in to say - if you haven't checked out NV's post on the Male Perspective be sure to go one post down and check that out too.

Alex said...

Yes, I saw it and commented :P

ShellSpann said...

There are definitely things that are difficult to do/experience when kids are young. I've noticed that. But once they are grown you'll have all the time in the world! :)

Anonymous said...

Great post. You sound like an adventure girl after my own heart. :-) Although it is hard during certain stages, there are lots of "smaller" adventures you can take the little ones on. It does require more patience and flexibility though.

We are finally getting to that light at the end of the tunnel you were talking about! Our youngest carried his own stuff on a 20 mile backpacking trip this summer - with no complaints.

We are gearing our kids up to do our favorite 65 mile backpacking loop through Glacier National Park in Montana, which is not for the wimpy or faint-hearted. Hope to achieve that in a few years.

Best of luck to you and your family on your journey together.

tysdaddy said...

I think the most exciting thing about growing older with my wife is that we are still learning. And with that learning comes more interesting conversations. And, at this point, we can more easily claim to not have all the answers.

April said...

Yeah, I'm sure it's a struggle with young children to do things. But like you said, they're getting older. That means you can do more things without having to push a stroller or change diapers or whip out a boob to breast feed. =)

As for me? Well mine isn't technically my spouse yet, but he's most certainly my significant other/soon to be spouse. I look forward to sharing our ups and downs, going to bed next to each other and waking up next to him every day for the rest of my life. I look forward to being a better person because he's helped me with that, as I've helped him become a better man, too. I look forward to us watching my son grow up and become a young man. I just look forward to being in love with him forever. Sappy, I know. But it's the truth!

Southern Sage said...

April, I just had to be resuckatated from the vomit I suffocated on!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh

Y'all are a sappy bunch!

Good post!

Just Jules said...

thanks anon - anyone who agrees with me I like ;)

tysdaddy- someone who admits they don't know it all - amazing

april - so sweet....

Sage - you are a big softey, I bet.

Southern Sage said...

yes yes softie indeed.
Sigh
sigh
thru the lump in my throat I type these words and thru my tears I see the blurred words of love and all that other shit!

hehehe

(I made me laff!)

CaJoh said...

If you both enjoy doing these things, having children along should not be an obstacle. In fact, it may just encourage them to love the outdoors just as much. And when they are old enough to carry their own packs they will carry on the family tradition.

Thanks for sharing,

April said...

Sage: I agree with Jules, you are a big softey! Now go grab your vomit bucket!

Southern Sage said...

April I wish I could move but I am currently in the floor in fecal position wallowing in my own urine tears and vomit watching Titanic and cuttin my wrists.

Its tough being a softie and wearing your big ole heart on your sleeve!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Now Sage. They aren't saying anything you haven't said yourself.

They are calling you a SOFTY... or SOFTEY as it's been spelled.

see... softy = a person easily stirred to sentiment or tender emotion.

Softey--they are just calling you fat.

Sorry I had to point that out to you...

bwahahaha... see... NOW whose the funny one!!!

Southern Sage said...

Huh??
Fat?
Well dang all the chicks that know me irl say big boned?
hmmmmmmm

Daddy Geek Boy said...

You ever buy a pair of sweats or something like that and the more you wear them and live with them, the more comfortable they get? I feel like life with WW™ is going to be like that.

Plus, I'm really, really looking forward to when the kids get older and we are able to carve out more time for us.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay... well BIG BONED... is ANOTHER way of putting it... sure...

DGB--That is a most excellent way of comparing it.

Joanna Cake said...

I just wish I could have grown old with mine. But, suddenly, the only thing we had in common with the kids and then we were at opposite ends of the spectrum with how to bring them up. There was no love, no respect and no mutual interest.

It's really sad and it's lovely to hear that other couples do manage to retain that innate love for each other. Kind of restores my faith in the institution, even if it didn't work out for me... this time :)

tysdaddy said...

Sage,

You owe me a new laptop!

I hope to all that is holy that you were not on the floor in the FECAL position . . .

Unless of course you were, in which case . . . well . . . EWWWW!

;-)

Southern Sage said...

T Daddy, I was wondering when someone would pick up on that!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha FECAL! Yea that IS gross!

tysdaddy said...

Sage,

I is a English mayjor!

But you may be onto something. I can imagine this taking off in the blogosphere, being in the fecal position. Just a big, lumpy, pile of excrement, Bukowski style.

Nice . . .

Southern Sage said...

SBT I see you sniggered too!

T-Daddy- be sure to gimmie credit for it!

Just Jules said...

oh tysdaddy - I saw it and ignored it... best thing to do I think - hate to encourage such behavior ;)

Just Jules said...

JoAnna - there is always more chances to get it right - if you are still breathing you get another shot.

ATV WEB SOLUTION said...

We laugh lots, pick our battles and always know that no matter what we have someone in our corner fighting for us.

WE BELONG