How many of you have grown up thinking that. Or, are YOU a parent and do YOU have a favorite?
I have raised five children. People ask me all the time, "who is your favorite"? "What" I reply, "parents don't have favorites. A parents love is all encompassing and equal."
After I had my first child and found myself pregnant with my second, I'd ask myself, how is it possible to love another child as much as this one. We all find out love isn't like a piece of pie where you cut it up into slices, where each child gets a part.
Love is like an Ice Cream Sundae. You just keep adding wonderful toppings till it (your family) becomes a masterpiece.
My children tell me - part teasing, and part reality in THEIR minds- that I have a favorite. Oh, he's your favorite they say to me. I stand with my fist in the air proclaiming, I have NO favorites. You are all loved equally.
I, myself, believe that. However, I will admit each child has brought to my life a DIFFERENT topping for my sundae.
One, an amazing sense of humor.
One, a sense of adventure.
One, (my only daughter) .....a female bond, a strength, daughters are different.
One a sense of peace.
One, a sense of spirituality.
(that's five right?)
See, different toppings. NOT BETTER. The love is not different, it has been enriched with THEIR own individuality.
The oldest child accuses the last child of getting it all. He says the youngest has been provided with a silver spoon in his mouth and a gold brick up his butt. Well sadly he might be accurate to a certain degree. When a parent has their first child, you are still getting established in life, with your job/career. You are still learning how this parenting thing works. By the time a fifth comes along, you generally DO have more money, more resources, and the last is generally the reciprient of that. The last is LUCKY is all, not loved more.
I am the oldest in my family. One brother and one sister. I went through a period of feeling a little less loved and appreciated. I have been a more challenging child than my siblings. Their list of accomplishments are long. Mine less noteworthy. But I know, by dang, I am loved. I may not be the cherry on top of that sundae. Doesn't matter. I was the nut and some people love nuts. They didn't love me less just because I'd give them an adverse reaction to the nut sometimes.
It's all about building that sundae. Enjoying each dimension of it, savoring every flavor and texture.
So here's the questioning. Do you have a favorite..really? Did you think your parents played favorites?
1 year ago