Baby Making

If you read my blog, you would know the new adventure we have started on. We are in the midst of trial of a fertility drug, Clomid.

Now this drug really makes a mess of your...in the bedroom time. At the beginning when I first take the meds, it's HORRIBLE mood swings and grumpiness for me. Then a week of happy. Then it's waiting around for the "Right time" to do....what is necessary!

The issue is....you are on a schedule of when you can and can't ....have relations.

As much fun as it is to know, Monday night I'm going to have .....time with my hubby. I also know that if something is bothering me or I'm mad at him for something....it's going on the back burner until after....things have been done.

My hubby is okay with this.

I'm on the fence. I want to have a baby SOOOOOO bad but at what cost??

My question to you is....do you ever 'push through' for the team, just to keep the peace?

The Guilt Trip

Aloha from the Crash Test Dummy, coming at you from an island far far away.

Today I feel like pouting.  To understand, you must first run over to Shelle's Blok Thoughts and read this post.

In case you didn't read it, allow me to summarize: Shelle recently drove herself to the airport and flew her son to football camp. Less than 15 hours later she returned home to find her hub waiting for her at baggage claim. He had driven all the way to the airport to pick her up, even though she didn't need a ride, simply because he couldn't wait to see her.

How cute is that?

Okay, it's cute if you're Shelle, but if you're not Shelle, it's one of those things that makes you go Ahhhh, NO FAIR!   (Hmmmph!)

This post dug up a pity party memory for me. A few summers ago I traveled to New Zealand and Fiji for two weeks with the History deptartment. I could hardly wait to return home to see my hub and kids so I called my hub and asked him to pick me up from the airport. I was arriving late, like 10 p.m. so I knew it wasn't PRACTICAL. 

My hub said, "we'll see."

I was disappointed by his lack of enthusiasm, but I harbored a secret hope that he would surprise me.

When I walked off the plane I looked around, but there was no sign of him. No sign of him at baggage claim either.  Dejected, I got on the bus with the rest of the professors and rode home.

To my dismay and disappointment, when I arrived home all the lights were out and everyone was in bed, including my stinkin' hub.

I felt so unloved and unmissed.

I tried not to react and show my disappointment so I jumped into bed and wrapped my arms around him.  

He patted me on the back.  That's it.

Uhhhh!  

DUDE!  

I knew it would have been impractical to drive so far, so late. And what would he have done with the kids?  But I also felt like he was emotionally punishing me for being gone in the first place.  It wasn't the first time I've cried in the bathroom after returning from a trip. 

One part of me was thinking "What about the PASSION?  What about the ROMANCE?"

The other part of me was suspicious he was sending me on a guilt trip.  

My dad was a master of the guilt trip so I have little patience for it and I often over react to it.   

If you were my therapist, how would you advise me to pack for a guilt trip?  

Whose Turn is It?

Do you ever have disputes with your spouse on whose job it is to do what? Does he take out the trash, you do the dishes, etc? Or do you take turns? You won't take the dogs for a walk because you did it last. He won't change a diaper because it's obviously your turn.

My husband I have those conversations too..

Husband: Honey, go put the DVD in the PS3

Me: You put it in, I ordered the Pizza

Husband: Yeah, but I went to the door to pay the guy

Me: I poured your drink

Husband: I plated your food!

Me: I'm going to one day carry your children and go through hours of painful labor!

Husband: Wouldn't we have to have sex first!?

Me: Touche' funny man . . . touche'.


Untypically Jia

Lets Talk About Sex

Not sure if this has been addressed much on this blog and I hope you are all up for some major openness from me. If you don't want to talk about sex do not read any further. If you are okay with discussing... read on.

You're still here? Okay, don't say I didn't warn you.

Hubby and I are coming up on anniversary #10! WOOHOO! (I'm doing the happy dance right now- it's making it hard to type). I have learned a lot about my desires vs. Hubby's desires over this time.

Since I was a virgin until my wedding night I didn't really know what to expect- other than the info I learned from those "maturation" videos in school and the REALLY awkward talks with BOTH mom and dad. Ya, Dad got in on the action too. Don't even go there!

So, since I didn't really have first-hand experience we just indulged in a lot of missionary style activities. It took a while for me to realize that there are other things to do, ways to do it and all that stuff. It has only been in about the last year that I have been very vocal with Hubby as to exactly what I like. I don't like certain parts to be neglected during sex and such. He told me openly where he likes me to kiss him (on his neck under his ear). Good things to know. I just wish we hadn't waited so long to be more open.

It has totally improved our intimacy/sex/whatever you want to call it. Do you openly ask for things? Have you always been comfortable with talking about sex with each other? I want a good discussion going here, so I am hoping to break the record for comments on this blog. Come on people. Get in on the action... I mean the discussion.

How the word Amaze became something MORE than just a word...

*** I edited out the previous story of why I wrote this post. It isn't necessary to the post. If you would like to read it, you can go HERE.

I remember words and phrases because of how they made me feel. Those words or phrases once ordinary, become something extraordinary and special just to me, and between him and I.

