Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Birth Control Pill, for Men?

The female birth control pill has been around for almost 50 years, yet we're still waiting for a safe, effective, reversible option for men.

Why are we still waiting? Biology people, biology!

Ladies, how many eggs do you release each month? One, right?
(Yes, I know some women release more than one, hence fraternal twins, etc...)

So that's a pretty easy task, stopping one egg.

Gentlemen, any idea how many sperm you make?

Millions upon millions! A normal sperm count is 20 million per 1 milliliter of ejaculate.

That's a lot!!!

Which is why I'm not so sure that I would be willing to take a birth control pill. It seems to me that in order to work, it would have to somehow mess with testosterone production, which when you get down to it, is what really separates the men from the boys, so to speak.

I came across a survey that reported that 66% of men would use an alternative birth control method and that 75% of women would trust their partner to remember to take a pill every day. I'm calling B.S. on that! How many men answered that truthfully? We all want to appear to be considerate, willing to take the burden off you ladies! But in reality, I suspect the truth to be a lower number than that!

Now I'm certainly willing to do my part, don't get me wrong. Once Veronica and I decided we were done having kids, I happily went off to the urologist and got a vasectomy. Okay, maybe not happily, how about willingly?

Here's the best part- even though I readily agreed to allow a doctor to take a sharp instrument to my balls and sterilize me, permanently, Veronica is STILL on the pill. Apparently, when her hormones are left unregulated, she's less-than-pleasant to be around, and we're all better off with her on the pill.

Which really is why I wouldn't take a male birth control pill. It's for contraception only, while for women there are numerous secondary benefits. From Wikipedia:
The hormones in "the Pill" can be used to treat some medical conditions, such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, adenomyosis, anemia related to menstruation, and painful menstruation (dysmenorrhea). In addition, oral contraceptives are often prescribed as medication for mild or moderate acne.[91] The pill can also induce menstruation on a regular schedule for women bothered by irregular menstrual cycles and certain disorders where there is dysfunctional uterine bleeding. In addition, the Pill provides some protection against breast growth that are not cancer, ectopic pregnancy, and vaginal dryness, and painful intercourse related to menopause.
Okay guys, be honest, pretend the ladies aren't listening and tell me, would you take a birth control pill?

Ladies, would you trust your man? You're the one who would end up pregnant if he messed up.

Discussion in the Comments section, please!
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Some of you might recognize me as the husband of Veronica, from Another Suburban Mom. In the interest of full disclosure, I have a rather naughty blog, Hubman's Hangout. I regularly write about sex, post nekkid pictures (of myself, Veronica, and others), write sex toy reviews and erotica, and can generally be offensive. So don't say I didn't warn you before you visit. Veronica can be naughty on occasion, especially for Half-Nekkid Thursdays, but she's generally safer to visit than I am.

47 comments:

stupid smart girl said...

Great points, Hubman. I too am more than a little skeptical of the male pill's effectiveness, even if the pill were taken religiously. And although I do better off the pill than on, I do agree that some women seem to reap benefits from regular hormone supplementation.

Neither smart guy or myself have been willing to take any permanent measures to prevent more children. Maybe it's a religious thing for us. I personally have been unwilling to permanently give up the ability to have more children. Kind of a primal, female identity thing I guess. :shrug:

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Looking at the flip side, the side effects of the pill on women is higher than the good effects. I agree that the men should also have an option (a.k.a burden) whether or not they take contraceptives.

Hubman said...

SSG- for Veronica and I, at 38 & 36 yrs old and with 2 kids, we KNEW we were done making babies, so getting snipped was an easy decision for us.

WVW- I'm all for reversible birth control for men, just not for me ;-)

Another Suburban Mom said...

You know I felt really bad about having to go on the pill after your snippage, but you have to admit, the no period thing that the Yaz has done to me is totally worth it.

In the end, I would not be comfortable with a man taking a pill. At the end of the day, I am still the one who gets pregnant.

Maybe not progressive, but hey I can live with that.

Southern Sage said...

I wouldn't do it. Nor would I do the snipping!
I figure I might need some swimmers at some point. I'd never remember to take a pill daily.

She has never been bred unless she wanted to be (6 times) so I never understood the problem. We have never used anything.

I do the same thing every time and ask her (as well as every other chick before I was wed) "Where you want it" and thats where she gets it.

She decides.

David Edward said...

Yes I would take the birth pill and here is why.

Today’s male contraception consists of the condom, the timing, and vasectomy. The first two are highly unreliable and open to deliberate prevention by women. i.e. the condom can be pulled off by the vaginal sphincter muscle during intercourse, and forgotten or neglected altogether in ’spontaneous’ sex; and the timing is open to error and deceit.

