Monday, December 21, 2009

Guess what was in MY TIFFANY box!

This is a great little Christmas story from a few years ago. Let me set the scene.
Now, I’m a snooper. I always have been and I probably always will be. I remember snooping through my parents closet one year before Christmas and finding a Timex computer (OK, I know I’m dating myself here, but anywhose) and my parents found out that I knew and they didn’t give it to us. They held off until Valentine’s Day!

I was living with my boyfriend at the time and my parents had just moved down to Florida. We were planning on going to visit them for the holidays so we decided to exchange our personal gifts to each other before we left so we didn’t have to travel with them there and back.
As I was going through my trunks of summer clothes so I could start packing, I noticed this
Tiffany blue box
And my mind went here:
Tiffany engagement ring
What girls heart wouldn’t go pitter patter at the thought of a Tiffany’s box sitting there. I didn’t own anything from Tiffany’s at the time. So I was super excited and immediately one thought came into my mind….he’s going to propose! I was so psyched! Plus I knew that his brother had bought his fiancé an engagement ring from Tiffany. So I knew that he would do the same thing.
So the night before we were leaving to head down to Florida I made plans to go out with my friends from work for a little Christmas cocktail hour. Said boyfriend wasn’t going, but he told me that I had better not get drunk because we were going to open our Christmas gifts when I got home. After he said that, I knew for reals that he was going to propose. He never cared before if I was drunk or not when I got home. This was finally it, it was going to happen.
I was giddy the entire happy hour and followed his instructions. I didn’t drink much and got home at a reasonable hour. He had all the gifts out waiting and we started our exchange.

Except, I didn’t see the Tiffany box.

We get through all the gifts and still nothing. Then he goes into the other room and gets it. I thought this was it, he was finally going to do it.

He walks over to me.

Looks me in the eye.

Says I love you.

And hands me the box.

I’m all shaky when I’m opening it.

The blue box.

The black velvety box inside.

The creaky noise those type of boxes make. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

I open it and find this….
Tiffany earrings
(Ok, they were white pearls...but these are totally them!)

I don’t wear a poker face well. At all.

I’m sure he could see the disappointment from a mile away.

And that bastard.

Good thing he didn’t propose, he didn’t know me at all. I am so not a pearl type of girl.

Anybody else have a similar experience??? What do you think?

Donna also writes over at HER blog The Bare Essentials.

28 comments:

ShellSpann said...

LOL!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Awww, so sorry for the disappointment :( - but that was funny.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Oh my how funny :)

Mountain Gal said...

LOL. I especially liked the line "Good thing he didn't propose...."

I'm a reformed snooper, but it wasn't caused by anything so dramatic.

One of my 5 brothers was far worse than I. He used to unwrap/re-wrap gifts under the tree to see what everyone was getting. He would say "I know what you're getting from so-and-so." Same brother used to try to sneak upstairs in the wee hours of Christmas to peek and guess what everyone was getting - and then tell us about it. It kind of took the fun out of it all. (Still love ya anyway bro)

Southern Sage said...

LOL
I read this on her blog this moaning!

TFF

David said...

"Anybody else have a similar experience??? "

Yes I did, but not from a Venus view - a Martian’s view.

Many years ago my young and attractive girlfriend and I wanted a baby. Only she wanted it after marriage while I wanted it before (just to make sure we could) I didn’t know she could get a pregnancy test kit for free and assumed that she’d be too shy to buy one (she was very modest - when I walked in to watch her in the shower she made me leave me and locked the door! - and she had a lovely figure)

So I thoughtfully brought one - it was in a pure white plain box, ever so nice and expensive looking, well it was - as a present and presented it happily to her, confident of her warm gratitude. We were young and very close by then and I had already proposed a couple of times to her delight and tender rejection - I think because she had not yet finished discussing me as a boy friend with her wide social circle of family and friends and any total stranger who would listen - so...

I walked over to her.

Looked her straight in the eye.

Said “I love you“.

And handed her the box.

She’s all shaky when she opens it.

She looked really excited and pleased, then opened the box, saw it was a pregnancy testing kit and look looked baffled. “What is this” she said in a tight voice. “A pregnancy testing kit” I replied, surprised; obvious, I thought, but smiled gently at her. “Oh, I see” she said smiling back, and proceeded to pull everything out of the box searching - I watched with growing confusion. “I can’t find it” she said, then proceeded to tear the box apart with her bare hands - such strength! - to my amazement!! (Never get into a real fight with her I decided) Eventually she completed her attack and with the entire kit in absolute ruin, asked ‘is there anything else in here apart from the testing kit?” “No” I replied, my mouth hanging slightly open in utter amazement. She pushed the box angrily into my hands, “Here take this, you’ll need it for your next girl friend!” and threw me out! “I thought you’d be pleeeeased” I protested pathetically as I was marched out the front door.

