Monday, December 14, 2009

The Man Pill

As a woman, the idea of a male birth control pill sounds appealing. How nice would it be to dispense with the condoms, gels, diaphrams, etc. and their distracting shortcomings (and less than stellar prophylactic performance), as well as not have to deal with the hormonal effects of the pill/patch/shot/implant. How freeing it would be to hand over the daily necessity of taking a pill to my man. Let him deal with the hassle of going to the clinic every three months for his hormone shot. And best of all, sit back and watch him experience the emotional roller-coaster that is one of hormone therapy's several gifts. It would all be rather validating I think.



But.



If my partner is on hormones, I may still have to deal with the fallout. What would I do if my guy burst into tears over being reminded (again) to put the seat down, or turned all moody and passive aggressive when my mother comes to town? And what if he forgets to take his pill or postpones that visit to the clinic for his shot? I'm not so sure I'm willing to give up control over my reproductive powers to a guy who can't even remember to put the toothpaste back in the medicine cabinet.



Maybe in 10 or 15 years, after the first wave of unofficial guinea pigs have tested it and the long term effects are known, I might change my mind. But by then I'll be out of my childbearing years anyway, so it won't matter.



For now, I'll be keeping my IUD, thank you very much.



Stupid Smart Girl

21 comments:

Hubman said...

I think you raise a good point about control- it's the woman who would end up pregnant if the guy eff's up. How many women are that trusting?

I hope y'all come back tomorrow to read my take on the topic!

Good post SSG!

Alex said...

I am NOT trusting enough to have a man take birth control pills. However, I don't have to worry about it ... my husband had a vasectomy. And if the vasectomy reverses ... then I believe that will be Fate or God at work.

Southern Sage said...

I would never remember!!!

LOL @ bursts into tears!
haaaaaaaaaa

The bride has never taken any, before I was wed I did the protecting (condoms) but since I just ummmmm make the deposit somewhere other than fertile ground.

ShellSpann said...

I'm with you, I'll keep mu IUD. I don't need an emotional mess of a man :) LOL

ZenMom said...

Hi, My Name is Zen and I'm a control-freak.

All together now: "Hi Zen."

So, I think you can guess my take on this subject. I don't need to worry about this anymore, as we've gone a more permanent route of contraception - excuse me a moment while I do a Snoopy dance of happiness - BUT, if I did, I would not want anyone else to be in control of my contraception.

As has been pointed out, the effect of failure is - like it or not - something that affects the woman more than the man.

If my partner wanted to take his own pill, too, more power to him, but I'm personally just too OCD to NOT take personal responsibility and control on this one.

Meagan said...

The pill isn't the only thing that causes women's hormones to fluctuate. So then we would probably both be having mood swings. I would also feel like I would have to remind him all the time. I'm too much of a control freak to let go of the birth control.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Darn u for bringing up the good point of not being in control, that is totally true! Dang it! When we first were married he wanted a bunch of kids and me not so much...so yea, if he was over birth control I'm sure he would have conveniently forgot!

For me though, who cares about the fall out!? I'll do what he does to me and tel me to GET oVER it or "I'll just leave u alone until ur normal again"

Payback and all of that :)

I have the IUD also so it's all good. But if I could get off birth control and get my hormones and back and my roller coaster weight back to pre-birth control and have my husband do birth control so we didn't have to worry about crappy condoms or pulling out...that'd be sweet! :)

Great post!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I would TOTALLY remember to take a pill or make an appointment to get a shot. If it were up to me to make sure my partner didn't get pregnant...you can be sure that it would get done!

I don't totally buy the excuse that guys will forget. Maybe some will. But I bet some women do too. But a lot of us, I'm betting, will do what it takes to make sure there's no unplanned babies.

Danielle said...

Ok, but us single moms would never again be accused of trapping a man if he could protect himself. I think it is great.
I am protected, he is protected, wouldn't you like to be protected too!!!

T said...

oh, let me count the many ways I am grateful for that tiny little snip I had done during my last C-section... no more stress about who is taking care of it!

David Edward said...

Let's have some reality here shall we -


The male pill is on it’s way, and will be with us in less than 5 years, if not from the US or Britain, then from China and India.

The pill for men will be the biggest step for freedom that men have ever had - freedom from the serfdom imposed by fatherhood. So if the present tyrannical feminist British women want their babies, they will have to offer a far better deal to men than at present.

For example -

1
The present marriage laws, and the infamous and secret ‘family courts’ will have to go, and quickly, and the dictatorial marriage and ‘common law’ marriage expectations drastically changed.
2
The constant demeaning of masculinity, particularly on TV in programs such as ‘One Foot in the Grave’, ‘Men Behaving Badly’ and the present ‘soaps’ in general, where men habitually behave in an infantile manner, and are presented in an appalling way, will have to be recognised as highly offensive to men, and dispensed with.
3
The most powerful of the British feminist weapons - the wild and malicious accusations of ‘rape’ and ‘child sex’ - will have to be brought back under civilized law where the accuser will be required to have hard evidence and be held responsible for their actions, both in the making of the accusation, and their part in the incident. The male sex drive is an extremely powerful force, and a woman who provokes it to the point where a man loses his self-control has only herself to blame. The accused will have to be considered innocent until - and if - proven guilty.

Hubman said...

David Edward, are you fucking kidding me? Women provoke men beyond the point of self-control to rape them? So it's a woman's fault?

In general, you sure do put a lot of faith in the sociological effects of a male birth control pill.

