That has nothing to do with what I'm about to talk about... I just think the quote rings true.
I can fully say, with complete confidence now, that the apron strings which connect me to my parent/family is very very very thin... like you can't really even see it. Really. At least I think. Or I mean... kinda. Maybe you can still see the teeny tiny edge that connects the string to my skin... because I hear it is thicker at that point, but as the string gets in the middle I mean... you can barely see it.
I would hate to completely break free because I think it is important to stay connected to the two people who helped mold me into who I am... which, of course, is totally awesome! I mean we have to assume that is why my husband married me right? Looks only goes so far, and for some, not far at all. So we have to bring out the only thing that may redeem us, which is PERSONALITY, and my parents helped mold my personality.
Growing up my mother and father instilled in me that family comes first. Any decision conflicting with school/friend life and family I would always get, "who comes first Shelle"? When any family member performed, played, or had ANY event... we'd pack up the station wagon and come rain, snow, or shine we would head to whatever it was and be there for SUPPORT. With 6 kids in the family we ALWAYS were supporting SOMEONE. I was the black sheep because I was always saying, "You've seen me dance this 10 other times, no need to come to this performance." Yet, they were there. If not my brothers and sisters, my parents were. My Father has three girls. Each of us did the dance team in high school. Poor guy had to sit through each one from beginning until end. Each and everyone one. That's a lot of competitions-I'm telling you, he should be beamed to Sainthood for that.
My husband comes from a family that well... is pretty much opposite of mine.
So when we got married he had a hard time with me wanting to drive three hours in extremely hazardous snow weather to make it to a football game of my brothers or cancel our plans because my mother had made impromptu plans and wanted the whole family there.
We had a lot of intense
But that wasn't the only string that needed cutting.
The other one my husband wasn't to fond of was the one where I went to them for EVERYTHING! Meaning... when we got into any kind of argument, they knew about it, in explicit detail. As well as my two sisters... and sometimes my older brother. (What!?)
In my defense, my family, my MOM especially and my two sisters are and were my VERY best friends. Even WITH best friends in high school, (which I have ones that are still my best friends today and are more like sisters than just friends), my mom and sisters knew everything about my life before anyone. Even in high school when I did something I wasn't suppose to... I usually ended up telling on myself because I couldn't stand not talking to my mom about it.
So you can understand the difficulty of cutting my apron strings.
It has taken 10 years, and still I can mess up sometimes, for me to be able to put my husband in that role of confidant and priority. In my heart and mind he is and always will be first priority as well as my kids, but habits are hard to break. And even now when we argue I am chompin at the bit to tell one of my sisters or my mom just so I can vent, and if there is a family event that I can't make it to I feel left out and sad that I missed it.
But... not as much as I used to and especially if it's because my hubs and I are going on a trip or one of my kids has an event.
And if something good, funny, or even bad happens to me I find the first person I want to tell or call is my husband.
I can see how this might be a deal breaker for some couples though, because if the partner can't put their spouse or significant other first than that SHOULD be a problem. When you get married you agree to put that other person first before anyone else even your family. For those of us who are religious "...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall acleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?." (Matt 19:5 and Mark 10:7) the more one does this the more they rely on the one person that is and should be most important in their life. It creates that unbreakable bond.
So like I said... the string is still there... but you can barely see it.
Any of you have this problem? Or have had this problem? How have you gotten through it. Is it a deal breaker?
Tomorrow Sage will tell us his perspective on it so come back tomorrow, warning though, you may laugh.