As I prepare to move in a few weeks I’ve been going through drawers and boxes and things trying to consolidate what’s going where. Junk pile or keep for the most part. While doing this I came across some old pictures from about ten years ago…from a different life.
Pictures of a previous relationship.
I’ve simply forgotten that they’ve been buried amongst other things and I haven’t ever taken the proper time to go through everything to find them. Now that I have found them I don’t know what to do with them.
Should I keep them?
Should I throw them away?
It seems wrong I suppose to just toss them out. After all if I hadn’t had that previous life I wouldn’t be in the one I have now. I don’t keep the pictures to hold onto the past I don’t want to know what this other persons life is like now. I simply never bothered to get rid of them.
Do you keep pictures or mementos from your past relationships? How does your current partner feel about that? Should I throw them out or keep them? Which memories are worth saving?
10 comments:
Since I am the compiler of "stuff" and the boxer and organizer- I have kept what little evidence exists of my prior life. My husband knows I did not spring from a rock and actually had quite a life before him, so there's no problem. Now, as to old diaries after I'm dead, I haven't decided what I want done yet. Depends on how shockable I think the kids are:).
My wife kept stuff for a long time, even after we got married, but I think that now all of the non-valuable stuff is gone (there's no sense in tossing diamond earrings because the gift-giver was an asshole).
I left a path of destruction in my relationship wake.
I live for photographs, so my relationships are heavily documented.
As long as the pictures are not being used as blackmail, I don't see anything wrong with keeping them. On the other hand, staring at them obsessively for hours can send the wrong signals to the present partner.
Anyone who goes through my pictures has a pretty good overview of my miscellaneous life, and I am pretty reluctant to give my girlfriend unlimited access to my hard drive.
I have my old photos in albums. I am a person that loves, loves photos! So yes, I have them and will keep them. Do I look at them? Hardly ever but they're there. I couldn't tell you the last time I looked at them (probably 4 yrs ago when we moved and I was going through things). Those photos represent a part of me at a different time. Now as far as gifts or other things, I don't think I have anything like that from a past relationship. Any gift that was given has been thrown out or donated.
Another thing....when I do happen to see those photos I think, "Damn! I'm one lucky woman to be with my man not these dumb asses!" :)
To be honest I didn't have past relationships that my husband would feel threatened by. He does however. I told him to keep the.. Its part of him, it help mold who he is. Its okay with me. So if it is okay with ur spouse and u want to keep them... Then I say do it!
(maybe he is on facebook. Scan the. And tag him! Ha! That would be funny... Hehe just saying...)
I am a photo person - but wasn't so much during the dating years...
I did have ONE photo that dredged up bad memories, so I cropped out the butt-head in the photo and kept the rest of us, now it just makes me smile.
I think it all depends on how you think about the photos, and of course what the man thinks about you thinking about them :). It's just a picture after all - and as long as the past is "history" it's no big.
It depends on the photo and memory behind it. I had some letters from men that I got rid of after I got married, but I didn't throw the photos out right away. Then a year ago when we were moving for a 3rd time I tossed many of the photos into the treash. I realized that I only looked at them when it came time to move, and every time I saw them I didn't feel happy. I chose to keep only a few that make me feel happy when I look at them
G - Depends how shockable the kids are, lol :) I like that one.
SciFiDad -I don't have any real stuff other than emails that were mixed in with a bunch of college papers and a few pictures. My ex wasn't much on gifts.
vailian - Blackmail and unlimited access? Maybe I should hop on the train to talk to your gf ;)
Cookie - I had found them in a photo envelope with a bunch of other pictures from kids I used to babysit to the college days. I don't think I want to throw them out (I did toss a bunch after we broke up). But we were engaged for nearly 6 months so it's a big part of my history to chuck you know?
Shelle - I will probably keep them. He was a big part of my life and it was mostly great memories until the end. I only find them when I'm cleaning (that doesn't happen often! lol)
T - I think I'm going to keep them. I know my hubby doesn't care. He's got an old gf in an actual album and it really doesn't bug me.
Kim - The ones that make me happy are from when the guy's mom remarried and made us a part of the wedding so it was a very happy event. Nothing bad about it.
We just gave my parents a digital picture frame, and I absolutely included a photo of me going to prom with my high school girlfriend! Yes, keeps those old pictures. They are a part of your life.
When I got married, I trashed my husbands photo album of him and all his ex's, and he wasnt too happy with me for a long time. But I got really jealous very easily and after asking him why he wanted to keep it, he too agreed that he didnt need it.
Fast forward to 7 years ago, when I was going through a box from highschool and realized that I hadnt thrown out any of my old pics or cards and letters from old boyfriends, my husband said he didnt care if i kept it or not, but the next day he started writing me random notes and sending me cards and eventually i threw out all the old stuff (I kept prom pics and some other pics from activities like youth conference) and started storing the new stuff!
I think shelles idea to facebook it, is funny!... Im not that brave yet, maybe in another 10 or so years for me!
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