I was looking at all of these proposals on YouTube and it just reminded me of that fun, lustful, goose bumpy feeling. Sometimes I'm embarrassed by open displays of affection, but there is just something about proposals...
I decided to switch it up for today...
This proposal by far tops the cake of both humor mixed in with some sweetness. These two are hilarious.
Have a good weekend ya'll!
Shelle
Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
I'll Pray For You, and You, and Yes You.
The first person that introduced me to this song was Just Jules and I loved and laughed so hard I played it over and over while I was cleaning my room.
A few weeks ago Blogging Mama Andrea sent it to me and told me I should post it, since it DOES deal with relationships!
Well I'm here for you, I listen...
And this is a very inspirational song... don't let it fool you... sometimes it's better to pray for those who do you wrong :)
Hope you guys have an incredible weekend to celebrate our wonderful country, The United States of America!
We will continue posting again on Tuesday with relationship things.
Just one post in between to honor the holiday! So until Tuesday... I'll pray for you ;)
Shelle
A few weeks ago Blogging Mama Andrea sent it to me and told me I should post it, since it DOES deal with relationships!
Well I'm here for you, I listen...
And this is a very inspirational song... don't let it fool you... sometimes it's better to pray for those who do you wrong :)
Hope you guys have an incredible weekend to celebrate our wonderful country, The United States of America!
We will continue posting again on Tuesday with relationship things.
Just one post in between to honor the holiday! So until Tuesday... I'll pray for you ;)
Shelle
Friday, May 28, 2010
And That's When The Fight Started...
Joke #1:
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
Joke#2:
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the fight started....
And that's when the fight started....
AND a FUNNY:
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was
sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of
the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance,
trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in
his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute, ' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply?
'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ' Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'
LOL--That was funny! :)
Everyone have a good Memorial Weekend!
Joke #3:
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silverhair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And that's when the fight started....
AND a FUNNY:
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was
sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of
the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance,
trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in
his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute, ' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply?
'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ' Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'
LOL--That was funny! :)
Everyone have a good Memorial Weekend!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Stats, funny
We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8".
My husband's Bible was lying on the dashboard & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.
Psalm 109:8
"May his days be few; and let another take his place of leadership. "
At last - I can voice a Biblical prayer for our president! Look it up - it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray.
How true is that!?
Where y'all clickers live!
44 8.80% Utah United States
35 7.00% California United States
26 5.20% Newcastle Upon Tyne United Kingdom
24 4.80% New York United States
21 4.20% Nevada United States
20 4.00% Virginia United States
19 3.80% Indiana United States
19 3.80% Oklahoma United States
18 3.60% Ontario Canada Canada
14 2.80% Hawaii United States
11 2.20% Texas United States
11 2.20% Michigan United States
10 2.00% Haryana India India
10 2.00% Colorado United States
Search Terms!
5 8.20% tease my man
3 4.92% tease my husband
3 4.92% venus vs mars meaning
3 4.92% gq and maxim on romance and relationships
2 3.28% should i settle for him
2 3.28% venus vs mars
2 3.28% ashamed of snooping email
2 3.28% intimacy dysfunction
2 3.28% being less emotionally dependent
1 1.64% venus vs mars sex
1 1.64% can teasing a man be good
1 1.64% wife gets jealous when husband visits his parents
1 1.64% lover wife tease
1 1.64% bff jealous of my friends
1 1.64% husband jealous of male friend
1 1.64% venus.house@live.com
1 1.64% marrying a friend for companionship
1 1.64% what he said what she heard venus mars
1 1.64% sex everyday 2010
1 1.64% in the real world Venus
1 1.64% tease texting to loved ones
1 1.64% stay at home mom feeling unappreciated
1 1.64% women jealous of spouses female friends
1 1.64% Why would a spouse keep bring up a secret that he has kept but won't tell about it.
1 1.64% my ex husband wants to babysit our kids in my house
1 1.64% venus and mars "april 18"
1 1.64% the real mars day
1 1.64% why is mars more suitable than venus to live on
1 1.64% wife addicted in treatment husband jelous
1 1.64% mars "absence makes the heart grow fonder"
1 1.64% tease texts examples
1 1.64% everday for 30 days
1 1.64% mars Venus long distance
1 1.64% real world venus vs mars
1 1.64% venus vs. mar
1 1.64% why my wife is jelous to me
1 1.64% what if our venuses and mars don't match up?