The vasectomy consists of surgical mutilation with serious short and long term health implications, and it appears to me that it has been quietly abandoned by a medical profession anxious to avoid litigation. The main health implications consist of inflammation of the scrotum due to decomposition of the deposited semen, and due to this, a restriction in the regular milking of the prostrate, which is necessary because of the constant exposure and stimulation that all men receive from the pheromones of menstruating women. It is highly unlikely that a man can pass a single day without this exposure unless he lives a monk like existence! Thus the prostrate is constantly irritated by inflammation of un-discharged ’male milk’ (there appears to be no medical term for this - an indication of the disregard for male conditions) which increases the likelihood of eventual prostrate cancer... which is bad news for you hubman huh!

Thus at present there is no effective and practical male contraceptive.

ZenMom said...

I shared yesterday that I'm too much of a control freak to not take personal responsibility for my own fertility and contraception.

But, really, that is true regardless ofthe method we are talking about. I mean, whether we are talking about abstinence or a barrier method or a pill or a surgical procedure, my feelings would be the same.

I do think it's funny, though, that there's all this fuss about a "male pill" and what it will mean and how men with feel about it.

I mean, c'mon, we women have been doing this for *years*.

I think you raise very valid and interesting biological points, Hubman. But, honestly, I think the real hullaballo for many is not the biological issues, but the paradigm shift.

For a long time, contraception has been a predominately female concern and responsibility.

A male pill represents a shift in that responsibility. And a change like that could be a little scary for some men. Not just on a personal scale, but on a larger sociological one, as well.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Since I am the one who would end up pregnant {if I could have more....which I can't}, not hubby, I want to be in charge of that...it's my body and would not want to leave that in the hands of someone else.

Hubman said...

I have way too much to say to our new misogynistic friend so rather than attempt to debunk his nonsense here, I'll address it on my blog tomorrow.

I'll be back later (when I'm home and not commenting from my phone!) to respond to the rest of your comments.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I also agree with you in the point that I don't think I could give up full control and I would always wonder about the effectiveness of it from the very points you stated.

The thing is and why I complain about birth control at all is that it messes with my hormones and everything that comes with that. Pre birth control pill I was normal... but I take it because I want to make sure I control when I get pregnant.

And even then... we still have my guy pull out or wear a condom as a back up because I'm so paranoid.

But for the guy, it would be nice for him to have another choice if given it... and how cool as a female would that be if you were all caught up in the passion and he just says, "oh don't worry baby, I'm on the pill!" ;)

David Edward said...

Reply to Hubman

On your own blog, where you can block me - you coward!

Be a Man and do it here in front of everybody, where I can confront you with truth and facts.

David Edward said...

By the way here is a little joke for everyone to lighten the mood -

One old feminist woman said to another grimly “ I’ll not ave any bady for bastard men” (They’re Scots, like me) The other feminist replies “Aye lass, all that pushing and shoving, legs in the air, moaning and whimpering, the humiliation and shame,” The first continues bitterly “and the screaming, and wailing, aye, and ta think we do it all for love, and willingly too, more the fool us!”

Heard from an old quiet masculine Man sitting in the corner - “and that’s jist the insemination” Rapid exit by the outraged embittered old women.

Anon 1960s

David Edward said...

I bet my last two comments get deleted to protect the sensitive hubwoman.

This is soooo unfaaaaair!

David Edward said...

Reply to Shelle-BlokThoughts

If you are worried about the female pill and it's possible long term effects can I suggest the following -

Use the Catholic time and rhythm method, but back it up with urinary testing over ovulation where necessary and if fertilization has occurred use the morning after pill. Why don’t more women do this? After all you are only fertile over such a short time every month. I am completely at a loss as to why you do not do this.

Someone explain please (not hubman)

That is what I would do if I were a woman, although my dear departed (as in deceased) wife used the pill, with it’s health problems. The sooner we have a safe male pill the better!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I will say because most of the time I don't want to take the time to figure out in my mind if I'm okay or not to have sex at any given time.

Yes I could use the morning after pill I guess. But what if I didn't have them around... or what if I forgot to even take that?

I mean the birth control I have now is the lowest dose of hormones and I don't have to remember to take a pill everyday since I have an IUD...bonus though, I don't periods!!! WOOT WOOT!

Ya gotta give and take ya know?

But getting back to what you said, I'm to paranoid basically. But the morning after pill is a good back up. Being married I'd rather not have to worry about filling the prescription (can you get a prescription) since my guy likes to have sex morning and night most weeks on a daily basis, it would be a bother really! Try telling HIM when it's okay schedule wise for my body to have sex and be pretty sure we weren't going to conceive... :)

ZenMom said...

