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Alex commented and wrote a question for everyone to discuss. We decided it needed its own post! So here you go: Please give any advice you feel is helpful for Alex's question.
I had squished this post into a comment during one of the last Group Therapy topic. I was actually wondering when I'd get a chance to write a post for this blog. So here it is;
With all the discussions about Child Support a couple of weeks ago, I brought about a question I had in regards to my brother's situation. First, I'd like to tell you about his situation.
My brother met this girl about two years ago ( he was 20 years old at the time, he's now 22 years old). I honestly don't remember the date. They hooked up and started dating. Ok, more like fooling around. He had no idea this girl had children. To be fair, she didn't HAVE her children. Child A was taken from her at the hospital by CAS. Child B was given up for adoption and was taken at the hospital by CAS. Child C was delivered IN JAIL (she was in there for dealing cocaine) and taken from her by CAS. When my brother entered the picture, the girl was fighting to regain custody of Child C. Child C was almost a year old by the time she got him back. She, in the end, won. My brother fell head over heals for this little boy. He's a darling and even I care deeply for him. His one mistake was sticking around in the relationship because of the little boy. He didn't love this girl. He never has. The biological father, btw, is in jail for numerous things (including drug dealing, assault, etc) and has never seen his son.
I'm now going to skip to present time because the middle of the story really has nothing to do with what I'm about to write.
In early October, my niece was born. So now my brother is a father and a proud father at that. He truly loves this little girl and has done everything in his power to support her and provide for her. In December, my brother and his girlfriend broke up. They both agreed on figuring out a visitation schedule without going to the courts. They were being mature about it ( despite both not really being mature adults). They agreed upon the following; My brother would take both kids every second weekend (Friday at 6pm until Sunday at 7pm) and would take them on Thursday evenings. He would purchase all diapers (for both kids) and formula for his daughter and would help out as much as he could financially as long as his ex provided him with copies of receipts. Things have been going well in that sense but utterly horrible between the two of them (fights, threats to go to court for custody, etc).
So that's the situation. Now for the problem;
CAS has now stepped in ( remember, this girl has a running record with CAS and when they caught wind that my brother was no longer in the picture, they became involved). They decided that my brother needs to go to court and have a legal Child Support agreement drawn up. Not only does he need to do this (according to CAS), but he also "legally" has to pay child support to Child C, as well as for his daughter. Their reasoning behind this is because my brother has been part of Child C's life for well over a year (living with him, taking care of him, etc), that he has become financially responsible for Child C.
This is incredibly unfair. Yes, my brother loves this little boy. Yes, he wants to help out by supporting this little boy because he truly feels a bond with him and the little boy thinks of him as " Daddy". I think it's wonderful that they share this bond and even more wonderful that my brother wants to help out by paying extra money each month in order to help support the little boy. I'm very proud of him and have told him numerous times (I have a son who is not biologically my husbands, and so I've been on the other end of this "bond" because my husband feels the same way for my son). However! I do not feel that he should LEGALLY be held responsible. My brother have not adopted this child, nor has he signed any sort of paperwork stating that he would financially support him. Also, from my understanding (and I could be wrong here), the biological father has NOT signed over his biological rights to this child. I have told him that if he fights nothing else in court, that he needs to fight this one. Continue being the good guy and pay a little extra if that's what he wants, but make it so that he doesn't legally have to.
I s this actually fair of CAS to ask this of my brother?
Will the Court actually make him pay child support for a child that is not biologically his or legally his? (We're in Canada btw. I know that our legal system is different than that of the USA but some things are generally the same).
Thank you for reading my post and for offering any suggestions, comments, tips and answeres that you may have.
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