Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Less Chex More Mix - The Mars/Venus Recipe Swap

Psst! Tysdaddy here. I'm taking over the blog today to engage in a bit of festive merriment.

How about a show of hands: Who likes eating?

Thank you, I see that hand. And that one waaay in the back. Hands are raised all over the internet.


Because we're an eating bunch. Especially those of us pursuing or already in committed relationships . . .

Pardon me. I opened a new tab in my Firefox browser and tried to find some research to back up that claim, but it's late, Google is overwhelmingly vague at the moment, and I really don't care. Just nod your head in recognition of my profundity.

So, allow me to start a new holiday tradition here at In the Real World: The annual "Mars/Venus Recipe Swap."

[insert whoops and applause]

We'll do this every year on the day before Christmas. Because I said so. And because I know that we're all either eyeballs deep in cookbooks preparing grub for the hoards that will come knocking within the next 24 hours, or we're eating said grub and, with a crowbar shaped like a wine glass, are attempting to wrest the recipe for the simply succulent chicken feet kabobs out of Aunt Nellie's arthritic grip.

Bottom line?

By the end of the day, you'll have a recipe that you're just dying to share. Whether it's for some animal or vegetable swimming in gravy or a cookie shaped like a reindeer turd, this is the place to spill the three-bean salad.

To kick off the festivities, here is my super-secret, better-than-sex, stick-to-your-ribs recipe for Chex Mix. This Chex Mix is on steroids and bench presses 350 pounds. This Chex Mix will kick your grandma's Chex Mix's sagging booty.

Tysdaddy's Chex Mix That is Less Chex and More Mix and Rules the World of Chex Mix With Its Mightiness

1 Stick Salted Sweet Cream Butter
2 Cups Corn Chex Cereal
2 Cups Rice Chex Cereal
2 Cups Wheat Chex Cereal
2 Cups Garlic Parmesan CHEEZ-IT Crackers (Or White Cheddar if your are a sissy and can't handle so much garlic!)
1 Cup Salted Pretzel Twists
½ Cup Mixed Nuts
½ Cup Whole Cashews or Pecans
½ Cup Sesame Sticks
1 Teaspoon Lawry’s Seasoning Salt
½ Teaspoon Garlic Powder
½ Teaspoon Onion Powder
2 Tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce

Preheat oven to 250ยบ.
Melt butter in microwave (Two minutes or so, and please put it in a bowl or something!)
Mix all the big, dry stuff in an oven pan (The cheap kind that you can toss when you're done.)
Add spices to melted butter and stir.
Pour seasoned butter over mix and stir.
Bake in oven for one hour, stirring every fifteen minutes.
Spread out and cool mix on towel.

And you will eat it, my friend. The whole batch. While it's still warm. And then your family or significant other will complain that they didn't get any. And you'll just laugh at their pain as you wipe the buttery crumbs off your Molly Hatchet concert tee.

'Cause that's how you roll!

Alright. Your turn. I know you've got a recipe you want to add to our first annual Mars/Venus Recipe Swap post thingy. So leave a comment already! And then you can go back to your party . . .

[Flickr photo is by foooooey and is protected]


Anonymous said...

What - no comments. Ohhhhh, we can’t have that on C’mas eve can we. Here we go then -

Ock - the Scots can beat that rubbishy stuff anyday - tark a lok at this laddy - and spoil yerself.

SCOTTISH OATCAKES (original (rich Scots only))

You need oats, 10 oz (250 grams)
butter 5 oz (125 grams)
golden syrup 1 oz (25 grams)
sugar 5 oz (125 grams, roughly one teacup full, not heaped)
pinch of Shelle’s cruelty to give it a tangy exciting taste

Melt the butter and syrup together
Stir in sugar
Stir in oats
Press mixture gently into a baking container
Bake at 180 C (gas mark 4) for around 20 minutes depended on personal preference

Allow to cool and cut into squares. This makes enough for eight meals.

