Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's a silent agreement...

My family is loud... or I should say LOUD. And sometimes it drives me nuts. We talk over each other, we laugh at inappropriate times, we fight, we make up, and we eat all.the.time while giving a Top Notch performance at the previous mentioned things. Any one of us want the center of attention and like hungry wolves we will do about anything to get the attention back on us.

Now some of us married spouses that fit right in, or should I say, are just as loud and attention hungry as the rest of us... which bodes well for them--at least when we are all on good terms and agreeing with one another.

For those of us, or me, that have a spouse that is appalled by all of this... it doesn't bode well for the guy. In fact, most of the time when we are hanging out with my family I rarely know where he is. He has gotten very good at seeking spots where he won't be bothered or should I say won't have to watch the circus that is my family.

I use to throw a fit about him going MIA until I realized I could do the same when I needed my space while hanging out with his family. And now this works for us. It's a silent agreement. One that hasn't had an official handshake, yet we both seem to know that the other will at some point (or in his case the majority of the time) will take time for themselves and may wander off and not be seen for some time.

But you want to know what I have realized this last week ... besides the fact that we have this silent agreement? I have realized that the very thing that drives me nuts about family (and I mean EITHER family)... is the very thing that endears me to them.

So all in all... I have had a very productive and enlightening Holiday so far and that counts for something!!!

How about you guys? How do you deal with family? Do you love it? Do you hideaway until it is time to go home or do you soak it all up and hate when it is time to part?


Hubman said...

I'm surrounded by loud people at family gatherings. My brother-in-law the loud one, my equally loud sister, my hearing-impaired step-father, my dad who is loud for no apparent reason.

Not to mention my in-laws, Veronica's family, the Brooklyn-born and -raised Eye-talians!

I tend to hide away, or else I'll end up grumpy with a headache.

Hubman PhD
(others are using initials after their names, figured I'd use my too)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

My family is loud all the time. We laugh a lot and tell inappropriate jokes. They are just nuts. And the two guys I brought home to my family in the past just did NOT fit in. Finally now, my boyfriend of 2 years fits in perfectly. He comes from a very loud family too and it works out well for us. I enjoy every second of my loud family (and most of the time I enjoy his too!).

Unknown said...

My mother and grandparents are spanish and they are loud. My aunts and uncles are loud, and sometimes they ALL talk at the same time in spanish and it is hilarious and yet catch what the other is saying. When we visit there is no hiding because, it is very entertaining until I get a headache then that is our cue to go home (hehe) My kids, however, are quieter. My partner's family are not loud at all. He was raised in a home where parents consistently battled each other, so loud voices makes him and his siblings anxious.

So, are we putting initials after our names? OK.

Wannabevirginawolf, GDS (Goddess) LOL

Hubman said...

Don't mind me, WannabeVirginia W, I'm just being a smart-ass towards David Edward with the initials thing..

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Hubman--LOL @ initials! Hehehehe but also WOW! I'm impressed! What do you have your phD in? That is very cool. Your wifes family sounds fantastic being eye-talian and all...but loud does tend to give one a headache huh? I think my husband has decided that he would rather avoid the headache and grumpy...and frankly so do I :) (you? A smartazz? Never ;)

Shellspan--good for you! That is lucky! But it sounds like I would love your family also :)

WVW-you totally took my initials!!! Oh well I'll think of something else. I should probably leave when the headache starts... Normal people would.

Shelle TM (The Master or as some have called me recently, The Meanie) hehehe

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

We're a very quiet family, hence I shall just murmur to myself, "I wonder what the D stands for in PhD ?". I’ll ask Shelle later.

Sir David Edward

David and David Edward = 31
hutman = 17

Anonymous said...

I am now self moderating, hence the deleting of an insensitive comment.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

David LOL... I can't check on my phone but how many comments do I have??? Am I still in the running? Can girls compete also? Just wondering...

Do you have the link to that mens site you were kicked out of? Or blocked from? I can't imagine why!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I did give it to you but here it is again - mensnewdaily.com


Scroll down for some interesting stuff. I have been blocked AND deleted, and am speechless. (nice pun huh)

Anonymous said...