We always enjoy new readers and commenters here, but I'd like to ask you, you misogynistic asshole, to go away and not return...

David Edward said...

Reply to Hubman (who is really Hubwomen)

Rape and Provocation

Thank you for your points to which I will endeavour to reply.

I believe we are debating two different things here. You are describing the emotional – the desire for power – motivations of the rapist who rapes as a control and domination technique.

I put forward the argument that men have a very strong sex drive – as in an evolutionary instinct – that is able to over-ride their rationality and self control; as many women know. I agree that the sex drive is dominant, but it dominates the male if he is provoked beyond a certain point, and he loses his ability to control and suppress his powerful sex drive, which is a natural instinct never meant to be suppressed. Quite the opposite.

Mating Rape -
The provocation can be unintentional by a woman who is unaware of the strength of the male sex drive, who has formed a ‘mating’ relationship and is exuding menstruational pheromones and responds to her own powerful maternal mating instinct by a sub-conscious mating display of facial and body language – together with her own natural sub-conscious desire, and has allowed herself to enter a situation where ‘mating’ may be expected to occur and the provocation causes the sex drive to become overwhelming for the male mate. I would expect such a woman to be young and inexperienced, clever and with a high sex drive herself – such as a college student.

Entrapment Rape -
But there is another sort of woman, lewd, of low morals, who dislikes men and enjoys sexually provoking them to a point where they are distressed, especially when they are young and vulnerable, who, in the pre-feminist age, were referred to contemptuously by men and women alike, as ‘cock teasers’. It is this sort of rape ’victim’ who caused the expression of ‘they ask for it, and sometimes, they get it’.

Bully Rape -
I understand and fully support the totally unacceptability of rape as a cowering and subjugation – bully – technique, and support a harsh deterrent punish for this particularly disgusting crime.

Mitigating Circumstances –
But rape as an uncontrollable release of sex drive urge in response to provocation that has gone too far is another matter altogether, and these different types of rape should not be regard in the same way.

We can take the sexually out of the matter by considering a case where a man punches a woman. If he did so while in full control of himself out of a desire to bully and dominate her – with little by way of provocation – and does so regularly, then clearly his actions are unacceptable and to be corrected by a deterrent punishment.

But what of the case where a man is deliberately provoked by a malicious woman who misjudges and takes it to a point where he genuinely loses his ‘temper’ and self control? Where it is a single punch – much regretted as self control returns.

Hubman said...

David, you must feel oh-so-clever, coming up with that Hubwoman remark. Congratulations

Your thesis that men rape due to evolution borders on stupidity beyond belief.

I repeat my previous request- please, don't come back, I doubt you'll find a single sympathetic ear here. Go spew your garbage elsewhere...

thecheekofgod said...

David,

I think you've described the sex drive perfectly - for animals 1) with no ability to think beyond their natural urges and the consequent fulfillment of those desires, and 2) who are not held accountable for their actions.

Fortunately, most of us within the human species have both. It's a nice check and balance: we hold people accountable, so they suppress their "desires" for any sort of fulfillment that would lead to harm. And those who cannot control their desires and act out, find themselves in a heap of trouble.

You raise some interesting points, and argue them well, but you are clearly in a minority here. Talking about hypotheticals is the stuff of philosophy and ethics, but selling snake oil to the masses just makes you a huckster.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh Hello David-

Let me first just say. I like that you came here and had an opinion, a direct one and a strong one.

I was at first excited that you weren't anonymous. However, I'm highly disappointed that you don't have a profile or a blog yourself.

Either way. I think that you are right about the pill coming out regardless and that in some ways it will free up that innocent man that can be easily accused of rape.

I know of someone that was accused of molesting a family member, they never did, the family member was high off her kite and lied which was admitted and proven way later after she had ruined this guys life and career. So in that respect, I see what you are saying.

As a man not being able to control his urges??? Hmmm, I believe most men can and do-but because one lacks self control their self control or lack thereof can never be blamed on the person who was victimized because of weakness.

However, I do agree that mens sex drive IS huge for them. Is dominant and can even control their decision making skills, especially if combined with other body altering stimulants.

If you read Hubman at all you'd understand that they guy is fully male ;) I do however want you to come back if you have a desire to spew your opinion because I love a good debate :)--Name calling is just bad tactic though, knowledge and information to back up ones opinion always stands on its own.

Later David. And if you write somewhere or have an email we'd love for you to let us know cause just your name makes you basically anonymous!?

Southern Sage said...

I don't see how you guys disagree With ole Dave!
What great points! Sheeesh

Haven't y'all seen Slingblade? Yes that was David who was talking to BBT in the asylum.

stupid smart girl said...

Maybe the hormone manipulation of the male birth control pill will "fix" this wild and uncontrollable male sex drive David speaks of. If it works well enough, maybe rapists of all types could be forcefully medicated, thus removing their desire and/or ability to do harm. This pill is sounding better all the time!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hehehehehehe Nice point SSG! :)

ZenMom said...

You guuuuuyyysss! Why didn't anyone *tell* me we got our very own troll! That's so exciting! And he's soooo cute with his widdle pseudo-logical provocations.

Now remember the number one rule with trolls, all: If you feed them, they'll keep coming back for more. And before you know it, they're yours.

So, if we're going to keep this one, we really should be responsible owners and have him neutered and get him his shots.

Another Suburban Mom said...

Back to the topic. I think that my inner control freak would not be amenable to trusting a casual relationship to use the BCP as the only method.

Someone I am in a committed monogamous relationship? Absolutely!

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