Friday, October 2, 2009

Socially Inept?

The question is:
What do you do when your significant other is socially inept? Does that affect what you do as a couple together? Is it a problem or not?

First lets look at the definition of inept

I don't think that accurately describes my husband. I think the word "retarded" is more appropriate. Hi my name is Missy, and my husband is Socially Retarded. Which is a stark contrast to myself. I am a take charge, get in there, get the party started, kinda girl.

In his defense, he has always been that way. When I met him, he had 1 friend. The same friend he has had since Jr. High. Funny thing is, the friend is more like me than hubby. Outgoing and social.

He does not: 1) like big crowds 2) new people 3) bars or clubs 4) change 5) my family. My family has grown on him, but it's taken 8 years.

This used to be a problem for us in the beginning. And it still can be on occasion. But mostly, those of us around him, know how he is, and we just deal with it.

He would much rather have the family cookout at our house than go to my Mom's. I think he feels more secure and in control when he is the host. Plus he loves to cook and it gives him something to do rather than talk to everyone. Somehow it works out.

I think this one comes back to compromise. Sometimes he goes with me and the girls to family events or outings. Sometimes we go without him. If he is feeling particularly grumpy, I'm just fine with him staying behind. If I force him to go he is just going to be miserable and crabby. Why bother?

The good news is, since he met me he has doubled his friends... He has 2 now!

Life in Left Field

P.S. I am having a Giveaway on my blog.


Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

You just described MY husband! That is funny. I think they attract the socially able because it compliments their social "retarded-ness".

I loved your post! Thanks for making me smile and learn all at the same time!

Missy said...

Thanks Shelle. Sometimes I wish he had more friends. Especially like right now. I just hung up the phone with him. He called to rant about the idiots he works with. Someone else should get to share in that joy.

Missty said...

Ok, Lets make that three guys... hey maybe we need to get them all together! LOL

My man is getting better.. but good grief, we have been married how long??? (26 years) Its time to get better right?

Great post

CaJoh said...

My wife's ex-husband was like that a lot. Never wanted to go out and socialize. I think he has improved and perhaps just knowing that he can be relaxed around family helps him come out of his shell.

I do admit that it can be difficult to be engaging if you are not comfortable around the people you are with— I can be that way especially if I do not know anybody and have no way of getting in on a conversation. It's one of those techniques I need to improve upon.

Janean said...

So, Missy tell us what you REALLY think. lol. My honey & I were like you, but after many years we've exchanged roles. I'm the "home body" and he's "Mr. Socialite." Too funny.

Just Jules said...

Wait, can my hubby join in the playdate too? He actually is maybe not antisocial, I am not sure because it has been so long since we have had the opportunity to socialize. If we are able to get out it is so spur of the moment there is not time to plan a get together with others.

When in a party like environment my hubby does a fine job of socializing, but he tends to stick with one or two people he knows. I on the other hand try to talk to everyone,and tire of talking to one person for too long. Unless the conversation is that good ;)

Maybe, someday we will get a chance to be in social environments again... and I will let you know what comes of it.