Karma's Delicate Kick in the Butt

I had a tumultuous relationship with my college girlfriend. Not during our romance, but after. We were together for most of my junior year before I decided that I was ready to move on and unceremoniously dumped her. If that sounds harsh, it was. Although I was good with romance part of relationships, I was not so good with ending them.

Even though we broke up, our friendship lingered. We clung to each other because we didn’t really know what else to do. She still loved me and I wanted freedom, but didn’t really want to be alone. That’s how we ended up spending a rather uncomfortable drive across the country together. My fondest memory of that trip was driving through the breathtaking scenery of the Grand Canyon…fighting with her the entire time.

There were other incidents between us, which I won’t elaborate on here. Let’s just say that I didn’t treat her well. Most girls have a story or two about a guy who was a total jerk. I’m afraid this is how she will always think of me. In that regard, I guess I had it coming.

After graduation we had both moved out to California. Some time had gone by without any contact, when suddenly she called me. She said that she didn’t like where we had ended things (with her yelling at me for being a jerk) and she wanted to make it up to me. She had been taking some classes and her graduation was coming up. She told me it would mean a lot to her if I went. I told her that I would be honored.

She picked me up and drove me to a non-descript building out by the airport. She led me to a small, windowless conference room and rushed off backstage. Something felt off as I sat there in a stiff plastic chair in the middle of nowhere. When the ceremony started it quickly dawned on me that this was not the graduation ceremony of a continuing education course, it was a pyramid scheme disguised as a self-actualization course. I had been dragged to a sales pitch. And because she had driven me, I was stuck there. I was pissed.

That was the last time I saw her.

After the anger subsided, I felt bad for her. She’s a sweet girl but was not being approached by Mensa anytime soon. I can’t blame her for being sucked into something that was so obviously designed to lure suckers away from their wallets instead of truly helping them.

It was quiet as we crept our way through the traffic back home. I was silently seething but decided not to say anything and let it go. I had put this girl through enough crap over the years to realize that this was my karmic payback for the mistakes I had made with her.