Showing posts with label let's talk about sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label let's talk about sex. Show all posts

Friday, April 30, 2010

Talking about sex

What is your opinion about talking about sex with friends outside of your marriage?

I find that being able to compare my experience with that of a trusted close friend helps me feel validated in ways a man simply can't. It also focuses my attention on sex with my husband, and therefore I'm much more interested in actually engaging in sexual activities. I've gotten new ideas to spice up our sex life, and have learned to look at certain issues in new ways, which has helped me relax and enjoy sex more than ever before.

My husband feels incredibly threatened by the idea that would I share info about our sex life with anyone else. He believes that our experiences together should be kept just between us.

I've tried it his way -- and having a gag order placed on me completely kills my sex drive. He is miserable if he knows I am talking to my bff about private things. This puts a serious strain on our relationship. How do we resolve this impasse? For now, we're doing things his way, but I am having a hard time being censored and our relationship is just getting worse.

What do you think? What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom? Where do you put your boundaries about what is and isn't ok to talk about outside of your marriage?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Lovin' in the mornin', Lovin' at night.... when is it right?

Out of the fog I feel it... it starts slowly. A hand on the hip, a not so subtle reposition, a rub on the back. All an attempt to wake me up for morning sex. Honestly, there are mornings where he would have better luck waking a grizzly bear up to run a marathon in the middle of January. It just isn't going to happen.

There are several reasons for this. Most of these reasons are physical,
Actually, I can't think of any of them that aren't physical.
1) I do not wake up smelling like roses and mouthwash... sorry, but it is the truth.
2) I am NOT a morning person. NOT even a little bit.
3) I can not go from zero to ooooh baby in .0002 seconds. I need to get my engine warmed up.
4) Warning: blunt truth coming up right ----> here: I do not like having "stuff" dripping down my leg for the rest of the day.
5) The kids are awake and need food, drinks, help with this that and the other thing, knocking on the door, or worst listening at the door. I can not separate me mom and me lover that well... my kids are still young enough that me mom wins.
6) Finally, I just don't like it as well.

I am sure Dearest could counter each and every one of these arguments with a perfectly logical and true statement of his own... but, I am not going to let him here. (that is what the comment box is for - but if you want any lovin honey .... just sayin....)

My dear sweet man has a hard time with night time "activities" because he works all day long, with very little down time and by the time the children are in the bed, and I have relaxed- allowing any such sport to begin- his eyes are getting heavy and his head is bobbing. He is out. Now, once he is down for the count - he is down.

Quite honestly the most amazing and perfect answer ever is NOONERS !
(too bad he has a job that doesn't allow him to come home during the day... sigh....)

WE BELONG