Late....AGAIN

My husband is always late for things. Whether to work, church, appointment, you name it, he can be counted on to be late for those functions. I thought it seems kind of ironic because I've been told or it is actually a fact that islanders (I'm an islander) are usually so laid back that timing is not important to them whereas Haoles (that's what Hawaiians call white folks from the mainland USA) who are fast lane people, being on time is crucial (generally speaking, of course). For some reason, my hubby and I seem to have reverse this role. If any of you have never been to an island get-together, let me just tell you that if an islander tells you that the set time is at a certain time, you can almost always bet that whatever the event is, it isn't going to start exactly on time, in fact, if you get there half an hour late, you're actually on time. So I think this might be just perfect for my hubby.

I don't like to be late for anything. I'd rather be early than being late and I try to make sure I get to where I'm going at least ten minutes early. I guess this was something I grew up doing, all those teachers giving me and my fellow classmates such a hard time for being late that it had become a part of life for me. As I get older, I don't like being late mainly because I don't like to draw attention to myself. Believe me, it's very difficult to be on time with seven kids. But I've learned over the years how to make it work for me to get to my appointments, church, meetings on time even with seven kids in tow. And because of the number of kids I have, I know there's always going to be some mishap that happens right as we're walking out the door which I always anticipate so I prepare myself for it. If I am not running late, I can actually take care of the problem and still make to my appointment on time.

My hubby, on the other hand, doesn't seem to care about being late. If we're late for church or a doctor's appointment, it's usually because we were waiting for him. Our kids know now that if they are in a hurry to get somewhere, to school, work, or even to a party, if they want to be on time, mom would be the person to get them there ON TIME. Forget about asking dad unless they want to be late getting there. This used to be such a big problem, a huge irritation for me, I would get so frustrated that I would literally give him the silent treatment or sometimes just nagged the living daylights out of him. Of course that wasn't the way to go because we would end up fighting and that made him want to be late even more on purpose just to tick me off.

So I came up with a solution: instead of nagging about it, I set the clock ten minutes early. Not only that but if let's say I have a doctor's appointment and I want him to come with me and the appointment is at ten in the morning, I tell him the apoinment is at nine. That way if he takes time in the shower, which he likes to do or take forever to get ready and add in his driving, we would actually get to my appointment on time (thirty minutes after nine which is perfect because we are half an hour early). I know this may sound like I tricked him but it worked to both of our advantage, I'm not late for my appointment and he was able to do everything he wanted to do before we leave and he didn't have a wife who was cranky at him for making her late.

He is actually fortunate that where he works now, the boss is pretty mellow, being late is not that important to him, as long as everyone gets their job done at the end of the day, he's ok with it. The question asked was: should it matter if we're late? Well, I would say yes and no. There are some things that being late for is not an issue and then there are some things we should never be late for. Just depend on the individual. I don't like to be late for church mainly because I don't like people looking at me when I walked in trailed by my kids, such a distraction. I don't like being late for a meeting or school and a doctor's appointment. And if I was working outside the home, it's a must that I am not late for that. And getting my kids to school on time is another absolute must. Going to parties or some other functions that are mainly for entertainment, I'm totally flexible on the time.

What about you...does it matter if you're late? Are you or spouse never on time? Should it matter?