1 1.64% I feel like my wife is jelous of my career
1 1.64% in laws dont play with grandkid
1 1.64% growing old with spouse
Where you click!
20 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
14 www.blogger.com/home?pli=1
13 heelsnstocking.blogspot.com/
9 blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
8 www.daddygeekboy.com/
7 twitter.com/
Go see what the Hotdads has going on!
<<<< NSFW on Sunday
My husband's Bible was lying on the dashboard & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.
Psalm 109:8
"May his days be few; and let another take his place of leadership. "
At last - I can voice a Biblical prayer for our president! Look it up - it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray.
How true is that!?
Where y'all clickers live!
44 8.80% Utah United States
35 7.00% California United States
26 5.20% Newcastle Upon Tyne United Kingdom
24 4.80% New York United States
21 4.20% Nevada United States
20 4.00% Virginia United States
19 3.80% Indiana United States
19 3.80% Oklahoma United States
18 3.60% Ontario Canada Canada
14 2.80% Hawaii United States
11 2.20% Texas United States
11 2.20% Michigan United States
10 2.00% Haryana India India
10 2.00% Colorado United States
Search Terms!
5 8.20% tease my man
3 4.92% tease my husband
3 4.92% venus vs mars meaning
3 4.92% gq and maxim on romance and relationships
2 3.28% should i settle for him
2 3.28% venus vs mars
2 3.28% ashamed of snooping email
2 3.28% intimacy dysfunction
2 3.28% being less emotionally dependent
1 1.64% venus vs mars sex
1 1.64% can teasing a man be good
1 1.64% wife gets jealous when husband visits his parents
1 1.64% lover wife tease
1 1.64% bff jealous of my friends
1 1.64% husband jealous of male friend
1 1.64% venus.house@live.com
1 1.64% marrying a friend for companionship
1 1.64% what he said what she heard venus mars
1 1.64% sex everyday 2010
1 1.64% in the real world Venus
1 1.64% tease texting to loved ones
1 1.64% stay at home mom feeling unappreciated
1 1.64% women jealous of spouses female friends
1 1.64% Why would a spouse keep bring up a secret that he has kept but won't tell about it.
1 1.64% my ex husband wants to babysit our kids in my house
1 1.64% venus and mars "april 18"
1 1.64% the real mars day
1 1.64% why is mars more suitable than venus to live on
1 1.64% wife addicted in treatment husband jelous
1 1.64% mars "absence makes the heart grow fonder"
1 1.64% tease texts examples
1 1.64% everday for 30 days
1 1.64% mars Venus long distance
1 1.64% real world venus vs mars
1 1.64% venus vs. mar
1 1.64% why my wife is jelous to me
1 1.64% what if our venuses and mars don't match up?
1 1.64% I feel like my wife is jelous of my career
1 1.64% in laws dont play with grandkid
1 1.64% growing old with spouse
Where you click!
20 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
14 www.blogger.com/home?pli=1
13 heelsnstocking.blogspot.com/
9 blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
8 www.daddygeekboy.com/
7 twitter.com/
Go see what the Hotdads has going on!
<<<< NSFW on Sunday
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Stats, Funnies
Robert watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Robert 'Giving up?'
hehe
Where you clicked.
26 www.hidingfromthekids.com/
17 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
8 www.extremeparenthood.com/
6 twitter.com/
6 www.blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
5 alienus-kairos.blogspot.com/
Search terms, these always tickle me.
3 8.57% how to keep from feeling underappreciated as a wife
2 5.71% sexmen tarzan
2 5.71% jealous of husband's friend
1 2.86% wife teasing husband with another man
1 2.86% Cable guys are unappreciated
1 2.86% my wife feels jealous when i talk to others
1 2.86% husband wife mars venus funny
1 2.86% sexy/provocative texts to send your man while he's at work
1 2.86% sex everyday
1 2.86% the real world venus vs mars
1 2.86% real world vens vs mars
1 2.86% jealous of husband's friend who doesn't like me
1 2.86% sexmen.blogspot
1 2.86% real mars
1 2.86% teasing things to text a guy
1 2.86% best friend versus spouse
1 2.86% my inlaws are disappointed in their grandchildren
1 2.86% do anything for spouse friend
1 2.86% failure rate of dna paternity tests
1 2.86% why is my wife jealous of my male friend
1 2.86% HONEY-DO LIST comics
1 2.86% feeling unappreciated relationship
1 2.86% should i settle for him
1 2.86% tease husband
1 2.86% DO I CHOOSE DAUGHTER OR SPOUSE
1 2.86% my wife is jealous of my female friends
1 2.86% Venus vs Mars questions
1 2.86% resentful wife does not work
1 2.86% resentful wife
1 2.86% blogspot
1 2.86% @istockphoto darkscott
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Robert stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Robert?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Go see what Hotdads has going on! Caption Contest today!
