Weight does affect my relationship. What do you think?

Wow... it's been a long time since the last time I posted.  Everything on Blogger is different and I hope this post even goes out!

I haven't been posting on this blog because I've been dealing with life and I took a very long break.  But I have a post in my heart and I feel like I'm probably not the only one that goes through this.  So I have decided to write it down and maybe it will reach someone out there.

I'm going to talk about weight.  Doesn't seem like it should be a relationship issue... but I think it is.  I have probably done EVERY diet in the book, what a cliche right?  How many times have you heard that exact line when someone writes about a weight loss success story?  Well this isn't that kind of post, at least not yet. I have yet to lose any weight, it seems like every time I try to lose weight I am successful a little bit, but then I'm right back where I started.  I have a major food addiction I think.  I'm not overly obese, but I LOVE food.  I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad or depressed, when I'm excited or bored.  I eat and I love tasty food.  Do I necessarily always feel good after I eat certain things?  No.  I sometimes feel horrible and sick and bloated and yucky.  Sometimes I feel happier, but it doesn't last for long.  Just like a drug addiction, I wait for the next short fix.

Having my belly issue affects my marriage because it affects my sex life.  We aren't remiss of sex, it's just that I don't always feel comfortable or sexy, and I hate that.  It's more intimate when I can let go and just enjoy the experience... but the minute I feel the jiggle or look down at the extra weight, I zone out and I don't connect with my husband like I should.  It's sad, and I know I have a few choices, do something about it, or change my way of thinking.

Maybe though, those things go hand in hand.  Maybe I need to do something about it AND change the way I think about myself?  The only thing is,  I'm scared.  I've failed SO many times that I'm afraid to let myself down again.  I have to make that lifestyle change not only for myself but for my relationship. 

My husband loves me, he always tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, but inside my mind it is so ugly that I can't help the depression that comes over me when I see the numbers on the scale or the reflection that stares back at me in the mirror and it frustrates my husband.  He doesn't like that I feel that way about myself and he doesn't know what to do about it.  He tells me he doesn't understand how I can see something so different than what he sees, yet I do.  And it affects how I am behind closed doors which affects him.

I am lucky that I have the relationship that I have, but my weight does make a difference and I WANT to be a success. 

So here is my accountability.  I am going on the Fat to Fit journey.  I am going to do the meal plans, continue with my exercise, take the pictures, take the measurements, and do it.  Day by day.  Inch by inch.  This isn't a new year's resolution.  It has to be a saving grace, it has to be a lifetime resolution.

I'm seeking any critique's, words of encouragement, kicks in the butt, or just thoughts. Am I alone in this?  Does anybody constantly constantly fail because they can't seem to hurdle over there own fears?

That is, if anybody even reads this blog anymore!

Shelle

Captured in a Relationship: It makes me happy...

"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." Marcus Tullius Cicero

Photo sent in by: NO BOTOX ALLOWED

This is a photo of me and Matthew, my son who died.

IT IS SPECIAL to me, cause it is the last photo I have of us together before he died.  It makes me happy.....it makes me sad.
He was a goof ball and I miss him terribly.

***If you would like to send in a picture for our Captured in a Relationship series... read HERE for info!

Captured in a Relationship

"Some people enter our lives and leave almost instantly. Others stay, can forge such an impression on our heart and soul, we are changed forever." - Author Unknown

I've taken a lot of time off.  I've been busy.  I almost shut this blog down completely, but for some reason I have just sat on it.   I love that most of you just stuck with me, continuing to keep me as a friend and keep me on your Google Readers.

I absolutely love and have loved reading about different relationships and you sharing your stories helping those of us open our minds and also. for some of us, getting through our own similar situations.  The good stories have been so good and something to shoot for in our relationships.  The bad and ugly... have been just that... bad and ugly--something to learn from and be a support for those that have needed it.

But I also have this photography obsession and my business has been keeping really busy... so I had to remember my priorities... but I have missed my friends here.