I only realized when I got back to my own home (parents) and recounted her inexplicable apparently insane behaviour that the possibility was advanced that she’d expected an engagement ring. It must have been my look of happy expectation when I handed it to her that did it.

I told the lads about it in the office the next day and they thought it was hilarious, mainly because of my crestfallen face and dejected demeanour. The women seem to regard me with scorn and contempt.

It was down hill all the way after that, so no marriage/baby - baby/marriage. Pity! I loved her ever so much.

Women eh! who can understand them?

Donna - that was a lovely comment, especially pics. More comments please. I’d follow your site but I fear it is going to become to racy for me - I have read the ‘Joy of Sex‘ ( which incidentally missed out the most important position and technique of all)

It is nearly 7.00 pm and I have done no work and am late for tea (poached eggs on wholemeal toast tonight - ummm, you can‘t beat masculine cooking) I might have a tomato with it too - then a cup of real British tea in front of the TV. Aint life grand.

I could really get into this Blogging. Off line now.

David Edward TF

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

I am now self modulating and have deleted my last comment as being insensitive.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

okay first off...bwahahahahhahaha at Donna! That was hilarious! Sad...sad...but hilarious. I never snooped, but I would have so been expecting that and been SOOOO let down.

Second of all...BWHAHAHAHAHAHA at David. (wiping tears) Good story guys...good story!

David said...

Shelle - you are as unfeeling as the lads in the office. : )

thecheekofgod said...

I never snooped. Never once grabbed a present that was perfectly wrapped and carefully tore into it to see what was under the paper.

Now, if someone was silly enough to leave a corner hanging loosely open, or put it in one of those bags and neglected the tissue paper covering, then a peek never hurt.

I like surprises, you see . . .

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

David- it's true...I'm heartless! But I blame u because of the way you wrote it!!! ;)

That was brilliant! :)

David said...

Ohhh Shelle, it was (false modesty follows here) nothing, nothing. Ahem. : )

P.S. Did you know that I am British in Inverness. Hence there is a time lapse between us. About six hours I think, so it is 9.30pm here and I think around 3.30pm in the US. Hence the odd hours I post at.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

You are British!? Are you serious!? I didn't pick up on that when you said you had to go for tea. Or when you mentioned the Brits a few times...or that you were Scottish! :) hehehehe

And I can't believe you wouldn't stay up to wait and post when the rest of us do here in the U.S. ... I mean sacrifice a little would ya! :P

Sarcasm: one of the many services I offer... Lol

Okay so I sorta kinda figured that out ;)

David said...

Yes I am Scottish British - a dark Scot.

I see from the times on the posts that the time difference is seven hours. So you are about to have your afternoon break at three while I am thinking about brushing my teeth and going to bed.

Oh Shelle, you’re so attractive and yet there could never be anything special between us could there.

I am thinking of writing an article on the art of British male tea making to try to wean you Yanks - um sorry, I mean Americans, off that unhealthy female coffee you all swill by the gallon. In the new year, and put it forward to you as a lead comment. You can reject it with no hard feelings, as a professional author I am well use to it.

Or I could start my own blog.

Off line and off to bed now.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

1) Serves you right for snooping.

2) Don't guys know never to give a gift in a box the size of a ring box unless there's actually a ring inside? Jeesh, that's Boyfriend 101.

David said...

As an interesting aside, there are two distinct types of people in Scotland. There is the red hair type, as per Rob Roy, and the dark haired type, as per Sean Connery (the original James Bond)

I am the Sean Connery type and share a number of characteristics. But how did the dark hair and eyes originate in Scotland - so far north?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Ah David David David--

I'm glad you clarified what Dark Scott meant. I was going somewhere totally different with that in my mind.

As for nothing going for us. It is no secret that I appreciate a man with an accent, which undoubtfully you have, the only thing or obstacle in our way might be that husband of mine. (call me)

Now the post idea you have that you will submit that you think I may reject... Go ahead, just keep in mind that this blog is about relationships so anything you write has to kind of go along with that... and an unhealthy relationship with your tea doesn't count... it has to be a relationship with another human being.

Now back to you comparing yourself to Sean Connery. I think I may be able to work with that. Are we talking the young Sean Connery or the, ummmm, well... more MATURE Sean Connery?