<<< NSFW on Sunday
Hope y'alls weekend was excellent!
hehe
Where you clicked.
26 www.hidingfromthekids.com/
17 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
8 www.extremeparenthood.com/
6 twitter.com/
6 www.blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
5 alienus-kairos.blogspot.com/
Search terms, these always tickle me.
3 8.57% how to keep from feeling underappreciated as a wife
2 5.71% sexmen tarzan
2 5.71% jealous of husband's friend
1 2.86% wife teasing husband with another man
1 2.86% Cable guys are unappreciated
1 2.86% my wife feels jealous when i talk to others
1 2.86% husband wife mars venus funny
1 2.86% sexy/provocative texts to send your man while he's at work
1 2.86% sex everyday
1 2.86% the real world venus vs mars
1 2.86% real world vens vs mars
1 2.86% jealous of husband's friend who doesn't like me
1 2.86% sexmen.blogspot
1 2.86% real mars
1 2.86% teasing things to text a guy
1 2.86% best friend versus spouse
1 2.86% my inlaws are disappointed in their grandchildren
1 2.86% do anything for spouse friend
1 2.86% failure rate of dna paternity tests
1 2.86% why is my wife jealous of my male friend
1 2.86% HONEY-DO LIST comics
1 2.86% feeling unappreciated relationship
1 2.86% should i settle for him
1 2.86% tease husband
1 2.86% DO I CHOOSE DAUGHTER OR SPOUSE
1 2.86% my wife is jealous of my female friends
1 2.86% Venus vs Mars questions
1 2.86% resentful wife does not work
1 2.86% resentful wife
1 2.86% blogspot
1 2.86% @istockphoto darkscott
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Robert stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Robert?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Go see what Hotdads has going on! Caption Contest today!
<<< NSFW on SundayHope y'alls weekend was excellent!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter!
Hope y'all have a big ole Easter!
Come on now those are funny right there!!! CHeck the stats and some funnies below!
Happy Easter!
Come on now those are funny right there!!! CHeck the stats and some funnies below!
Happy Easter!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Stats, Funnies
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way,
be modest and smile pleasantly.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
and jaffa cake body wash .
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Rinse off.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, be modest and smile pleasantly.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-hoo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry only butt cheeks and forearms.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
and make the woo-hoo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day..... and woo-hwoo!!!
STATS
Where they click
17 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
13 www.extremeparenthood.com/
10 anothersuburbanmom.blogspot.com/
9 alienus-kairos.blogspot.com/
9 www.extremeparenthood.com/
8 blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
5 itisjustjules.blogspot.com/
Where they live.
400 80.00% United States United States
48 9.60% United Kingdom United Kingdom
29 5.80% Canada Canada
6 1.20% India India
4 0.80% Australia Australia
3 0.60% Philippines Philippines
3 0.60% Belgium Belgium
1 0.20% Germany Germany
1 0.20% Greece Greece
1 0.20% New Zealand New Zealand
1 0.20% Malaysia Malaysia
1 0.20% Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia
1 0.20% France France
1 0.20% Iceland Iceland
HEHEHE How they found us!
5.88% venus older than mars
2.94% giving up on intimacy
2.94% If distance makes the heart grow fonder... then why do people get restraining orders?
2.94% when spouse finds you resentful
2.94% if v HATE someone,v tel it 2 evryone witout any fear.But if v LOVE someone, v fear even 2 tell d lov
2.94% tease my hubby
2.94% wife jealous of my female friends
2.94% when can an infant be diagnosed with autism
2.94% choose spouse over kids
2.94% spouse overly positive or negative
2.94% going over board for a prom dress
2.94% dont try to change your partner
2.94% negative comments from spouse
2.94% separation makes the heart grow fonder
2.94% i am jealous of husband's female friends
2.94% who should come first your spouse or best friend
2.94% touch my heart -song -music -lyrics
2.94% venus vs mars resturant
2.94% tease my husband
2.94% teasing sexy text examples
2.94% wiki "he said she said" therapy
2.94% i don't like my spouse's friend
2.94% how to tease a married man
2.94% venus & mars april 2 2010
2.94% jealous of spouse friends
2.94% just a little homework arthur
2.94% scary things about mars
2.94% teasing texts
2.94% i have a 3 year old and 6 year old - how do stay at home mom's split chores with working spouses?