You have 39 - no sorry, no girls allowed.

Sir David Edward

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Hey! Why no girls allowed??? Is there a logical reason for that!?

Either way, will smugly look on and know I'm winning! Neener neener!!!

Well I'm speechless also!!! Very nice pun! Hehehe... I can't imagine why they would block u--rolls eyes-- I'm going over there to give them a piece of my mind!!! In your defense! :)

Anonymous said...

NO NO DON'T Shelly it's a mens right site - they'll tear you to pieces ! Look what they've done to me.

"Hey! Why no girls allowed??? Is there a logical reason for that!?"

Yes, there is - your winning.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL @ I'm winning...that's a good reason :)

I'm made of sterner stuff David! I can take it! But seeing how you want to protect me from getting torn apart I'll stay away... But I spit in the sites general direction ;)

Anonymous said...

Stelle - You would spit on my behalf - I'm humbled yet proud.

Wannabe virginia W - I thought W stood for Wade - the tennis star. Now if you were like her you really would be a Goddess. Any chance of a pic on your blog?

The sensible comment I meant to put on originally before being provoked by Hubbymans claim to academic prowess.

"He has gotten very good at seeking spots where he won't be bothered"

- along with the family dog?

Ha, things don't change much over the generations. This reminds me of a important piece of Scottish wisdom passed on from father to son. My grandfather passed it to my father who passed it onto me, and it goes as follows -

1 Don't have anything to do with women
2 If you do, don't marry them
3 If you do, don't have children
4 If you do, find yourself a place to run and disappear into, because by gosh, you're going to need it.

As true today as it was a hundred years ago, and probably a thousand years or more ago! I was only dragged as far as stage 2.

I'm afraid to pass it on to the six lads in the next generation of my family in case I offend any feminists. (something I avoid at all cost) Four men in my generation of my family, seven in the next - no girls, thus we are a very quiet lot indeed and are indeed blessed.

Off to make tea now - fried eggs on drained tinned spaggie heated in a pan. Ummmm aint life grand.

Sir David Edward

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

How very coincidental! My Irish heritage and family passed this piece of knowledge down to me:

1 Don't have anything to do with men
2 If you do, don't marry them
3 If you do, don't have children
4 If you do, find yourself a place to run and disappear into, because by gosh, you're going to need it.

Isn't that crazy???

As far as the family dog? I don't know, don't own a dog...but the ones I have observed seem to love being in the thick of the loud and noisy!!!

"I'm afraid to pass it on to the six lads in the next generation of my family in case I offend any feminists. (something I avoid at all cost)" Well at least you admit you are afraid to offend us feminists... we can be a very scary lot! :) hehehe

"Off to make tea now - fried eggs on drained tinned spaggie heated in a pan. Ummmm aint life grand." If I knew what you were talking about...aside from the fried eggs I have know idea what you mean! But you seem to lead a very "hard" life!

Don't you have to EARN the title of Sir in your parts???

Shelle TM

Hubman said...

David, we all know that PhD stands for "Piled higher and Deeper". I have no idea what academic prowess you're alleging...

Unknown said...

Oh hey "piled higher & deeper" is a comic strip by Jorge Cham http://www.phdcomics.com/
I am sure everyone knew that.

I thought PhD meant, "put it here dummy". So I was told!

David: Uhm, that would be a no on a photo on my blog. I do value the direction of my career... okay, I need to lurk your blog...

Unknown said...

P.s. David, you have no blog to lurk? it says profile not available? whhhaaaatttt?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL @ Put it HERE Dummy!!! Bwahahahahah...

I love it!

I know huh??? I think David is afraid to have a profile!!! Just sayin... ;P

Jenny DB said...

apparently my family is the exact.same as yours, including my significant other. he goes and plays wii with the kids, or goes out and fishes on the dock, or just disappears i dunno where anytime there are more than oh, 4 or so of my family members around. understandable, i think. ive had 26 years to acclimate and cope. :)

Anonymous said...