Get back to me on that ;)

David said...

Ahhh no, I have a very pale skin and dark eyes common in dark Scotts. In fact I am greatly admired in the gym as I am pale and athletic rather than brown and brawny (like the yanks um American gym type)

“the only thing or obstacle in our way might be that husband of mine. (call me)”

To judge by hutman’s (and others) blog I didn’t think Americans worried about that. We here in Britain look on in horror at the freedom of licentious Americans and cling to the safety of our TV soaps. The TV over here is outstanding compared to American and, due to our climate, has become the national obsession*. Most husbands and wives here don’t even like having sex with each other, let alone anyone else. Which reminds me of an old Brit joke - ‘my wife didn’t want sex before marriage, and she didn’t want it afterwards either’ - but enough of such a distasteful subject. : )

I’ll try to relate the tea making to a venus / mars theme - a challenge to me. Early in the new year.

Sean Connery? not as young as the young first James Bond but not nearly as old as the present one. Does that help? Note, I only have some of his characteristics, I am not as masculine, nor do I have his impressive eyebrows, or body hair, or dominance. I am not as heavily built either. I would put my picture on but don’t know how to do it on these blogs. It on my site thought so I will leave you now and get on with rebuilding it after Google trashed it in moving it.

Incidentally I put a comment on Donna’s blog asking what ‘WTF?’ meant, and to try out the pic facility, added a very sweet pic of a baby gorilla sitting on a woman’s lap - but she deleted it. Now why would she do that!? : ))

Women eh, who can understand them!

I am, your admiring fan,
David Edward.


*
The TV has been a disastrous distraction from reality for many years. In the time before TV it was books. A person who spent a lot of time reading was known as a ‘book worm’ or someone who did not know much about the realities of life or people.

Now we have TV worms, who know very little about the realities of life or people and whose social skills are so poor that the almost immediate reaction to any social problem is to resort to a violence that is unrestrained and without reason.

Booze - drunken brawling; ciggys - lung cancer; TV - dull wits and detachment from reality. They all should be banned.

The reason I write in such short paragraphs is because of the reduce attention span of today’s reader.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

David-lol (laughing out loud) you're a dork (I mean that in the most endearing way) you were asking what 'WTF' meant...hehehe

What picture facility are you talking about? And what WAS the monkey doing on that nice ladies lap...and most importantly what did the comment entail? I don't think Donna would have deleted the comment without good reason!?

Now...you have painted yourself as a pale scrawny middle aged man? You probably would get laughed out of a gym over here if you don't have a tan, that is why I try and avoid them and stick to free outdoor exercise...I'm as pale as pale can be, so I don't fit in either ;)

So the only thing I can tell you have going for you is your accent and your wit...better get your actual picture for me!

And I have been to England the T.V. Is not better, in my humble opinion, than our yank TV...but I wonder if you mean it's not as racy or if you mean better in quality in actors and actresses? Better how? Maybe the TV I was getting in my hotels is poorer than the regular TV put out there? What do you think on that?

It's about time you getting your own account!

But I will admit that I have a really short attention span so thanks for the short paragraphs... Oh Look sparkles! Gotta go! :)

David said...

'most importantly what did the comment entail?'

You have to think about it a bit.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Since I'm naïve to all naughty comments ;) I have no idea what you mean. But if I did...I'd say you were terrible and I don't blame her for deleting it!

David said...

"most importantly what did the comment entail?"

Nothing, just don't think about it. Forget it please. I regret putting it on. I don't think Donna is going to forgive me!

What does 'dork' mean anyway?

Off to brush my teeth ready for bed.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Donna probably shouldn't forgive you!!!

Dork means a ridiculous person, nerd, foolish... It is also slang for Penis but that is not the context I put it in :) hehehehe

David said...

Oh I seeee, right, well each one of my teeth has been carefully brushed - I had a filling not so long ago - so I am off to bed to watch the last bit of a film I recorded, 'Cheaper by the Dozen', read a little of James Herriot, and reflect on your exciting cruelty. Perhaps I should apologize to Donna.

Good night cruel heartless Stelle. Enjoy your afternoon tea break. Baked Men's hearts with coffee is it. I hope it chokes you !

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL @ you hope I choke on it... That was good.

What!? I said I meant it in the most endearing way!!! I call only the ones that makr me laugh the most a dork! It's a compliment in a twisted kind of way :)

Heck I'm the biggest Dork I know!!!

Have a nice sleep David!

Cheerio ;)

Jenny DB said...

So I take it you two aren't still together and happily married?

Jenny DB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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