.....and I think it should be that way.
(I do my very best to be ummmm understanding here and not be to tough on others and their point of view, or to be condescending!)
Well I often hear about people with different opinions on this but as I have stated before and as is my rock solid position when we were married we decided that what we do would always be what was in the best interest of our kids. I will honestly say that I truly don't understand folks (men especially) that say/feel like they should be first, above their kids. This is just my opinion but the men I know personally that have this as a public stance are ummmm softer than the rest. Needy. More sissyfied. That being said I can understand their take IF the man does the majority of the parenting. If say the man is in an stay at home dad situation then I can see it.
I can also see a girl, female, woman feeling differently. Especially if they do the bulk of the parenting. I can see their take being "I tend the kids, they are fed, clothed and where they are sposed to be when they are sposed to be there, now someone needs to put me first!" And lets face it women see things differently, and they feel more and other reasons I just can't understand. Not negatives just the way it is.
It is my belief that if you choose to breed and give birth then that life IS the reason you do whatever it is you do. That life is the veto power in all your decisions. If the best thing for the kids is opposed to what you want to do then the best for the kids veto's your other desire. Of course people need time alone and for themselves and together without the kids. THAT is in the kids best interest so that mom or dad doesn't punt them to the moon!
The reason I am for the bride putting my kids first is because I am a grown azzed man. Now it should be said that I never look to her or anyone else to do things for me, I don't ask for help even if I need it. Hard headed I reckon, who'da thunk it?
Kids, all kids, need to be put first in my opinion. They need to know that their best interests are being placed at the top of both parent's list and both parents need to back that up. It is my hope that the bride, when asked "why wasn't daddy at my game like XYZ's daddy?", she replies "because son your daddy is out of town so he can earn money so we can have/do this that or the other."
That goes both ways.
Well all that is to say I never would want the bride to put me first. She doesn't. I would be disappointed if she did.
I think that's the way it should be............ what do you think? Do grown folks that feel like they should be or need to be placed atop the list selfish? Are they lacking confidence? Are they suffering from low self esteem? Let me know what you think.
1 year ago