Monday, May 11, 2009

Couples Dating

See, there is this problem I have. I love to date. I love to be with someone who totally understands me. Yes, I am married. But what is wrong with us both going out to find....


2 like-minded people that we can hang with and have fun with.

It's tough. I know you all know what I mean. Finding that one special couple where you love the girl, hubby digs on the guy and you can sit for hours talking, watching movies, playing games (although I have already posted about my Hubby's disdain for games). You know, all that fun "dating stuff."

I am looking for a couple to date.

Get your sick minds out of the gutter people. I am not into Swinging. I just want another couple that will be a perfect fit for me and hubby to hang with.

Do you have this problem?

Let me describe a couple of examples of the problems we are having in this area.
  • Hubby's best friend got married about 2 years after we did. His wife is pretty much a homebody. I have my own issues, so I am not going to judge her on that. BUT- not too long ago Hubby was taking the chillins to play with his friend's daughter. When I didn't show up, too, the wife was a little put out that I wasn't there. A few months later happened to be New Years Eve, so we invited their family over for a night of movies and snacks. Hubby's friend and kid came, but no wife. So, I thought this was maybe in retaliation. She stayed home that night to clean her house in preparation for her family to come over. Weird, but okay. About a month later I planned on making the trek with my fam down to see Hubby's friend and he called ahead to see if they wanted to do dinner all together. The wife said she was tired and was going to go to bed. NICE! So, needless to say, I am no longer making an effort with this couple. (These are only a few of the weird things that have happened between us.)
  • Next up is the ever-popular "let's move away" couple. We had the perfect fit. I kid you not. Seriously people, Hubby had grown up with the guy. They were tight. The wife and I got along REALLY well. We hung out for hours scrapbooking, watching American Idol and shopping. ALL OF A SUDDEN they told us that they were moving to California to move in with her parents while they tried to get out of debt. Now don't get me wrong. I totally get that they had a situation with their bills and had a solution, but did they really have to move 3 states away? Finally a perfect fit and they move.
  • Last example, I promise... I love to hang out with friends. Really, I crave social interaction. I found a friend and totally loved her. Her hubby got along pretty well with my hubby. We did things A LOT! Our kids got along really well. Situation seemed really good for about 6 months, until my friend's hubby found a friend that he liked better. Then, when we invited them over for games or dinner they were always busy. OR my friend's hubby was quiet the whole time, making the situation more than a little awkward. Just WEIRD.
Have you had any weird/strange/complicated/awkward experiences trying to find the right couple to date?


Unknown said...

We can't find anyone to date either. Our friends here are single. Our friends in the US have kids. Wahoo! Just that small issue of living thousands of miles away from each other.

The best friends we had for a fit were when hubs was a police officer (7 years ago). There were a lot of couples from shift we hung out with and since they were all watching each others back (literally) we were a tight knit group. I miss those days.

Wanna be couples together? lol

Anjeny said...

When we were living in the student married housing, there used to be two couples that my hubby and I hung out with all the time. Both guys were missionary companions of my hub and us wives found we actually enjoyed hanging with each other so yeah, we used to do game night and movie nights.

Both couples have since moved away after college so it gets harder to keep up with each other. I really missed those times.

I find that for some reason, it's a lot easier for women to befriend each other than men, don't you agree?

Shirley said...

We haven't had a perfect couple to date in a long time. We had a great couple in Illinois for a couple years, but when they moved to a new neighborhood they dumped us because we weren't in the same social class anymore. LOL Another great couple got divorced. We actually like the new wife better than the first but they live a little too far away to get together more than a couple times a year. Our third great couple also moved...and we moved. Long distance dating is so hard, but we still have a great time when we do get together. Husband of our fourth couple died and wife moved away.

For now, we just settle on my friends and their husbands who my husband doesn't really like,(I don't especially like the husbands either) or his friends and their wives who I have nothing in common with....or we just hang out by ourselves and have a great time anyway.

valerie said...

Our best dating couple moved away five years ago and haven't been out on a date since! lol Ok maybe it hasn't been that bad but it just hasn't been the same. ..sniff...

shortmama said...

We had the same problem for years. I had a friend that I have had since high school. Hubs gets along with her hubs OK. Luckily my hubs can talk to just about anyone, but friends hub is 10 years older but acts 20 years older. Too much like being around a parent. Another friend of mine and a good hubs for mine to hang but they live about 40 miles away so too hard to get together. Finally a few years ago I reconnected with a friend from elementary school of all places. She still lives in the same small town that we grew up in and so do I. Her hubs and mine are two peas in a pod. They get together on their own to do manly things, and my friend and I get to hang out whenever we want. And we get together as families about twice a month to just hang out and bbq! Good time!

K said...

Being a military family we're usually the ones that move around a lot, but the longer we stay in the military the better our chances of at least running into other military families we lived by before. While life in the military gives us a common ground, it doesn't necessarily mean we click couple to couple. So it usually turns out that my hubby and I just spend time together, happy to see other couples every so often, but preferring time just the two of us as the majority of the time. It's almost as if we know we're only going to be in a town for a short time so we don't try to become best friends with another couple since investing all that time and energy would mean a lot to us and them only to have us move away a year later. We're looking forward to the day when my hubby retires from the military so we can establish roots and make friends.

