So if you had 3 wives and we were having a video party (that's what we called it in my day) which wife would you sit by? Would you hold her hand? Would you share your popcorn with her? Would you? huh? huh? huh?
The thing that always got me is that my husband would start squirming and little beads of sweat would form on his brow. He could never fully commit to who he would actually sit by.
These games always ended with me stomping off to the bedroom in tears and withholding any favors from him until he promised he would only sit by me.
When I went from being a lover to being a mother, it created a whole new dimension to the fun little quiz-your-lover-about-polygamy-because-now-I'm-a-stretched-out-stressed-out-mother-and-I-know-you-wouldn't-be-sitting-by-me-at-the-video-party-so-stop-your-freakin'-lying game.
These games usually ended with my husband stomping off to the bedroom in tears and shouting Why would I want to be married to more than one . . . YOU?
Ah, the good ole' days, when I was young. And beautiful.
I practically invited the green-eyed monster to live in my closet. And under my bed. And in my bed.
But mostly I let him live in my head.
I let it feed off my imagination. And the media. And my abandonment issues. And my idealism. And my misperceptions of love.
It may be true that going green is good for the planet, but it's the quickest way to kill cupid.
It took the first ten years of my marriage to get rid of that destructive green monster and the next ten years to repair the damage it did to my marriage.
Even now, ten years after I've had any outbursts, I feel a little bit ashamed to admit it. In fact the first time I spoke (cautiously) and (hestitantly) about it to anyone was in my night class last semester. (I'm a college English instructor). I was surprised by the reaction. Student's began texting me during class confessing that they were struggling with the same issue and didn't know what to do about it. Other students talked to me in person or called me after class asking for advice. I actually didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone HOW to stop being insecure?
If someone were to ask me if they should allow drugs into their body I would shout "DON'T DO DRUGS!"
If someone were to ask me if they should allow jealousy into their marraige I would shout "DON'T DO JEALOUSY!"
The bottom line is the same because both are a slippery slope to unhappy, unhealthy relationships which breed secrecy, paranoia and distrust and make you increasingly unattractive to your partner.
Moral of the story?
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