2.94% husband is jealous of my male friend
2.94% spouse jealous of friends
2.94% tease my man
2.94% tease a man by email
LITTLE VITO ON GETTING OLDER
Little Vito was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said to him,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Vito replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Vito answered, "No He minded his own business".
Y'all have a big ole Easter!
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way,
be modest and smile pleasantly.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
and jaffa cake body wash .
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Rinse off.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, be modest and smile pleasantly.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-hoo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry only butt cheeks and forearms.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
and make the woo-hoo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day..... and woo-hwoo!!!
STATS
Where they click
17 jsgotgame.blogspot.com/
13 www.extremeparenthood.com/
10 anothersuburbanmom.blogspot.com/
9 alienus-kairos.blogspot.com/
9 www.extremeparenthood.com/
8 blokthoughtsnmore.blogspot.com/
5 itisjustjules.blogspot.com/
Where they live.
400 80.00% United States United States
48 9.60% United Kingdom United Kingdom
29 5.80% Canada Canada
6 1.20% India India
4 0.80% Australia Australia
3 0.60% Philippines Philippines
3 0.60% Belgium Belgium
1 0.20% Germany Germany
1 0.20% Greece Greece
1 0.20% New Zealand New Zealand
1 0.20% Malaysia Malaysia
1 0.20% Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia
1 0.20% France France
1 0.20% Iceland Iceland
HEHEHE How they found us!
5.88% venus older than mars
2.94% giving up on intimacy
2.94% If distance makes the heart grow fonder... then why do people get restraining orders?
2.94% when spouse finds you resentful
2.94% if v HATE someone,v tel it 2 evryone witout any fear.But if v LOVE someone, v fear even 2 tell d lov
2.94% tease my hubby
2.94% wife jealous of my female friends
2.94% when can an infant be diagnosed with autism
2.94% choose spouse over kids
2.94% spouse overly positive or negative
2.94% going over board for a prom dress
2.94% dont try to change your partner
2.94% negative comments from spouse
2.94% separation makes the heart grow fonder
2.94% i am jealous of husband's female friends
2.94% who should come first your spouse or best friend
2.94% touch my heart -song -music -lyrics
2.94% venus vs mars resturant
2.94% tease my husband
2.94% teasing sexy text examples
2.94% wiki "he said she said" therapy
2.94% i don't like my spouse's friend
2.94% how to tease a married man
2.94% venus & mars april 2 2010
2.94% jealous of spouse friends
2.94% just a little homework arthur
2.94% scary things about mars
2.94% teasing texts
2.94% i have a 3 year old and 6 year old - how do stay at home mom's split chores with working spouses?
2.94% husband is jealous of my male friend
2.94% spouse jealous of friends
2.94% tease my man
2.94% tease a man by email
LITTLE VITO ON GETTING OLDER
Little Vito was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said to him,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Vito replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Vito answered, "No He minded his own business".
Y'all have a big ole Easter!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Don't read these comics if you don't like to laugh.
We had some technical difficulties for our He Said She Said post for today.
So... here are some comics I have enjoyed reading. All of them I found on GoComics. Seriously you should go over there and join if you enjoy comics as I do!
So... here are some comics I have enjoyed reading. All of them I found on GoComics. Seriously you should go over there and join if you enjoy comics as I do!
Isn't that last one the TRUTH!!! I think I need to take up golfing? heh!
Shelle
Friday, January 1, 2010
It must be AWFUL to be a girl...
Happy 2010 Everyone!
No Truer Words were spoken... :)-- Click on it if you want to see it bigger!!!
Calvin and Hobbes has to be one of my favorite comic strips...
No Truer Words were spoken... :)-- Click on it if you want to see it bigger!!!
Calvin and Hobbes has to be one of my favorite comic strips...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Ringing in the New Year!
Happy New Year's Eve!!!
