Defending Facebook

Shelle Edit: Will is new to me... and to Real World.  But the guy knows how to write and get his point across.  So do you agree with him??? Check out his personal blog when you get done reading here... it's linked at the bottom with his name!

I’ve had Facebook for a little over a year now. I was very resistant to join. I even deleted my account once because I didn’t feel comfortable with it. I joined again a week later with the decision that I would run my FB page the way I wanted to, not according to the default profiles of security, info, etc. I wouldn’t accept friend requests out of obligation, only if I wanted to. I wouldn’t list my phone number, etc.

I’ve fine-tuned my opinion of FB as time has gone on. As that has happened, I’ve found myself becoming pretty opinionated on it’s use and abuse.

So, is Facebook a good or a bad thing? I think it’s good. However, I can see the bad, the risky, the iffy, etc. That’s what I wanted to discuss for my post on FB.

First, there’s been a lot of talk about FB being responsible for divorce. My feeling, is that is ridiculous. (Then again, I’m also in the “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” group.) I feel like personal responsibility and common sense should override any argument about FB being the cause for marital strife. If you are doing something, or saying something online that your significant other would be unhappy about - perhaps you shouldn’t be doing it! If your s/o wouldn’t want you chatting with an ex - guess what, you’re free to do it, but you know without asking how they are going to feel about it. Would you have this conversation in real life? Would you say the same things you say online to their face? In front of your spouse? If the answers are no...then maybe you shouldn’t be saying them online.

Personally, I am “FB Friends” with a couple of ex-girlfriends. My wife knows them, or at least knows their stories. She is on my page, listed as my wife. So she can see the things that I’m saying, or if I’m commenting on their pages, etc. I don’t hide that. I don’t hide the fact that I’ve reconnected. That being said - I have also chosen to ignore a couple requests from exes that I know my wife is uncomfortable with. I don’t have to be friends with anyone. If a certain action on FB is going to cause drama in my life, I just don’t do it. Simple.

Now, does FB make flirting easier? Of course. It can definitely be tempting. Give me a minute to edit my thoughts, and I turn into Rico Suave. I say alllllll the right things. In real life, not so much. So online, it’s easier to say the witty, the funny, the flirty. And it feels good to get your ego boosted. Online flirting can do that quite easily. So, take some responsibility. If you wouldn’t say it in front of your spouse...take a second and think before you post.

I think that if FB has facilitated flirting, meeting up, infidelity in your life...then you were probably headed down that road anyways. It may have made it easier for you - but you are still to blame.

So can Facebook be used for evil? Sure. Can it be used for good? Pointless fun? Brand advertising? News updates? Connecting with sports teams, bands, actors, etc? It does all of that to.

It just matters how you use it.

- Will