At our house we have two bathrooms. A guest bathroom and the master bathroom.
Approximately 6 years ago, after living life as the only vah-jay-jay in a house full of penises for 10 years I decided it was time for segregation! (Rosa Parks can kiss my arse, I refuse to get my butt cheeks stuck to the toilet seat whether it's at the back of the bus or right up front!)
Case in point:
I remember watching my son spin in circles while he was relieving himself, spraying into the bathtub, trash can and all over the walls. When I screamed at him he looked at me like I had lost my mind! I went in to his dad to complain and sure enough, I was met with the same expression. This is where and when I drew the line in the sand.
Mommy is the master, therefore she gets the master bathroom. Anyone with a prostate will need to make their way down the hall to the guest bathroom.thank. you. very. much.
No more toilet seat hinges, caked with brown dried urine. No more falling into the toilet in the middle of the night. Gone was the visions of enormous poops left in the toilet or better yet, giant skid marks circling the bowl. (girls don't leave skid marks, right?)
I know you are wondering how I can get away with this. Well, it has been 6 years and I can honestly say, I have only peeked in that bathroom a handful of times since... (when company comes, I like to throw a gallon of bleach in and push it around with a stick). For all I know, there are piles of excrement on the floor. Don't worry, every week I send Duke in to clean it and I have decided if it is clean enough for him, then it is OK by me. What I don't know won't hurt me and the immunity the boys are developing from the filth is something scientists would pay big bucks to get their hands on.
My family doesn't have to deal with the "girly crap" all over the bathrooms either. I have an in-home salon that holds all of my "war paint" and hair doo-dads. My feminine supplies go in the trash can in MY bathroom and my toothbrush sits alone on the counter in MY bathroom.
I feel it is the least I deserve for putting up with all of the testosterone fueled looks of confusion on a daily basis ~wink~
I would love to hear what you have to say. I will do my best to answer each one of your comments, so talk to me people!
Chief(Hiding from the Kids)
P.S. I love having boys and I love my husband with all my black heart. I can't imagine life any other way. (I especially can't imagine life forced to sit in urine.)