11 years...and still nothing to that at all

It's funny how life can be...fleeting...or fickle...or temperamental...or unblinkingly brutal - and yet you'd get down on your knees, no matter how messed up they are, and thank life (or whatever you believe in) for giving you a shot at happiness.

Before I met my wife in 1998, I was never able to maintain a relationship for more than few months at any time. Why couldn't I? Nothing seemed "comfortable" to me every time I ventured out into the tricky domain of dating and relationships. After a while, I was beginning to think that maybe I was the one with commitment issues.

When I met my wife the first time, nothing happened. No lightning bolt. No magic. No love at first sight. The Earth didn't crack. She was someone's girlfriend and I wasn't the type to mess around. I didn't really get to talk to her - just the introduction and I just moved on. Came across her in a bar few months later and I found out that she was single.

I came over to her, basically ignoring her friends with nothing more than a cursory greeting to each, and introduced myself. She smiled and said, "I remember who you are." That did stop me in my tracks and she had my attention. I chatted up with her a little and found out that she lived just 5 miles from where I participate in a dart league on Wednesdays. So, I asked her out and I gave her every chance to back out because this is a dart league but she kept assuring me that she would be happy to watch me compete.

She showed up like she said she would. After chatting with her for a while, I learned that the opposing team had not shown up and had to forfeit. This meant that I had more time to talk with her and boy, did I talk and talk and talk with her. The bar owner came by our table and informed us that it was time to close. That surprised me because I had lost track of time, so I turned to her and asked "Since everything else is closed for the night, what do we do?" She suggested that we go to her house and talk some more.

I finally left her house at 6:30 am, having chatted with her 11 hours straight and we agreed that I wouldn't return tonight or the next day so we each could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our loved ones. I came to her house at 7 pm on the 26th and left her house at 8:30 am the next day, having chatted with her for over 13 hours. That's mind-boggling 24 hours total on TWO dates.

She ended up moving in with me just 3 months later and proposed to me 2 months after that. I asked her about her "I remember you" remark few years later and she told me that when she met me the first time, she mentally took note of this tall guy with glasses because she found me to be very interesting. She had been curious about me ever since then.

We celebrate December 23rd every year as the date we started our lives together...and she is still curious about me.

Nolens Volens he also writes on his personal blog Welcome to My Secret Spot (Not Safe For Work)

Going Overboard for the Holidays Venus Style

Hubman does not go overboard for the holidays. He is the voice of reason. I usually do not go overboard for the holidays, but I could. Picture me with a Hubman on one shoulder as the angel, and me, but wearing a big bouffant hairdo and a 1950's christmas themed prom dress on the other shoulder as the devil.


Hubman and I have an agreement with gifts that has been working for us for many, many years. I shop for, select, wrap and mail all of the gifts for everyone all year long, and he does not complain about what I buy or how much I spend. We have a chat about price limits and I usually stick to it which adds to the harmony. Hubman buys my gifts, and then usually cards for me and his mother.

If the gift is something that really requires a second opinion or a large vehicle to transport it (like a bike) I bring him into it. Otherwise I just tell him later what I picked out.

My danger point for going overboard at Christmas is not shopping. I don't want to spoil my kids with tons of crap. I also don't want to have to deal with cleaning up and storing said crap. We do not have a big place and it does not take a lot for it to get cluttered enough for Hubman to start grinding his teeth.

Anyway, despite the minor exception with trying to get everyone on my list, the perfect, thoughtful gift, gifting is not where I tend to go overboard.

Its everything else. Christmas brings out my inner Martha Stewart. Once we get close to Thanksgiving I get this urge to make home made wreaths and topiaries! I want to wrap gifts in clever paper with bows made from recycled newspaper dyed with organic dyes! I want to have a tree in every room decorated with its own theme! I want to send a heartfelt Christmas card with a personalized letter to everyone I've ever known! I want to make 20 different kinds of cookies and candies to give as gifts and remember the postman, the paper boy, the crossing guard, the people in my office, and any random stranger who looks like they could use some sugar.

I want to watch every Christmas movie and special with the kids! I want to decorate my house with enough lights that it is visible from space. I want perfect family pictures with everyone, including the dog in matching sweaters.

However, eventually I put the magazine down and I hear the voice of Hubman in my head. "Sweetie", he says. "You are an awesome baker, but do you really have the time to bake 40 dozen cookies. Also, doing those roll out cookies always makes you crabby. " "Honey, remember how badly your burnt yourself on the hot glue gun when my mom let you try hers." And my favorite, "Honey, you know you don't like heights. You're really going to get up on the ladder for 3 hours to hang lights?"

Thank god for his voice in my head, otherwise I would probably have hot glued myself to the ladder while the kitchen goes on fire from my leaving cookies in the oven.

The only thing I might go a teensy bit overboard on is charity. I do 'adopt' two kids at Christmas through the Salvation Army that are close to the age of my kids and get them stuff. I put a dollar in every kettle I pass. I take my kids to they toy store and have them each pick out an item they like and drop in in the Toys for Tots box. I can't help it. My kids are so blessed in the fact that they have six doting grandparents, that it makes me want to ensure that as many people as possible have a Merry Christmas as well. An example of this is donating money towards the fundraiser mentioned at the top of this blog.

So ladies and gentlemen, which of you are the ones to go overboard? What do you go overboard on?

Just as a warning if you visit my blog today, I am half-nekkid. If that sort of thing offends you, I understand and respect that. However, if you can navigate through the nekkidness, you will find some fun, inexpensive gift ideas and lots of holiday recipes, including a treat exchange. If you want to learn more about the wonderful Hubman, you can visit him here, but I have to warn you that he is not usually safe for work.

Also, the very Handsome Southern Sage is taking Mars' position on this, so please stop by tomorrow and see what is on his mind.

So ladies and gentlemen, which of you are the ones to go overboard? What do you go overboard on?