I came across this quote.  And for me it hit home for personal reasons... but it also gave me a fabulous idea to mix my love of photography and relationships.

So here is the scoop.  For at least the rest of the summer I would like to introduce "Captured in a Relationship".  

What I would like is for you, my friends, to send in pictures with only two people in them, and then a short excerpt of why that picture and/or relationship is important to you.  This picture can be a professional one or one you took with your cell phone--the trick is when you send it in to me you are pledging that the picture and those in it, are okay with it being posted.  So it was either taken by you or you are promising that you are approved to send it in.


Here is my own example... 

This picture is of my son and I.  I love that I can still be goofy with him so I cherish pictures like this because I know someday he might not be okay with this... someday he will be... a man.  I hope it never happens, but I know it might--so I cherish time with him and try to take a picture like this any time I can!

So what I need from you guys!

1. Start sending in pictures to blokthoughts@gmail.com, following the rules, and then let me know if you want me to link you up to your blog or website, or not--as always, it can be anonymous.  (Depending on how many I get... I will start posting AT LEAST one a day, hopefully, starting next week)

2. Let people know about it if you will :)

Also-- you are still welcome to send in "DEAR YOU" letters and any post you want to write about dealing with relationships.

Thanks!

Shelle

Down for now.

THIS SITE IS TEMPORARILY DOWN FOR CONSTRUCTION>>>

THanks for everyone who keeps with it and reading... I hope to come back better organized, more material, cool site and more fun.

You all are the best!

Shelle

So I am asking via Vlog...

I need help. So I'm going to ask.

Phone/No Phone Interviewer


Someones to help come up with topics.


He/Said She Said coordinator

Someone business savvy who can help me with offers coming in and to find a way to market the blog to help with giveaways...

Together we can be a team and take this to the next level!

Or I can shut it down... whichever :)

Thanks and let me know by email blokthoughts@gmail.com or comment

Relationships, infidelity, and The Secret Box

The Secret Box was such a success and I hope it helped some of you out there!

I had an experience this weekend that made me remember how fragile feelings are... how fickle relationships can be and how easily we can change our thoughts about people or how easily we can go from one thing to another by words exchanged.  It's crazy.

I wrote something about infidelity and one of my good friends wrote his opinion about what was said in the Secret Box... I have linked up to them if you are interested.  Happy Monday Everyone!

Saturday Scavenger Shots - Emotion and an opinion....
I wandered over to Mars vs Venus and read the anonymous comments in the Secret Box.

I tell ya, the comments about infidelity, swinging, and marriage regret really hit me. I'm not an expert, but this is what I think:

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything, but personal experience with infidelity has taught me a lot. Being the spouse that was cheated on gives me a different perspective than all but one of the commenters, it seems.

I'm seriously considering it...

You guys, I am so sorry... but I found something out about myself this weekend.

You may never read me again.

But I got an email and was approached about having a love affair... and the email was so eloquent and so convincing that I'm seriously considering it.

Please don't tell my husband if you know him or his email.


Shelle

Secret Box Round 1

I've realized something, of myself, and while talking to a friend. So in a few days or maybe tomorrow, I am going to post about how I need help. Sometimes when I ask for help, I feel like a failure--but again, talking to my friend, helped me realize that it's not about that, or me, even.

But for today...

We are going to have our first ever SECRET BOX!!!

I do this on my personal blog but have never done it on Real World. And since Real World is suppose to be a place where one should feel free to say what they really feel, I thought this would be the perfect place to HOST the Secret Box.

Here is what you do if you have never participated in one of these.

You tell a secret you have in comments. Most do it anonymously, but you can do or say it as yourself also. Those that have advice can come back and comment on your secret or their secret or what have you.

See I realize about myself that if I get the secret out of me that it no longer burdens me as much or at all. It makes it slightly easier to keep it or work through it or overcome it. You get what I mean?

So go at it friends. Tell your secret, get it off your chest. If you have a way to help someone else or can understand where they are coming from... stop back and let them know in comments.

Again, it can be anonymous our not.