Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Stay Flexible in your Approach

So I'm in the process of scheduling a bunch of guest contributors and the start of our New Regular Contributors along with fun games and other things to schedule with the blog.

In the meantime, this week will be all me.

I know... you're totally excited.

I'm a quote snob.  Love them.

So each post will be short, hopefully, and based off of a quote I found and thought would be fun to talk about with you guys.

Today's quote:

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”--Tom Robbins

How can that not be more true then in a relationship?

Image taken from HERE

You commit yourself to one person... for some, until death do you part, for others, forever, and the rest, you have committed in your heart and mind and soul.  You made a decision that the person you want to spend everyday with and share your most important moments with is that person you have committed yourself to.

But any relationship requires flexibility, does it not?  You go into any relationship, and especially it seems, marriage, with certain expectations.  You made your decision and you have these ideas of how things are going to be.  But any relationship takes at least two different ideas and perspectives... so without flexibility to compromise or change or adjust those expectations or ideas--that relationship will likely fail or be terribly rigid with that feeling of being closed in and stuck.

That is when people want out.  That is when people can't do it anymore. 

When someone made their decision but either they or the other party in the relationship wasn't flexible in their approach.

What do you guys say???  Do you agree?  Do you have anything to add?  Do you think I'm nuts?



Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

Tough one. If one or the other has given up and chooses not to be flexible...then they both lose.

You either both win or you both lose. One doesn't come out the winner.

TisforTonya said...

today I'm being flexible by not letting myself be pissy...

but that's probably not the best example...

I'll get back to you on that after I'm not being annoyed 'k?

Anonymous said...

What happens when there is baggage that builds up...

Inflexibility and the guilty party are a matter of perspective...I thought she was wrong...I am to biased to judge myself...

Closed in and stuck is absolutely correct...but what if you can't leave...choose not to leave...

What if you still lover her but are not attracted to her at all..not due to looks but due to baggage...personality...

What if things changed and she is the one who is pressuring you to change with her...ugh...

ilikewinter said...

Great post, chica. Very interesting perspective. I don't have much to add here other than you gotta stay flexible within bounds- like a rubberband. When you stretch too far, you snap. No good for anyone. Keep yourself true to who you are, but learn from the one you're with and try to see things from their view. Just make sure it's balanced.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

GOE-stated so perfectly stated, it's hard to stay together and it's hard not to, things aren't just always better when you are done with that person you once committed to.

Flexibility is almost a necessity!

T- girl!!! It's your birthday!? Why are you pissy? What's up? Sigh... Email me. Happy birthday girl!

Kenny- it just sounds like both of you are approaching the commitment with inflexibility. Does it matter where the blame originally lies? Somewhere along the line both parties become guilty and hold blame. If you choose NOT to leave, then you should choose to see how it can work again. Just my opinion.

Ilikewinter- what you said was perfect! Try to see things from their view... People like to jump right to victim--me included.

~DokterKenny said...

OH Yes...I Totally agree the more flexible the better!

UP said...

I am excited that this week is all you; I love you!

and I've not been flexible since prom night!


3GKnight said... can I be flexible in my decision to not be the first smart-ass to make some dumb comment about that last question?

Snooty Primadona said...

I've always said "I'm a tree & I can bend", which is perhaps why the hubby & I are still married after 33 years.

So, yes. Flexibility is a key ingredient to a long term relationship. But, love helps out a lot as well.

Besides, as we draw nearer to old age, it scares the daylights out of both of us to think about baring our souls to someone new, not to mention our bodies & their functions.

I think it also helps that we were married for 6 years before the onset of children. We've always been good friends & we've both learned to be Gumbys.


DCHY said...

I am the flexible one in the relationship and it's starting to take its toll on me because she's not being flexible.

With that said, it's really HARD to maintain a relationship when one partner does not demonstrate any flexibility necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.

Both partners must be aware of each other's wants and needs in order for the relationship to work.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

DokterKenny--you WOULD think that way. uh huh.

UP!!! lol! you and DokterKenny--shame on you! hehe

3GirlKnight-bring it... I'm a big girl! :)

SP-I hear ya... I'm still pretty young, but I still quiver at the thought of someone else seeing me naked--after my two kids and what they did to my perfect un stretch marked body--I have no desire for anyone to see the outcome of that war.

DCHY--Well start talking about the non flexibility right now! Don't let it get to the point where you feel trapped and want an out. talk talk talk!!!

~DokterKenny said...

Oh and for the record..why does it have to be one person? I am big fan of my new invention Plural Monogamy

nitebyrd said...

YES! Being flexible and open to new ideas and change is paramount in sustaining a relationship.