How I found out my son wasn't a virgin.

Children never think that their parents were ever children. Some weird synapses of the brain programs them to believe that their parents were plopped on earth as fully formed adults ready, willing and able to raise them. 

In some ways, I think the reverse is also true. Parents don't ever think their babies will become adults. I know we all imagine our children as grown, thinking of them being president or finding the cure for cancer.  In my case, I just was hopeful I'd be able to get them through school and out of the house at one point without visiting them in prison at any point.  But I digress.  When my son was born, it was a total surprise. Not that I was having a baby, I had that figured out, but that he was a he!  A sonogram early on predicted he was a she. (1985 sonograms not very advanced.)  My husband and I only had picked out a girls name. Everything I'd gotten for my shower was pink and/or girly.  So, you see HE was a huge surprise.  In more ways than one, he was freakin' HUGE! The boy weighed 10 pounds, one ounce at birth. Vaginal birth.  He looked like Mao Tse Tung, he was just adorable!

I did think about him becoming a man but it was a distant thought and I just never got my brain to accept the idea that he, my adorable baby boy, was actually destined to become an actual grown-up male human being. He did keep growing – the terrible two's, the I-only-want-mommy phase, the I-only-want-daddy phase, the I-hate-my-sister phase, the I-hate-everyone-phase, and the dreaded puberty.

A boy in puberty is a trial from nature. I finally understood why some species eat their young.  Again, I digress.  He grew and matured.  He began to take long showers and then he began to date. His first serious girlfriend was at the age of 15.  She was a very nice girl, got him to go to church – three times a week! They dated about a year. They were madly in love and then she dumped him.  Oh! The Agony!  That lasted about two months and my boy was back on the dating scene.  His next girlfriend, while nice, was a few months older than my son and was years wiser.  They were in lust.  I don't think she knew what church was let alone enter one, not that I'm judging, mind you.

While I could recognize the fact that my son, now a teenager with five o'clock shadow and a deep baritone voice, I still couldn't bear to admit to myself that he was on the verge of adulthood and all that entailed until the morning of July 5th of the year he was turning 17.  On that morning, I was picking up clothing from the bathroom floor to place in the hamper when a condom wrapper fell out of the pocket of his shorts. An empty condom wrapper.  An empty glow-in-the-dark (yellow) condom wrapper.

My baby, my sweet precious baby boy and his tart of a girlfriend had celebrated our country's independence with a BANG! He had also declared his own independence that exploded my delusion that children stay children.



Nitebyrd--> has also written for us HERE and HERE