Microwave for approx 3 minutes with milk. Serve in a wooden bowl with a dab of sour cream. Best eaten on your own with a wooded spoon, on a bare table, with a single candle lighting a dingy, cold and silent room - the ideal C’mas dinner for those old and alone. Aye, spoil yerself.

I have this every day, it is cheap, nutritious, very healthy, excellent for the bowls, and tasty, and cheap, cheap, cheap. It’s mid-day so I think I’ll go and have one now.

David Edward

Hubman said...

I really like this idea, but I don't have a recipe to post (I don't cook, I just assemble!), but a few weeks ago Veronica ran a holiday cookie recipe exchange on her blog:

Check the left sidebar on her blog for a bunch of other bloggers who also played along.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I love when there is a bloggy take over! Plus I'm really scared of he gets to do what he wants!

I'm going to go to the store and buy the ingredients for that lovely, fat indulging-heart attack in a recipe, chex mix!

I would try the Scottish oat cakes... But I'm not a rich Scot or have the oats that r probably necessary? When I come visit you David you can make them for me!

Bwahahahahaha @ a pinch of Shelle cruelty! Hehehehehehe if you didn't actually read through that recipe one would have missed that delightful addition! Hey, I explained myself!!! It was endearing!!!

Okay moving on to my recipe...the best and gooiest Caramrel Popcorn you will ever eat! Not for the faint of heart!

Caramel Popcorn

1 Cube of butter
1 can (14 oz.) Of Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 C. Of Carol or Corn Syrup
2 cups of Brown Sugar
1 tsp. Of Vanilla
4 bags of popcorn (that's right bags you pop in the microwave...take or filter out all the unpopped kernels)

Melt ingredients but don't bring to boil. Once the sugar is melted then pour over popcorn and mix well! Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

No need to fear Tysdaddy! He's just a big teddy bear!

But to share a recipe - One MUST try these delicious Iced Pineapple cookies I just baked! They are yummy! Just ask Tysdaddy!

2 cups of flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 8oz can of crushed pineapple drained (reserve the juice)

Pineapple glaze:
3 cups of confectioners sugar
1/4 cup pineapple juice

1. Preheat oven to 400*F
2. Butter 3 cookie sheets
3. Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl
4. Beat the shortening and brown sugar in a large bowl with electric mixer on high until creamy
5. Add the egg and vanilla, beating til just blended
6. Mix in the pineapple reserving a few pieces for decoration and add the dry ingredients
7. Drop teaspoons of the dough 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheets
8. Bake until just golden at the edges, about 8-9 minutes
9. Transfer to racks to cool

1. Mix the confectioners sugar and pineapple juice in a small bowl
2. Spread the glaze over the tops of the cookies and top with the reserved pineapple chunks.
3. Let set 30 minutes (if you can)



Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay, I should have enjoyed your lengthy comment David but all I heard was "I did make an oatcake for a female friend, same mature age, similar build to you (the fuller figure is much admired in Scotland - we need the warmth you see) and as good looking (nearly)" now as I see and think you meant it as a compliment... my mind is buzzing to figure out how you know what type or figure I am???

Have you seen a picture? And if so... I need to know exactly where it is!!!

I'm not arguing I'm full figured or not.. I'm just saying...

Hehehe at Mormons... I think you have been doing some snooping around on my blog David... Good Work!

Hope you had a Merry Christmas seeing as how you won't get this comment because you are all brushed and deodorized!!!

Thank goodness for that Atlantic right??? If you lived anywhere near me I might just jump you ;) Scary stuff hehehehehe hope you're taking that Male Birth Control pill--ha! Sorry I had to I couldn't pass that one up!

All right. Laters Everyone!

And I think TysDaddy's wife commented on here!!! Hello lucky lady! I'm going to have to try your recipe! I'll let you know how it goes! :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

It's all right - the delete button has just reappeared.

As I am now self moderating I have delete the above comment for insensitivity.

Anonymous said...

Don't feel concerned, just check my last comment on your blog - Shelle-BlokThoughs - webpage, first entry, 1st photo, 8th comment.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

David... I got all comments and none of them seemed insensitive.