One example of this is the word AMAZE.

When my guy and I were dating it was long distance 95% of our pre-marriage relationship. During that time we had a lot of "incredible" weekends together.

There was never enough time, it was always hard when we parted, and we always had a date set for when we would see each other again. This was also pre-cell phone, so when we parted ways, we parted ways. No texting, no calling on the road, No TWITTER to chronicle our new found love!

It was horrible.

I would get a phone call, usually that night, to tell me he was home and safe so that I could go to bed.

Well one particular weekend it was to late to call, or I had missed his call and had fallen asleep, either way, I woke up the next morning frantic that I hadn't heard from him.

I called his work immediately. It was Monday morning.

MSM: "Hey, I got in so late I decided not to call and wake your whole house up."

Me: "Don't do that again. I don't care who you wake up, even if it's ME, please call when you make it back so I know you're safe, I'd tell you I can't sleep until you call, but then you would know I lie!"

MSM: Laughing he says, "Okay. You want to know something?"

Me: "Yea, what?"

MSM: "You amaze me. Really you do. The whole way home while I was driving, I couldn't stop thinking how amazing you are, and the coolest thing about you is you have NO IDEA...I don't know, I'm just...amazed."

You have to know, My Guy doesn't share his feelings, he doesn't like to say or even write a lot of "mushy" stuff, not that he doesn't feel it, he just says he feels awkward expressing it. So anything sensitive or sentimental pretty much puts me on cloud nine for WEEKS because they are so rare! :)

So that moment is etched in my mind. It really meant something. It was his way of telling me he cared for me beyond a casual fling.

I still can remember the chills and delicious feelings that washed over me as he said those words, that word... amaze.

And to this day I can't hear it or say it without thinking about that phone call.

I claimed it OUR word, kinda like our I LOVE YOU word without saying I LOVE YOU.

Words are powerful things. The feelings that they invoke are AMAZING, yet there is also the flip side to this, they can also bring about negativity and disaster.

So in your relationship now or in relationships past, what is that WORD or PHRASE that brought about a monumental moment or change? Why was it special or why was it monumental?

And guys that trudged through this post... do words or phrases even hold special meaning to you? Can words or phrases bring about monumental change when you think with the logical side of your brain? (that's a good interview question for my guy-hmmmm)

Feel free to share the good or the bad.

Mine was good because I am feeling all HIGH on my guy coming to the airport for me, and I'll be riding this train for awhile... but there have been plenty of the opposite in our 10 1/2 years of being together.

Okay, I'll be around today so I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say! :)

Love,

Pictures of the Past

As I prepare to move in a few weeks I’ve been going through drawers and boxes and things trying to consolidate what’s going where.  Junk pile or keep for the most part.  While doing this I came across some old pictures from about ten years ago…from a different life. 

Pictures of a previous relationship.

I’ve simply forgotten that they’ve been buried amongst other things and I haven’t ever taken the proper time to go through everything to find them.  Now that I have found them I don’t know what to do with them.

Should I keep them?

Should I throw them away?

It seems wrong I suppose to just toss them out.  After all if I hadn’t had that previous life I wouldn’t be in the one I have now.  I don’t keep the pictures to hold onto the past I don’t want to know what this other persons life is like now.  I simply never bothered to get rid of them.

Do you keep pictures or mementos from your past relationships?  How does your current partner feel about that?  Should I throw them out or keep them?  Which memories are worth saving?

Fun Stuff Together

Because we all know there is more to marriage besides sex….. lol ;o) How about some other fun ideas today.

My husband and I spend about 90% of our free time together. Seriously, if he isn’t working – we are together. We go out to eat every weekend, movies, spas, dirt bike riding, long drives… whatever each of us wants to do, we do it together. We do weekends away and long extended vacations. (Photo of us in Italy, Trevi Fountain.)

We don’t have any “couple" friends. The few couples we use to do things with long ago have all moved away, so there are just us. And really I like it that way.

So what I am thinking of today are ideas. What ideas do each of you have regarding spending time with your spouse? What do you love to do together? Or what do you wish you would do.... but just haven't put the importance of it because you need to find the time or babysitter or have to plan and save.

A fun thing we have done…. forever is Matt will jump up and put on his shoes, as I am sitting there, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Tuesday night, or a Sunday afternoon. He will get up and say “I don’t know about you, but I am going to go __________. That blank could be I am going to go get an ice cream cone, or going to a movie, or go take a walk. It ends with me jumping up and saying well, you’re not going without me. And off we go. Its fun, it’s spontaneous.


And yes it’s easier now that our kids are older.
But even when our kids were young, we knew our couple time was important, and we budgeted in babysitting, etc. We did trades with friends. His jumping up pretty much started as our oldest was around 12 or so and we wanted to start leaving the kids alone. So we would go out for just ice cream cone runs, just the two of us.

So I told you a few ideas on how we spend our time together, how do you spend your alone time? Let’s share some ideas of fun things to do with our mate. And I will add some more ideas as we comment.


Missty over at Life is Good