Tuesday, November 3, 2009


My husband is always late for things. Whether to work, church, appointment, you name it, he can be counted on to be late for those functions. I thought it seems kind of ironic because I've been told or it is actually a fact that islanders (I'm an islander) are usually so laid back that timing is not important to them whereas Haoles (that's what Hawaiians call white folks from the mainland USA) who are fast lane people, being on time is crucial (generally speaking, of course). For some reason, my hubby and I seem to have reverse this role. If any of you have never been to an island get-together, let me just tell you that if an islander tells you that the set time is at a certain time, you can almost always bet that whatever the event is, it isn't going to start exactly on time, in fact, if you get there half an hour late, you're actually on time. So I think this might be just perfect for my hubby.

I don't like to be late for anything. I'd rather be early than being late and I try to make sure I get to where I'm going at least ten minutes early. I guess this was something I grew up doing, all those teachers giving me and my fellow classmates such a hard time for being late that it had become a part of life for me. As I get older, I don't like being late mainly because I don't like to draw attention to myself. Believe me, it's very difficult to be on time with seven kids. But I've learned over the years how to make it work for me to get to my appointments, church, meetings on time even with seven kids in tow. And because of the number of kids I have, I know there's always going to be some mishap that happens right as we're walking out the door which I always anticipate so I prepare myself for it. If I am not running late, I can actually take care of the problem and still make to my appointment on time.

My hubby, on the other hand, doesn't seem to care about being late. If we're late for church or a doctor's appointment, it's usually because we were waiting for him. Our kids know now that if they are in a hurry to get somewhere, to school, work, or even to a party, if they want to be on time, mom would be the person to get them there ON TIME. Forget about asking dad unless they want to be late getting there. This used to be such a big problem, a huge irritation for me, I would get so frustrated that I would literally give him the silent treatment or sometimes just nagged the living daylights out of him. Of course that wasn't the way to go because we would end up fighting and that made him want to be late even more on purpose just to tick me off.

So I came up with a solution: instead of nagging about it, I set the clock ten minutes early. Not only that but if let's say I have a doctor's appointment and I want him to come with me and the appointment is at ten in the morning, I tell him the apoinment is at nine. That way if he takes time in the shower, which he likes to do or take forever to get ready and add in his driving, we would actually get to my appointment on time (thirty minutes after nine which is perfect because we are half an hour early). I know this may sound like I tricked him but it worked to both of our advantage, I'm not late for my appointment and he was able to do everything he wanted to do before we leave and he didn't have a wife who was cranky at him for making her late.

He is actually fortunate that where he works now, the boss is pretty mellow, being late is not that important to him, as long as everyone gets their job done at the end of the day, he's ok with it. The question asked was: should it matter if we're late? Well, I would say yes and no. There are some things that being late for is not an issue and then there are some things we should never be late for. Just depend on the individual. I don't like to be late for church mainly because I don't like people looking at me when I walked in trailed by my kids, such a distraction. I don't like being late for a meeting or school and a doctor's appointment. And if I was working outside the home, it's a must that I am not late for that. And getting my kids to school on time is another absolute must. Going to parties or some other functions that are mainly for entertainment, I'm totally flexible on the time.

What about you...does it matter if you're late? Are you or spouse never on time? Should it matter?


ShellSpann said...

I am always on time. I am neurotic about it. Luckily for me, my boyfriend is the same way. My ex-husband was LATE for everything and it drove me CRAZY! When I tried to set the clock to trick him, he figured it out every time. LOL

Missty said...

Great post. I think if I had a spouse who was always late, we would take two cars. lol Seriously I think I would tell them I would meet up with them later.

What I find funny, or whatever is some people can be on time to work, appointments, etc. But going out to dinner or a movie they are late. So that says to me I am not important to them, or what we are meeting to do isn't.

If that happens a couple times, I am pretty much done with socializing with you. Its rude.

My SIL and her family are always late. Thanksgiving dinner was to be at our house. I said dinner would be served at a certain time, but everyone can come anytime they want before then. I also told my husband we will be waiting for about 20 minutes and then serve dinner. We did just that. His mom wasn't to happy, his dad was fine with it, he said it was rude they had not shown up. They showed up and hour late, and we were all just finishing dinner. There was plenty so they could still eat.
SIL was pissed. lol Oh well, this wasn't the first time of her being late. I wasn't going to have my hard work of cooking sit and get cold and yuck.

The following year and every year since then - they have been on time. lol

Heidi Ashworth said...

I abhor being late. Abhor it! Though I understand people feel differently about it than I do and that's okay, I feel like it is rude. I don't like the feeling of anxiety I get when I have to rush around, either. Does your husband know you tell him a different time for appointments?

Anjeny said...

LOL ShellSpann..I'm happy your boyfriend likes to be on time like you. Being late is a nuisance.

Missty, good for you. And I feel the same way too. Glad you stick to your gun, as you can see, your SIL can be on time if she doesn't have a choice. We do have two cars but sometimes I just like to sit and enjoy the ride. I've started to just go on without him and have him catch up with us.

Heidi...first time he figured out what I did, he was not too happy about it because he then had to wait half an hour but I told him that I had to tell him a different time because I didn't want to be late so now he's ok with it.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Now that everyone knows I'm late... which means I'm not dependable or respectful... I'm sorry to say that I being called things still doesn't get me anywhere on time. I wish it did.

I love that people tell me a different time to get me there on time. Because it just seems that no matter what I do I'm always about 5 minutes late.

It's a weakness and a sorry point in my personality... I'm sorry.

Is that better?

Anjeny, my husband does that same thing for me, because we just use to argue about it... and I would seem to drag more the more he nagged me. So... baby steps??? :)

Anjeny said...

Aw Shelle, you mean to tell me that even I give you a really good incentive, you still won't show up on time?

I guess if I ever have to meet up with you, I'll just tell you to meet me at an earlier time than the intended time, how's that? Don't worry though, we still love you big time even if you're always late..LOL

Margaret said...

I am like you I always have to be early so that I don't draw anymore attention to myself. My husband on the other hand doesn't care if we are early or late

2busy said...

I hate running late. We are always on time. The exception would be if we don't have an appointment or someone else depending on us for instance, we are going to a movie and we are late, so we catch the next one...No big deal.

IWA (e - va) said...

I am like many others always on time or 5 minutes early! Saying that I am Neurotic about time is kind of an understatement! My husband is only on time to Work or anything that has to do with money or FOOD! anything else he is late, late, late.. and a lot of times he does it on purpose just to get me a little on edge! Sooooo, i set all the clocks 12 minutes ahead of time (in the house) and in his truck i set his clock 9 minutes a head of time and every so often I will screw with his watch and set it an hour a head of time just to mess with him!!!! LOL!

H.K. said...

My husband used to be chronically late for everything- he was over an hour late at our wedding. Strangely I was very calm because I knew he was just "running late." However I was neurotic about being on time.

We have learned to meet in the middle. I tell him a different time and I try not over react if we're late.

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Dating Manual said...

Very nice post. I´m with you... my husband is always late too.

It´s very to good to have a place like your blog to share this fellings. Thank you.

Dating Manual said...

Very nice post. I´m with you... my husband is always late too.

It´s very to good to have a place like your blog to share this fellings. Thank you.