Here's hoping your New Year's Ever was better than this couple's from last year :)
Love,
Shelle and all the Real World Contributors!!!
Here's hoping your New Year's Ever was better than this couple's from last year :)
- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
- I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
- I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
- I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
- I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
- Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
- I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
- I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
- I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
- I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
- I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
- I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
- I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
- I will think of a password other than "password."
- I will not tell the same story at every get together.
- I won't worry so much.
- I will cut my hair.
- I will grow my hair.
- I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
- I will be more imaginative.
- I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
- I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
And some New Year's Resolutions, I think a guy wrote them ;)
Hope you are all partying it up for the New Year!!! If you stop by let us know of any big plans!!! :) Or is your plans more like these guys:
Love,
Shelle and all the Real World Contributors!!!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Some Funnies
Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir.. It's the same dog
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
The awesome power of a wife's love
A very old man lay dying in his bed. At death's door, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral".
Hope y'all had an excellent Christmas!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Things you can say on Thanksgiving...
Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving......
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!!!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!!!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
If that isn't funny I don't know WHAT is! :) hehehe
Can anybody else add to this list?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Turkey's lay eggs :)
Happy Thanksgiving EVE for fellow Americans!
For the rest of the week we will just have Jokes or Thanksgiving stories! Hope you enjoy!
*******************************************
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Any good pranks you guys have done on Thanksgiving???
Friday, October 30, 2009
Halloween = Pranks
There is nothing like great pranks. My guy loves to prank me all.the.time. here is some good ones that should make you laugh! :)
Have a good Halloween everyone!!!
Have a good Halloween everyone!!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Are Women the Weaker sex?
Why Women Are Crabby
We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt
so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable
training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses
on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone
crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time
which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he
We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt
so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable
training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses
on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone
crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time
which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he
did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was
about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over
Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to
have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we
pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived,
the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of
the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain
all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please
stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push'
(more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a
wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual
prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in
July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that
moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men
get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the
woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great
Gandhi a tad crabby.
You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me!
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over
Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to
have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we
pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived,
the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of
the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain
all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please
stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push'
(more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a
wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual
prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in
July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that
moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men
get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the
woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great
Gandhi a tad crabby.
You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me!
Thanks Julie for sending that to me! Don't know where she got it! :)
NEXT WEEK: The New Real World--well kinda, just structured differently! I think you guys will like it! Be sure to come back! :)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
How to shower: Women vs. Men
I remember getting this email.
The shakin their thangs is SO true at least when it comes to my hubby!!!
But I do have to admit. I don't know if I would take THAT much time cleaning up the bathroom!
So does this scenario look familiar to anyone? Is this a stereo type or true when it comes to you and your significant other?! :)
Have a good Thursday everyone!
Love,
But the video! HAHAHAHA!
Warning: it does have the A.Z.Z. word written once in it for all my PG friends out there! (replace z with s)
But NO nudity! It's hilarious, well to me, but I have a warped since of humor!
The shakin their thangs is SO true at least when it comes to my hubby!!!
But I do have to admit. I don't know if I would take THAT much time cleaning up the bathroom!
So does this scenario look familiar to anyone? Is this a stereo type or true when it comes to you and your significant other?! :)
Have a good Thursday everyone!
Love,
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Some Re-vamping and Comics! :)
Hey everyone! WE are re-vamping the structure of Real World Venus vs. Mars!
So the rest of the week we are just posting fluff! Then starting next week we will be just a tad different in how we post!
So read below for the most current posts and read them if you haven't already!
Thanks for coming back and being a part of all this! :)
***Update: Below is comics written about things actually said in a Therapist Office. To some they may be funny, to others they may be disturbing :) Thanks SciFi Dad for making me aware that I should probably write a caveat so that people know what to kind of expect when they see these :)
And people wonder why I want to be a Marriage Therapist! My job would be so interesting! ;)
Love,
So the rest of the week we are just posting fluff! Then starting next week we will be just a tad different in how we post!
So read below for the most current posts and read them if you haven't already!
Thanks for coming back and being a part of all this! :)
***Update: Below is comics written about things actually said in a Therapist Office. To some they may be funny, to others they may be disturbing :) Thanks SciFi Dad for making me aware that I should probably write a caveat so that people know what to kind of expect when they see these :)
And people wonder why I want to be a Marriage Therapist! My job would be so interesting! ;)
Love,
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