I enjoy our back and forth and promise I was only kidding with anything I say :). I am closer to full figured than model thin so we are all good!

Sherry comment me anytime! :)

Just Jules said...

I don't have recipes to share - I don't use recipes unless i have to. I cook what I know and make it up as I go.

Plus, I don't like to eat - would avoid it if i could.

However, if others are cooking - I will gladly fill my plate

Anonymous said...

@Ssssherry Sssshelle

Who needs a resipyy when youvvv got a bottle of shhhhherrr. Any old can will do,

@Just Jewels

So if I can just clarify this -

“I cook what I know
and make it up as I go

Plus, I don't like to eat - would avoid it if I could
even if it meant I’d end up in a casket of wood

However, if others are cooking - I will gladly fill my plate
Especially if it’s at the cost of yet another keen date!”

And if the meal includes a bottle of sherry
you can snuggle me down in front of the telly.”

Yes, I think that is very sensible recipe for a happy life.

I would like to apologize for any offence that I may have unwittingly given and assure the offended that it will not occur again. I am sincerely and truly truly sorry. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me - if not now - then sometime in the future when time and age has abated your indignation.

(There you are Shelle, that is how to apologize, when, as a random example, someone may have called someone else something like um, oh - I don’t know, perhaps - a ridiculous person, nerd, foolish... and a penis, - oh yes, I haven‘t forgotten) But of course it is entirely your decision.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Dang I was hoping you had the same memory retention as any male regardless of whether they have sean connery looks and a sexy scottish brogue (I'm assuming it's sexy).

Okay okay...I'll apologize, but as a sidenote I did want to reiterate that I meant it more endearing than offensive.

Here I go: "I would like to apologize for any offence that I may have unwittingly given and assure the offended that it will not in a mean and intentional way happen again (but may unintentionally). I am sincerely and truly truly sorry. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me-if not now-then sometime in the future when time and age has abated your indignation."

FTR (For The Record)the penis slang was out of context so apparently I didn't mean it that way. :)

As for your comment on my other blog... That lady standing behind Santa and my kids was not know that right?

And the other pictures with women in it were not me :). Just sayin...

Look a few posts down and you will find plenty pics of me...cause that is how I roll :)

Anonymous said...

@ Shelle

Weeeell, not bad I suppose. Ok, your forgiven.

Just checked your blog and gone back a while and it appears you are as you look. I wouldn't like to identify myself, too many people would like to pay me a personal visit !!

It seems I've wandered into a close community here, where you all know one another, so perhaps I should explain my sudden appearance. I put on a google alert for the male contraceptive pill as I've been posting my analysis around the world (under other names) and hubman's post on your site came up - which is how I arrived on your site.

His unusual and vigorous response stung me to respond so I stayed around. We didn't have much of a ‘banter’ though as you stopped it. I have had considerably more vigorous 'discussion' and thoroughly enjoy them! I’ve got the answer for most things.

You've got a good site, one of the best themes I've seen, so will continue posting until I'm blocked. I expect you'll get fed up with me eventually. But I won’t do so much as I'm back to work once this C'mas break is over. I’ve really enjoyed posting on your social site and it’s really helped a lonely C’mas. Thanks.

It's 9.00 o'clock here so I'm off to do the chores, watch TV and settle down early. Been a good day today and I've nearly rebuilt my site one.

Off line now.

David Edward.

The Bare Essentials Today said...

Ohh, can't wait to try this recipe! It's close to the one I make, but it sounds yummy!

Kritta22 said...

How about more chex recipes?!

Muddy Buddies

1 box of Chex cereal (any kind)
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 tsp vanilla
2 cup powered sugar

Melt chips, peanut butter and butter in the microwave. Add vanilla fast. Then stir in cereal.

while it's still 'wet' put coated cereal in ziplock bag with some powered sugar. Shake. Repeat until all cereal covered.

Place on cookie sheet to 'dry' OR eat right away!

(I can put away a whole thing in a day! I'm just saying!)

Kritta22 said...

PS I liked David...did he stick around?

Nanuni Kokoritu said...

That is why I love this blog!