I thought it was fairly obvious, considering that I was sitting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, with my eyes cast towards the TV that was powered on. Nonetheless, I offered her an answer:
“Watching Wrath of Kahn.”
“Why?” she asked rolling her eyes.
The fact that WonderWife™ needed to ask “why” illustrates the fundamental difference in our relationship. Yet for all of my geeky ways, she too has things that she is obsessive about. There are times when the roles are reversed and I’m the one telling her that I really don’t care how many different stitches her new serger makes or what kind of deal she got on fabric downtown. Knowing that she too, in her own way, is a geek enables me to absorb her constant taunts and questions about my hobbies. But it still remains that we don’t share the vast majority of our hobbies and interests.
All of this begs the question, what exactly are WonderWife™ and I doing together in the first place? How can two mismatched people forge a strong relationship? The answer lies in the one thing that we are both geeky about—food.
One day WonderWife™ and I were doing the family thing at a park across town as lunchtime was approaching. Since I was hungry, I knew the kids and WW™ would be also.
“You know what I was thinking?” I asked WW™.
“That we’re close to that restaurant we saw on Food Network with the breakfast pizza?” She replied.
A smile crept across my face and the plan was set into motion. We loaded up the kids and were soon wolfing down the dish we had seen on TV a few days earlier, glowing with the new-found discovery that eggs on pizza is a winning combination.
This is why we work well together. Food is the bond that holds us. We love to cook it. We constantly read about it. We watch how it’s made on TV. There is nothing that makes us happier than to bask in each other’s company inside a darkened restaurant, savoring an excellent meal.
Early in our relationship, WonderWife™ made me one of her specialties, an excellent pan-fried chicken breast. I returned the favor a few days later by treating her to my “famous” red sauce. One day in the kitchen, we had a “chocolate in my peanut butter” brainstorm. We poured the sauce over the chicken and the result was a sublime meal that was greater than the sum of its parts. Sure, adding sauce to chicken wasn’t a culinary breakthrough, but that simple dish had taught us that we clicked in the kitchen. The rest has become well blogged about history.
Though we consider ourselves foodies, having kids and no family within 2000 miles has limited our ability to eat out, and our busy lives means that we’re often cooking meals for the youngest members of our gang more than for ourselves. But our passion for good food and cooking remains the glue that keeps us stuck to each other. Thankfully, our kids share this love as well and are willing to explore with us. Weekends often include trips to farmers markets or breakfast experiments like confetti pancakes or chocolate milk French toast (both WonderWife™’s creations, by the way).
It’s easy to focus on the differences, as I often do, but in every relationship there needs to be some common ground. Otherwise, we become two separate people living under one roof. So no matter how divergent our tastes and hobbies become, WonderWife™ and I can always sack out on the couch with some wine and watch Food Network. Because really, what’s the point of being geeky if you can’t be geeky with the one you love?
What hobbies, interests, passions do you share with your partner?
Many thanks to the illustrious ZenMom for asking me to contribute to this topic. And shout outs to Shelle for the great new format of the site!