Untypically Jia said...

I have to say, we totally lucked out after only 5 years of marriage we found not one, but 2 couples!

But we've had some bad seeds in the past. One couple we met online and they were very sweet, though strange. We later found out that they were actually crazy . . . like . . . literally.

Another couple turned out that we loved the husband but not the wife. Another couple we loved the wife but not the husband.

Now we're very lucky. One of our couples is my best friend and her husband, whom we met online a little over a year ago. They are great. We have dinners together, go to functions together, and even spent Valentine's Day together, along with their sweet little girl, whom we adore!

The 2nd couple we met a few months ago. The boyfriend is MY husbands new best friend whom he works with, and the girlfriend is just plain adorable. We spend at least one day a week with them (the boys cannot be separated) and we actually JUST got back from a 7 day cruise that we went on with them! It was awesome!

TisforTonya said...

We had a great pair that we met in WA state... but then WE were the "let's move away" folks - I stay in touch with the wife, but the guys were never close enough for us to justify a few hour drive to couple date (they moved to AZ after we moved to UT)

Now we have Hub's best friend from HS - whose wife I get along famously with... 75% of the time... and at other times I want to strangle... The biggest problem is that our kids don't get along so well... so it's put some strain on things...

We just went out last week with that couple and another couple - and THAT was a riot... of course, it was probably the comedian that was keeping everything cool...

I feel your pain - really - why doesn't offer THAT kind of pairing?

MakingChanges said...

BloggingMama- when you move back to the state (since I now know you aren't planning on being in Germany forever) we should totally hook up. I'm all for it!

Anjeny- It is totally easier for girls I think. In my case that is a definite yes since hubby isn't a huge sports fanatic and most of the hubbies of my girl friends are. Makes it a little awkward for my hubby.

Shirley- Long distance dating is almost impossible. I crave the get-togethers, which doesn't happen on a regular basis when you have to travel 12 hours to see each other. Once every years or so just isn't enough for me. I'm looking for more of a commitment.

Valerie- I am crying with you. Do you need a tissue?

Shortmama- I'm seriously jealous. Wanna share in the wealth??

Kimberly- my sis and her hub are in the military. She said she has the same issues. I don't have any advice for you on this one. Sorry! I just admire people who have the commitment to serve our country- THANKS to your hubby and to you for being single so often as he does his job.

Untypically Jia- WOW! Again, am I looking in the wrong places? How did you make out like a bandit with the luck? Wanna share???

T- hey, I'm in Utah? Wanna get together and see if it works? If you started a website for couples dating you would be a billionaire, don't you think? Maybe I'll steal the idea from you. lol!

K said...

P.S. Venus vs. Mars - your makeover looks fantastic! I can't wait to display the new button, too. Good work!

Swirl Girl said...

We have several couples we like to date...but it's usually me that backs out for one reason or another.

Maybe the first gal you mentioned is agorophobic or is looking for a swinging date not just a 'sit around talking about kids' date.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Here's the thing with us. I pretty much feel like I can get along with anyone.

So I was always telling my GUY to catch up with his good friends and we can finally find a couple to DATE. But like I said in my ME TIME post... he's kinda become a homebody.

But when we moved to an area with A LOT of young couples we were actually BOTH excited. We were ready to find OUR special couple, the ones the fit us perfectly.

I had someone over like every weekend.

We finally found a great couple. They didn't have kids yet, but that didn't seem to get in the way.

We had lots of fun

Then they moved.

And then we moved.

Now we are back to square one.

I'm willing to date whomever so you guys give us a CALL! :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Youngblood, you are soooo right on!!!

It's so rare to find the right ONES to double date with .

Jodie said...

My dream is to find the perfect couple for us to date! Since our move to Washington 2 years ago, we haven't found anyone yet. Hopefully, we will be as lucky as some of ya'll and find a couple we would like to date!

I am LoW said...

Just the other day I heard a grown woman tell a bunch of teenaged girls, on topic of double dates, that she STILL likes to double date. And I said, "NOT ME!!" I think it was fun years and years ago, but nowadays, I want it to be me and my husband. Only. I'll go off with my girlfriends, he can hang with the guy, but if we are on a date- the last thing I want is another couple there. Or else I'd drag along kids to distract us.

Vanessa said...

I suppose I'm a little late to chime in. All these comments got me thinking since we have our long distance 'perfect' couple. Then other friends that either don't have the time or interest to get together often. I did a search and there are some couples dating websites out there, and they specify not for hooking up, and not for swingers... So, I'm going to check it out and hope for the best! I appreciate everyone's comments that got me thinking!

tiki_lady said...

YES, we have had the perfect couple friends in each state that we have moved to and SADLY we either moved or they moved.

friends who I liked him and her and my hubs liked him and her and more importantly they parented the same way we did. So, our children liked each other and if they ever were to fight both couples trusted and understood each others parenting and disciplining rules. PERFECT!!!

We do not have couple friends who we can just chillax with because one of us have an issue with one of the other spouses. WE can go out to dinner or a movie with another couple but anything longer than that would be a PURE NIGHTMARE!!!

I wish there was a couple match, like or something.