Reminds me of the old joke: What do you call people who use the rhythm method?

Parents.

Why don't more people use the rhythm method? Two reasons: 1) It's a pain in the ass. 2) It's relatively unreliable.

But, hey, if you want more "natural" contraception, you could always use the abstinence method.

Hubman said...

Sage- 6 kids? God bless ya man. Oh wait, no wonder you travel so much ;-)

Zen Mom- I understand what you're saying about a paradigm shift regarding responsibility and how some people might not be comfortable with that. For me, I'm just skeptical of the effectiveness balanced with 'acceptable' (to me) side effects

HB&GP- I suspect a number of women feel the same as you do.

Shelle- the last part of your comment "don't worry, I'm on the pill" reminds me of something that hasn't come up so far in the comments- what about STD prevention? An oral contraceptive (for men OR women) may be fine and dandy for birth control, but does nothing to prevent an STD.

You were normal once? ;-)

ZenMom- I love the abstinence joke!

David- No one is blocking your comments, I can't explain what happened there. While I'm an author on this blog, I don't have admin privileges, so I couldn't block comments from you if I wanted to, which I don't, or if I knew how to, which I don't!

My comments in response to your various comments today and yesterday are way to lengthy for a comment, which is why I'd rather respond on my blog tomorrow. That, and I feel that the discussion is getting a bit off the original topic (which I know that Shelle doesn't mind, but I rather not) of how men and women while relate to an previously-unavailable form of birth control.

I have no intention in blocking your comments, and I hope that you do read and comment there. You should know that Wordpress blogs automatically hold for moderation any comments from a 'new' IP address, so if you don't see any comments you leave right away, that's why. Not because I'm blocking you.

Momma Sunshine said...

I can't trust my man to take a multivitamin every day, let alone a birth control pill.

ZenMom: I used natural birth control for about a year (before deciding to get pregnant on purpose). I did the basal body temperature method, which, while being a pain in the ass, was completely reliable as long as we followed the rules (which we did). I know several other people who used it reliably for years. Again, it's a pain, but in some ways, very empowering to be that in touch with your body. :)

ZenMom said...

Momma Sunshine: You're right, I should clarify.

It's not the method per se that is unreliable - it is, like so many other things, more of a user-error than a method flaw.

It's a difficult method in that it requires a lot of work on the part of the user. I attribute it's higher failure rate to that. The science is sound. It's the human element that is fallible.

Even for women with "regular" cycles, it is a high-maintenance method.

Compounding that, you have many women who have "abnormal" cycles for whatever reason, making it that much more difficult to use the method effectively.

David Edward said...

Reply to Shelle-BlokThoughts

Yes I see - the timing is a problem which the pill avoids. Ah well that's another brilliant male solution to women's problem scotched. My wife was not that regular either.

Reply to hubman

Yes my main comments were clipped. But I prefer to confront the feminists theories with the feminist women so will pass up your challenge, but will read your blog with interest. No hard feelings here.

Another Suburban Mom said...

To David Edward:

I think you will find a nice group of 'feminist theorists' on Hubman's blog.

Enjoy!

ZenMom said...

Well, that just begs the question:

What is the "feminist theory" in this case? And, for that matter, what is a "feminist"?

And did you perhaps notice the theme of this blog - celebrating the opinions of both sides of the gender divide?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I WANT people to discuss this here. Why wait until tomorrow??? If someone has a question or discussion then we should address it here and now, since this post was meant for this blog.

So yea, I think it's dumb to halt discussion here so you can just have the discussion tomorrow on another blog, but whatever... who listens to me?

So we can't have "feminist theories" here on THIS blog we have to wait because Hubman has more feminist theories on HIS blog??? GAH! I can't tell you how annoying this all is to me... (deep breath)

ZenMom--Good point. David...can you explain??? :)

Hubman said...

Guess what Shelle? You can't control the blogosphere. Thought you would have realized that by now...

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

The problem is Hubman, I'm not trying to control anything... you are controlling this discussion by taking it away from here.

i am putting my opinion out there that I think it's lame.

The point of this blog is that people come talk about what there topic is on and the readers get to comment and discuss what they have read. Like our own little blog chat room.

I don't care that you write a post tomorrow on Male Birth Control and how much you don't agree with David... what I do care is that you are stopping the discussion here.

I KNOW I can't control it but I can voice my opinion on how much I hate it now can't I?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

All is well though.

Just in case everyone hasn't kept up.

Hubman will be writing a post tomorrow about what David Edward has brought up, check it out if you are curious.

