Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sharing a bathroom, things that drive me nuts!

Do I like sharing a bathroom with my spouse? Seriously…? That’s like asking if I like getting kicked in the nuts? No…no I do not. If I had enough money to make it possible that my house had a he and a she bathroom – it would be done by now.

To set the stage, I live in a three-bedroom, one-bath house with my wife and our adoring, perfectly well-behaved devil children (ages 5 & 7). Our last house was a four-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath house. Yeah…talk about a downgrade.

The kids sharing the bathroom – I can handle that. Worst part is cleaning my sons piss off the toilet seat cause he’s too lazy to lift 2 things before unleashing his stream. But the wifey....let me count the ways she drives me nuts….

1) The Bow-Tie Toothpaste
I’ll never for the life of me understand why she can’t push the toothpaste from the bottom? Why? Every morning and night, the toothpaste container looks like a bowtie – fat on both sides, tight in the middle.
2) Here’s your 1 inch of cabinet space honey!
We have a Walgreens in our freakin’ bathroom and it takes up every inch of shelf space but one. It’s so packed, that EVERY morning when I get my deodorant or hair gel out, I inevitably knock one of her products out by accident.
3) Loofahs loofahs everywhere a loofah!!!
I am convinced this woman has a loofah for every significant part of her body, as well as back-up loofahs in case one goes on the fritz or, God forbid, touch one of my bodyparts. If only she knew what I did with the loofahs when I take a shower.
4) Where in the name of hell is my freakin’ towel?!!

This one really makes me batty. My lovely and talented bride goes to the linen closet, gets herself a fresh towel, takes a shower, gets out of the shower and wraps her gorgeous body with said towel. But she doesn’t stop there cause her flowing hair is wet. So she grabs MY freakin’ towel to dry it off with and never replaces it. So to recap…goes to linen closet – gets 1 towel, not 2 – uses mine for her beautiful hair – doesn’t replace it. Leaving me, hours later, naked and soaking wet to hunt for a new towel.
5) Replace the toilet paper roll? Why…you always do it..
That must be what goes through her mind because I can’t figure out any other reason. But it never fails….the few times I don’t look before sitting, I usually end up stranded and screaming for one of the kids to come hook a brother up.

So I guess five….five things drive me nuts about sharing a bathroom with the wifey. There’s no lacey panties laying around. Hand written notes to me saying how much she wishes she could take a shower with me. No sexy messages written on the fogged-up mirror. None of that. Just five…wonderful….amazing bathroom gifts that make me love her more and more every day.


The Bare Essentials Today said...

Ooooh, the towel and TP thing would drive me batty! There is nothing worse than getting out of the shower only to find you are standing there soaking wet with no towel!

cjaxon said...

Funny, I always hang a fresh towel for me AND the hubby each day .... laziness ;) Oh, and they make these little things that slide on the end of the toothpaste tube, you just twist the knob and it rolls away the empty part. Look into it.

OneZenMom said...

Great post.

The only thing that really bugs me about sharing a bathroom with the ZenHusband is the Splash Zone.

The man is just incapable of doing anything in the sink without spraying water all over the sink and everywhere else. Drives me batty.

Betty Manousos said...

I love my own bathroom.

DGB said...

We luckily have two sinks in our bathroom...yet I'm always finding her hair all over my sink.

But for a while, my kids were all into taking baths in my bathroom, which meant not only my wife's stuff all over, but the kids toys and empty shampoo bottles and other stuff they like to play with.

Anonymous said...

I am with you all the way on #5! There is a hard & fast bathroom rule at our house. If you use the last of the TP (or it is even getting low), put another roll on. Otherwise, you are officially in the doghouse here.

Had to deal with one small bathroom for everyone in the past. Spouse & I share now, but it may as well be separate (separate sinks, he likes the shower, I like the separate bathtub if he isn't around to share a shower with, separate space for stuff & separated toilet area). This was a big selling point for me (2nd to the kitchen) when we bought this house. Very thankful for the "together, but separate" space.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

How funny. You just described me. And yes I do have a loofah for every significant body part PLUS a back up! And I thought little toilet paper elves changed those things? Hmmmm

And I never check for towels before I shower so I always use my husbands! Hehehehe

Funny, we could practically be married!

I just loved this post! Was laughin the whole way!

Anonymous said...

A rant and a rave:

Rant: She never puts the toilet paper roll on the damn roller. It's usually left directly behind the toilet on the cabinet. So I have to extent well beyond my middle-aged range-of-motion just to reach it. NOT fun . . .

Rave: Aforementioned cabinet has a shelf on top where we stack the towels. It's right outside the shower curtain. So there is no hunting for towels . . . unless there are none.

Great post, dude!

Anonymous said...

And what is this with his/her towels?! Are you telling me that there are relationships in which each person has a set of towels which only they use? My wife and I do have certain towels that we prefer, generally based on size. She likes littler ones for her hair. But other than that, all towels are fair game.

Please, enlighten me people!

Just Jules said...

thank you cheekofg. I was thinking the same thing? what is up with the towels? seriously - we have a cupboard fulllllllll of towels and really at any given time you have your choice of 10-15. grab whatever!

Right now we get ready at different times so it is not really an issue in our house (right now).

I have gotten over all the things that bother me about my hubby in the bathroom because it takes more energy to complain about them then it does just to deal. I wipe around the toilet and the toilet everyday - we have three boys and hubby... they splash, they miss.
I pick my unders off the floor, I may as well pic his up at the same time. He should shut the shower curtain so it doesn't mold, but I shower after him so it usually isn't an issue. Other then that our bathroom is so small not much can be made - now the kids leaving every *bleeping thing out that they use... and getting in the way upstairs when we built them a perfectly wonderful bathroom downstairs ... now we can rant.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

WHAT!? You can have more than one towel at a time???


Just Jules said...

I use two after a shower sometimes - one for my bod and one for my hair. It is a great great thing to be so blessed with more than one towel ;) Shelle.

Shirley said...

LOL My husband is always complaining about how I maul my tube of toothpaste. I'm not sure why it bothers him so much as he has his own tube and can keep it as neat and flat as he wants.

I understand the toilet paper rant. I seem to be the only person in the house capable of putting toilet paper on.

Hint - Get a new towel out of the closet before getting in the shower. : )

glitterbygrammie said...

No matter what I think, toilet paper will always be an issue. I nag and nag and nag. Decided it isn't worth it. No one listens to me nagging. Put the toilet paper in the cupboard closest to the toilet so it is readily available.
Problem solved.
Now I can start nagging about something else. Sounds refreshing to me.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I think if the government really wanted to preserve the santicty of heterosexual marriage they would give a tax credit to all people to build a separate bathroom for each spouse