Thursday, February 11, 2010

Growing old with your spouse

With the divorce rate hovering at 50%, it seems to me that the concept of growing old with your spouse is in danger of going the way of the dinosaurs. What is appealing about growing old with your spouse? Your spouse would:

1) know every little quirk of yours
2) tolerate them
3) know how to "take care" of your order at a restaurant when you cannot order for yourself
4) comfort you when you are sick
5) know where it feels "good" to you when touching you
6) support and/or attend your interests/hobbies
7) be in tune with you, emotionally and physically

I could go on and on but I know that you all have experienced this. Your spouse is, at the minimum, your friend. Ideally, your spouse is your best friend. You have shared your secrets and fears with your spouse and you both are still together after all that. That's what I love about my wife and I do my best to do the same things for her as she has done for me. Reviewing this list has made me realize how much I appreciate her and...

I better tell her now. :)

18 comments:

tysdaddy said...

Maybe we should keep the list going, and see where it takes us.

Growing old together means your spouse could:

8) Make my coffee exactly the way I like it.

9) Know that I like my hats to be of the baseball variety, and form-fitting, without the velcro.

10) Be able to tell the orderly at the nursing home that I am most definitely NOT interested in Mindless Romantic Comedy night in the lounge. Or the Hoe-Down.

I'll drop in throughout the day to drop more as I think of them . . .

Becky said...

Such a nice post. At 25 plus years I must say I love this concept ... I think growing old together = safety, love, acceptance and fun. Ha, love your comment tysdaddy.

Missty said...

We are approaching 27 years next month. And yes he is truly my best friend.

I'll add to your list...

11. He calls me during the day just to tell me he is thinking about me and loves me.

12. He makes me laugh every single day!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

13) Has put up with my many moods, and irritating habits!

14) Has been and continues to calm and ground my soul the moment I look at him.

Nolens Volens said...

I like that...adding to my list. I will remain silent here and see how far along the list goes. :)

For those who are curious, I have been married since Sept. '00.

tysdaddy said...

15) Knows that I prefer Mountain Dew to any other soft drink.

16) Understands that "I Love You!" is always implied, even when I forget to say it . . .

Hopelessly In Love said...

KUDOS... I think more marriages would stay together if we stayed on track and kept telling each other how much we appreciate what our best friends mean.. We always start out so good.. but, then .. sometimes forget..

Stay Happy !!

Jen

CaJoh said...

I think that the older you get the more likely you will be accepting of others.

I like the ordering at a restaurant. I find myself doing that more and more— especially when she decides to leave the room and have me order for her.

Alex said...

Jen (Hopelessly in Love) said; "We always start out so good but, then sometimes forget"

And I couldn't agree more. I've only been married for 3.5 years. But already it's begun to slip and slide downhill. I can only hope and pray that we can work together to make it last throughout the years. I wouldn't mind sitting here and saying "in the past 20+ years ..."

Congratulations to those who have made it that far and Good Luck to those who have yet to make it there.

heelsnstocking said...

i so wish i was appreciated in that way! im invisable

Anonymous said...

17) Knows that his name is safe with me & vice versa (i.e. no derogatory comments made about the other)

18) Knows that I am loyal and faithful and gives the same in return.

19) Gets my goofy humor and throws it back at me.

Anonymous said...

What a great post. We have seen a few of our good friends (who appeared to be solid couples) split up recently.

This year is significant for us as we will celebrate our 20 year anniversary. (Where did the time go???)

I love that we can always laugh, have fun and appreciate the good times. However, there is a lot of unity, comfort and confidence in the fact that we have overcome a lot of challenges together.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

My hubs can discern if I need to vent or want him to make it better! Incredible quality.

The laugh lines on my face he is responsible for a lot of them.

He still opens my doors, to the point where I'm so use to it that when I'm out with my girlfriends I stand at doors for them to be open or wait in the car until I realize I have to open my own door!

I wholly believe he deserves better yet he gets pissed if I even say anything close to that.

He has given me my kids...something we shared in creating and has brought me genuine happiness, deeper than anything experienced before.

He wakes me up in the mornings even though he knows it won't be pretty...

10 years last weekend!

NV what an excellent post!

It hurts my heart that you feel invisible heelsnstocking :( no one deserves that...

Anjeny said...

I love this post and the list...love that everyone is adding to it. Here's mine:

20. As my memory starts to delude me, my hub is there to remind me all those things I need to remember.

21. He's my biggest fan or supporter when it comes to me trying a new skill or talent.

22. I will always have someone to travel with who can take my pictures without me stopping some total stranger to take one of me just for my scrapbook.

23. Even in his serious disposition, he still know how to tickle my funny bone...LOL.

24. Quite frankly, I just hate the thought of growing old alone...my kids are going to be moving on with their lives and I like knowing that I will have my hubby to grow old with, to do things with, to sit on a swing on some porch somewhere and chat our hearts away.

Thank you Nolens for posting this...it's totally fitting since my anniversary is in a week...this list and all the additions from everyone had reminded me why I am married and intend to stay married to my hub and to grow old with him.

Southern Sage said...

I couldn't read all the ay through it. I'll try later. I started to cry, pee'd myself, cut my wrists and choked on my own vomit!

Good post NV.

jam said...

we've been married 32yrs this october. he still makes me laugh after all of these years together. we started dating again when our oldest started high school. he thought it was silly. but i explain to him. that he and i needed to reconnect as a couple. our four would be gone in a few years. i dont sleep well unless he's next to me. oh my goodness, can this man cook. wonderful post.

Just Jules said...

Phew I am here - party is over I am sure. But I am always good at the clean up.

Hmmm I am posting no this tomorrow so I will wait until then but love his this took off today :)

SheSaid/HeSaid said...

I absolutely love this! Thank you for having something uplifting and joyous to read.

* we can agree to disagree and love each other for accepting one another's point of view.

* he still calls me beautiful after seeing me at 6 am.

WE BELONG