David Edward said...

WWeds 16 Dec 2009

I checked out hubman's blog. Well written and interesting.

I feel a bit mean about my reaction to him, but I put my post on about the coming male pill and it's effect on men and women's relationships to get some feedback - useful and informative. I was provoked by hubman's abuse and responded, which I now regret.

But as a famous politician said - "I'll be back" - on this site.

David Edward

Hubman said...

David- I provoked you with abuse? I believe that you're the one who emailed Shelle, believing that I was blocking your comments and repeatedly attempted to insult me with your childish name calling. My original comment to you was inappropriate and stated so on my blog today.

So now you're likening yourself to The Terminator? You've gone from insulting to amusing...

I noticed that you no response to my criticisms of your comments. I guess Southern Sage isn't the only one capable of using facts to formulate an bulletproof argument ;-)

Hubman said...

So Shelle, are you happy? The discussion continues here. Isn't that grand?

thecheekofgod said...

Speaking of blocking/removing comments . . . that last one needs to go.

My wife started on the pill when we were first married, but quickly realized they were not for her. When she developed a rather serious blood clot, she went off of them. Fortunately, this was about the time we decided to start trying for kids. After three kids, we thought about maybe getting the snip-snip done, but put it off. And along came #4. So the snip-snip happened . . .

I am sure that there are plenty of couples for whom having the male take a pill would be a good thing. They will have thought it through and made the decision to take responsibility. But I also fear that there are far too many men either too lazy to take it, or simply ignorant about the whole deal and would never consider it.

Sad, but true . . .

Hubman said...

I think you and your wifes experience nicely illustrates how individual the decision to use birth control (or not) can be.

I find your suggestion that my last comment should be removed curious. Why? It's nothing more than a little playful sarcasm directed Shelle's way, based on an off-line chat she and I had last night. I'm sure she gets it.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

David-I would expect nothing less of Hubman's post. I hope you do come back and thanks for the honest comment, I'm sure you expected better feed back, as would I...sometimes it's hit and miss here...I hope that you do come back and next time we get more feedback :)

Brian-I have a friend that had the same thing. So she couldn't take a birth control pill, I know that SHE and her husband would be completely open to the birth control pill idea :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Birth Control Pill idea FOR men!!! Is what I meant. :)

Just Jules said...

Oh man. wow - I am gone yesterday and look what i missed.

My opinion is this - I am afraid that the male would forget. Plain and simple. I used to forget more than remember when I was on the pill.

I refuse to use the morning after pill - because in my mind that is aborting a baby if there is one there (this is how I was brought up).

I as an unmarried person (if I was) wouldn't trust a man when he said he was 'on the pill' easy answer just to get sex.

Southern Sage said...

Hubs- no @ 6 kids, she has been bred 6 or 7 times. Only 2 kids though the rest were miscarries.

Anonymous said...

Pill? Who needs a pill, all I need is money money MONEY to pay for loads of babies!

Ode to Women -

Oh baby what I couldn't doooo
With plenty of money and youuuuu

In spite of the worry that money brings


Just a little filthy lucer buys a lot things

and I could take you to places you’d like to go
but outside of that I’ve no use for dough

It’s the root of all evil, of strife and upheaval
But I’m certain honey, that life could sunny

With plenty of money and you.

David Edward

ps hubs - I'll get round to your feedback to my comment soon as I can - on this thread. Some useful info there.

Anonymous said...

PS - reason for ‘Anonymous’

I’ve taken my Google account out as my sites on there have crashed, so I will have to open a new account and rebuild them. It happen when Google ‘migrated’ the sites from ‘page creator’ to ‘sites’. I think I have too many pictures for the new memory allowance.

But hey, you don’t want to read all this.

David Edward

Anonymous said...

David Edward

Hubman - I've just read through the replies to your comment about me on your blog, I note the panicky urge by the pathetic Fems to block my articles - and the alarming facts and truth, and the mindless personal abuse with no justification at all which I strongly resent. This is pure rubbish - and very disappointing. I don’t think you or your supporters are up to understanding what I wrote. You also seem to have written some yourself. I have clearly overestimated you.

I am not going to explain what is already obvious in my arguments - I don’t think that you or your fem mates are up to understanding them, as indicated by the simple minded misinterpretation of my English that is written to a unusually clear level, and your wild accusations have more in keeping with a female feminists of the more ignorant kind.

If you do want me to explain then you MUST justify your accusation by coping and pasting THE STATEMENT I MADE THAT SUPPORTS YOUR ACCUSATION and do it on an impartial site where you have no power to block the facts and truth.