Jenny -

hubman -

I’ll give you this - at least you can spell PhD correctly. I be a hyocrocy if I claimed I could spell.

Jenny -

"or just disappears"

Aren't you afraid that one day he may not reappear? You know those collars they fit to wild animals so they can track them - well, perhaps.......

Wannabevirgin -

Ohhh, come on now, just one little pic of your best feature, nothing loud, how about your hands on the desk, with just a teeny bit of your bosom (clothed) showing. Just a teeny teenyweeny bit to get your hit rate up a bit - hmmmm? (coaxing) Are you a Mormon?

Shelle -

Afraid - meeee! Here, I throw your insult back into your lap. Notice that I do not make 3 posts of this to get my hit rate up.

Unknown said...

Shelle, have you checked David's (holy crap! people are asking for a blog so I have to make a blog real quick) blog. I wonder if that is him on the photo, he is cute.

David, no I am not a mormon, I am amish (lol)and we are forbidden to show parts of our body.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

YAY!!! David does indeed have a profile and his own blog... but I doubt the picture is of him!

Thanks for throwing the insult back into my lap and doing something about it!

I followed you David... your.welcome.

hahahahaha @ amish! Good one... good one!!!

It's David Edward TF (The Fickle)? RIght? hehehehe Now that you have added that though your hit thing will have a third party to it... you will be David, David Edward, and David Edward TF you know that right?

Anonymous said...

“holy crap”? Virgina, you’re not Mormon or Amish. Our Kirk wouldn’t have you either. So you might as well show a bit on your blog. Your hands would be nice, or your hair. The latter would be interesting. (coexing) ohhhh come on now, you must have nice bits somewhere. It doesn’t HAVE to be recent. (gentle coexing) come on now, you caaaan do it.

Anonymous said...

David Edward TF (The Fickle)? I’ve just check your eyes Stelle and their green! Oh Stelle, you know that you have my heart.

“your hit thing will have a third party to it” !”£$%^&*() Heh, no problem, I’ll just add them together. Would that count?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

You keep writing Stelle like I'm going to change my name so I will split up MY hits...

Cause even though I'm NOT in the game... I'm secretly playing and I'm still winning!

I'm glad I still have your heart that's a relief...

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh! Shelly, I am soooo sorry. To get someone's name wrong is sooo insensitive.

That reminds me of a very funny incident when many years ago I had a London secretary girlfriend. I'll write it up and put it to you as a lead comment. It was one of the biggest blunders I have ever made.

It's 5.45pm now so tea now.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Uh huh! Don't pretend you weren't doing that on purpose!

Write it up! I'd love to hear about it!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Well, (gentle smile here) perhaps I did.

But I would like to apologize for any offence that I may have unwittingly given and assure you that it will not occur again. I am sincerely and truly truly sorry. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me - if not now - then sometime in the future when time and age has abated your indignation.

I write it up over the next couple of days.

Off line now.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Hey you need to connect your email to your blog so I can respond back to yoU!!!

Email me if you do not know how to do it :)

And of course, apology accepted :)

June said...

We have come to the point of keeping the music rather low so we don't shout so loud - I mean talk so loud...

My husband is the quietest one at my family gatherings but usually sits back and takes in stride. He did capture the best picture this year of his MIL (my mom) stripping off her pants in the living room to try on some new boxer shorts!

stupid smart girl said...

My hub and I both tend to retreat from one another's families, even though neither is particularly loud. His sisters are kind of bossy in an "my ideas are better" kind of way, which annoys me. He just plain doesn't like people and would rather read a book or watch football than chat. So we both tend to hide until it's time to go home.


I am not following all of this. But, it is the landlord who determines how the rent is paid, if they care. If he wants a check he gets a check.

landscape gold coast said...

I watch situations such as yours on Peoples court and you should put a resaonable time for a notice, security deposit, all keys to be in you posession upon moving, and all bills to be split evenly and prorated upon moving inbetween the billing cycle. No/ok for pets? No/ok for guests? no/ok for parties? Cover your butt. It can get qite ugly and costly if you don't cover these issues in writing and before moving in. Good luck