Monday, September 14, 2009

Sometimes, I wonder

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to run into him somewhere.
A chance encounter at the store, on the street, in a coffee shop.

Would we greet each other warmly, sitting down to chat like old friends about our new lives? Or would we offer smiles that don't reach our eyes and exchange uncomfortable small talk before going our separate ways?

Would we share pictures of our spouses and kids? Or would we just share a private, nostalgic look as we pass?

Would I see the passionate young man, in the middle-aged stranger in front of me? Would he see the care-free girl in the mother of two?

Would his smile still make my stomach do flips? Would he flirt and bring up old times?

Would my cheeks burn at the flood of memories? Would his eyes sparkle at my blush? Would mine brim with tears when the moment was past?

I love my husband, my children, my life.
I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

But, sometimes, I wonder.

20 comments:

thecheekofgod said...

Interesting post.

I married the first woman that truly fell in love with me, but before her, there was a friend who I loved very much. It wasn't reciprocated, and time passed.

I don't regret a moment with my wife. But I sometimes wonder how things would be different . . .

SciFi Dad said...

I added mine (two of them) as friends on Facebook, so I know they're doing well and happy, which is all I could hope for.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I hear you. We moved to the same area where my ex-fiance lives. Not the exact same suburb but his (last I know) is about five minutes away. There is a chance I could run into him and his wife at the grocery or Home Depot. I would probably run the other way though.

I hope he's happy but to see him again would be slightly unnerving.

April said...

I added mine on face book. We have sent a couple of emails back and forth. But, time moves on. People change. I now can't imagine myself with anyone but my husband.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I wonder because it's human. But I also KNOW that my husband is one pretty cool guy and definitely deals with me where the others probably wouldn't have!

But its normal to wonder and see what he they would see you as now!?

Great post girl! :)

Danielle said...

This reminds me of that Garth Brooks song.
Unanswered Prayers

Missty said...

I don't ever wonder. I know I have the best thing right here with me. BUT we have ran into one or two of my dh past girlfriends from years ago. LOL Pretty funny! To see the reactions, etc. Then to realize...yeah my husband did good. hehe

Great post.

ZenMom said...

Cheek: I thinks it's human nature to think back on our youth and wonder about the decisions - our own and others' - that brought us to where we are.

SFD: Since I first wrote this, I've actually reconnected with an old love via Facebook. It's a nice, warm-fuzzy feeling to be able to be friends with someone from your past. I feel lucky to have that. And, as you say, it makes me happy to see that he is happy, too.

Andrea: That's what started this train - a random thought of, "oh wow, how freaky would be it be to just accidentally bump into him one day. I would probably be all stammery and speechless. Afterwards, of course, I would think of 10 brilliant, charming things I could have said. ;)

April: I agree. The reminiscing is nice. But I would never trade what I have for what might have been.

Shelle: I have to admit, that my ego is definitely involved in that thought process - How would he see ME now? How would we relate to each other? I'm not the same person I was then - in so many ways.

Danielle: And another Garth Brooks song: "Every Now And Then".

Missty: You know what's funny? We live not far from where my husband grew up and we've never accidentally run into any ex-girlfriends. Though one did email him one time. I know it would not bother me, though. Because, as you know, knowing that you have the right and perfect partner is a powerful, wonderful thing.

T said...

Yeah, I've done this too. I would think its normal but not many will admit to it.

Great post.

Youngblood4ever said...

Yes, I definitely wonder!

I'm human. I have checked up on a couple from time to time and always I am so grateful I am not still with them. But I wonder about seeing them in person. What would it be like.

Thanks!

Southern Sage said...

I'd flirt and put her on the spot!

Hubman said...

Veronica and I met when she was 18 and I was 20. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if she never came into my life. But I'm REALLY happy not knowing!

Chief said...

I actually ran into my first love when I was 9 months pregnant with my 2nd child. I looked terrible and we were at the swimming pool! I was in a suit! I was mortified and he actually pretended he didn't know me. I was so angry I could have kicked him in the crotch!


Yeah...yeah... I finally showed up in comments. don't know why I lurked here...I kinda felt like it was the "cool table" at lunch. am I cool enuff?

ZenMom said...

T and Youngblood: I agree. If you've had a strong connection with someone, it's only normal to wonder about where they are now.

Sage: Of course you would.

Hubman: Yeah, that's kind of how I feel. I wonder. But I'm really glad at how things worked out.

Chief: You just pull up a chair right here next to me, darlin'. Because you are SO one of the cool kids! :)

Anjeny said...

OMG Zenmom...you took the words right out of my mind. I have been wondering about this same thing too. I think it would be fun to run into him again just for the heck of it.

Thanks for sharing.

dadshouse said...

I ran into my high school girlfriend a few years back. Total chance encounter. We both had kids. She looked the same! It was great to catch up. We swapped email addresses, then drifted apart again...

Amber Lynae said...

I loved this post. I sometimes wonder too. Even though I'm quite happy with my husband and child.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I'm indifferent about running into them, but I know that my wife would seriously love to.

ZenMom said...

DGB: You really must elaborate on a statement like that. :P

Just Jules said...

not only do I wonder but I have googled, facebooked, but stopped short of stalking them.

Why not. It is natural to wonder what people from our past are up to now. Especially ones that were there during life changing times in our lives.

I too love my hubby and kids, and know I was meant to marry the man I did. But, wouldn't you like to see if they were now bald, fat and ugly ;)

WE BELONG