As a final note your foul mouthed language and personal abuse would get you immediately deleted on a British publication. Foul language is not a sign of strength, it is a sign of ignorance and weakness; and an attempt to shout down the truth, in a cowardly way.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Hey David.

Could you email me?

Shelle

blokthoughts@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately not - I regret that I am as per my comment of -

December 16, 2009 3:03 PM

If you would rather that I left this thread just say so and I will, no hard feeling here.

David Edward

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

NO I don't.

I just had a question for you.

I think I understand what you are saying.

But clarify for me. Are you saying that when a man forces himself upon a woman that SHE is to blame?

I got from your first comment that you were saying that the legal system would have to make some changes so that it wasn't as easy for a guy to be blamed for rape when the girl was as much to blame in an incident that the guy was (consensual sex or something similar to that)

I could have been way off base and would just like to know is all

Shelle

Hubman said...

David Edward,
Oh, I see now, you consider yourself my intellectual superior, so rather than attempt to answer my challenges to you, you resort to petty name-calling.

The only name-calling I engaged in was my original "misogynist asshole" comment, for which I apologized on my blog today. YOU have continue that pettiness.

I would have been censored by the British? Well then God Bless the USA and freedom of speech!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It is past mid-night and I am tired, so a quick answer, then no more.

"The most powerful of the British feminist weapons - the wild and malicious accusations of ‘rape’ and ‘child sex’ - will have to be brought back under civilized law where the accuser will be required to have hard evidence and be held responsible for their actions, both in the making of the accusation, and their part in the incident. The male sex drive is an extremely powerful force, and a woman who provokes it to the point where a man loses his self-control has only herself to blame. The accused will have to be considered innocent until - and if - proven guilty."

Para 3 expansion

In SOME cases of rape the woman has provided provocation and in these cases this use to be taken into account as mitigating circumstances. But no more. This needs to be addressed. In the case where the provocation has resulted in the loss of the man’s self control then she only has herself to blame, especially where the man clearly has problems, such as a mental retard. However this is only in a very small number of total rapes. I shall more clearly justify this in a couple of paragraphs.

In France there use to be a definition of ‘crime of passion’ where if it was judged that a man or woman had been driven through passion to murder then they were not condemned. There are different circumstances for rape just as there are for murder.

I do not see how a normal person can find fault with this - or how the SOME has been converted to ALL.

So to answer your question, “Are you saying that when a man forces himself upon a woman that SHE is to blame?” I would reply, I was not describing the Universal case- as in ‘all’, I was describing the Particular case - as in ‘some’. so it is unlikely but maybe. i.e.

So that if he forces himself then no, it is he who is to blame

but if he himself had lost control and was no longer responsible (a retard perhaps or other problems) then it is neither he or she who is to blame

but if he had lost control (again a retard or other problems) as a direct result of her actions, deliberate (or unintentional) then it is she (ALTHOUGH SHE MAY NOT HAVE MEANT TOO)

So what I am saying is that trying to judge a crime without knowing the circumstances is not an accurate way to judge. But many tried to do just this.

To assume that in all rapes that all women are blameless is, I would have thought, obviously inaccurate, just as to say that in all rapes, when a man forces himself upon a woman, that she is to blame is so obviously ludicrous that I would not have believe it would be necessary to state it.

I think the fems here are manufacturing wild and false accusations to discredit me as they do not like what I say. Or possibly the arguments are so far above their capacity for understanding that they are unabel to ummm - it is 0055hrs and I am too tired to continue.

Thanks for the feed back, I shall keep this for future reference, but rewrite to make it clearer.

David Edward

ZenMom said...

Shelle, this is your blog, and you can do as you want, of course, but I, personally, cannot abide trolls and will not be participating in any further "conversations" attended by "David". I'd advise others to do the same, but you all can choose for yourselves. For me, life is too short to engage with stupid people.
Best, Zen

Anonymous said...

David Edward

Reply to hubwoman

"I would have been censored by the British? Well then God Bless the USA and freedom of speech!!!!!!!"

In view of ZenMom attempt to censor me and hubwoman blocking me off his blog the word that springs to mind is HYPOCROCY, an ugly word I know, closely associated with fems.

I strongly resent ZenMom calling ME stupid, which, when you think about it, is quite funny.

Hubman said...

As I repeatedly told you, you are NOT blocked off of my blog and are most welcome to comment.

And it's "hypocrisy" not "hypocrocy"...

stupid smart girl said...

I have only two words for the people who are bickering in this thread.

Grow. Up.

You are embarrassing yourselves.

Ok, make that six words.

:Turns to the gathering crowds: Time to move on folks. Nothing new to see here.

WE BELONG