Friday, May 15, 2009

I Don't Get It

Today we have a new Male Blogger at Venus.  Cameron from Get the Stink Off is often funny and always real.  He is a husband and father of two young children who proclaims himself to be a computer nerd, power napper, fire starter (anyone else scared by that one?) and keeper of the lawn.  I'm not sure what else he might be but I look forward to finding out. Please make him welcome with his first post, his take on signals and then head over to his blog for his take on everything else.

I think I can speak for most men when I say, "We don't get hints.  Not even a little bit."

For example:

Perhaps the wife is feeling frisky, and she wants us to retire to the bedroom to have a little fun.  She might sit down next to me, and twirl her hair, maybe put her hand on my leg. 

My response: What's up?

Wife: Oh....nothing.

From that point maybe she'll turn and sit on top of me, straddling me and giving me a passionate kiss.

Me: I can't see the Tv.

Wife:  Sooooorrrrryyyy....I just wanted to love on you.

Now, the easy fix to this dilemma, in my opinion, is for my wife to simply say, "Hey, let's go do it!"  I'd be all, "Let's go...what are you waiting for?"  But she'll never say that, and I suspect most of you women won't either.

Why not?  My thinking is, if you want something, just be blunt.  Us men, we are WAY too stupid for hints and innuendos.  We need it told to us, very slowly, using small words.



Anonymous said...

First, welcome to Venus vs Mars!
It is nice to hear the way the male mind works! Let's see what our other male posters have to say.

I think women tend to want to be more subtle about it rather than just saying, Yo, let's go to bed! I'm not that blunt and I don't think a lot of women are either.

I think I have a hard time just blurting it out that way because it isn't romantic (like Julie said in her post yesterday).

I don't know why exactly that is. But that's what this blog is for, to see what everyone else thinks!

K said...

I am curious how my hubby would react if I did just say it straight forward like that! But I think we've also learned to read each others cues, too. If I try a new 'hint' though it doesn't always work :)

God said...

Hmmm. I don't get it, usually your wife is really forward with ME!

OHhhhhhhhhHHHHHhhhh snap, buddy!

for a different kind of girl said... would seem that the 'let's get it on' hint is the only hint my husband can actually pick up on!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I've actually resorted to throwing something (gently of course) at him to get his attention. Funny how when I'm totally not in a mood, it's all he can think about and if I so much as sneeze he takes that as a sign. Hmmm....can you explain that one?

Cameron said...

Andrea - thank you for the warm welcome. I'll try not to provide 'too much' of a look into the male mind ;)

Kimberly - I highly recommend you give it a try sometime, just be blunt. I'll bet it'll work, and have your hubby thank me later, k?

Poo, er I mean God...she said she HAS to be really forward with you, something about your thick skull.

FADKOG - my point exactly, we are far too slow for subtle hints.

Stiletto - it must be bad at your house, maybe you should have your husband's hearing checked.

Kat said...

Apparently breathing is a sign that I want to "get it on" around my house.

valerie said...

Like Kat said, just happening to glance at hubby means I want some. lol He's always ready.

"Cookie" said...

I have to say when it gets to the point where your wife in sitting on your lab straddling you..... I would think that was a give away.

But saying that....sometimes I throw hints and other times I come right out and say what I want. Just kind of depends on the mood and where we are.

Good post by the way!!

Anonymous said...

I thought the person that commented 'breathing' must be the sign in her home...funny! But at my house, it must be doing the laundry or loading the dishwasher, cause even though I get no response to 'help'...he sure is all 'lovey' when I'm done doing all the chores and putting the kids down too!


Cameron said...

Kat / Valerie - true, breathing is the sign, but we men know you're just gonna give us the cold shoulder.

Cookie - nope. Remember, men are slow!!

SAHM - it's all the bending over...gets us riled up!

Kimberly Wright said...

Pretty blunt if I really want to do it. I actually wish he was more of the blunt person.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay... For me to just tell my husband, "Let's go DO it" takes the steam out of my .... ummmmm... well out of ME.

I want to be able to distract him WHENEVER I'm in the mood... with just straddling him and giving him a "passionate kiss"... :)

My guy explained it to me this way... he wants it 24/7 so in reality he's always WAITING on me. But like you said, when we were first married, I probably denied him a couple of times... okay I DID deny him a couple of times... but for VERY good reason (just saying)--so for awhile... like 3 or 4 years he was hesitant on my hints.

So I finally just told him... if I kiss for longer than a second... I want some.

He gets my hints now more I think because I'm not really a touchy feel-y person so if I'm mauling him... he pretty much drags me into the bedroom to finish what we started!!!

AND... if he can get distracted by the television... then I FOR SURE am not doing my job!!! :)

I LOVED this article Cameron... I honestly can't wait to see what you come up with next! :)

MakingChanges said...

Okay, fab post. Goes really well with my post yesterday- Grab the bull by the horns. I think that is pretty forward don't you? I tried that (just grabbing), weird for me but it totally worked on Hubby.

Glad to see you over here. Can't wait to read more of your stuff.

Heidi said...

I think the important point is being missed. If that is the way the wife communicates her desire, I suspect she is looking for the same kind of communication (i.e., she might think "let's get it on" is no fun.)

Cameron said...

BW - I didn't know men could be something other than blunt ;)

Shelle - you have trained your man. We aren't bright but we can remember. You taught him that kiss longer than a second = nookie.

Youngblood - yes, grabbing bull horns is forward ;)

Heidi - that's true, and if you read some more of my stuff (please) you'll see that half of what I write is sarcasm...fluff. Whether it's a quick and dirty tryst of slow and sensual, I agree that communicating what you want would vary.

DGB said...

Cameron...good to see you posting here.

I agree that men, as a rule are no good with hints. And I see why you didn't get it when she was sitting next to you twirling her hair. But when she climbs on your lap and says she wants to love on you, and you still don't get it...I gotta say that goes a bit beyond not getting a hint.

(I hope it was a really good show.)

April said...

Here's your small words.....TURN OFF THE TV.

Then when she sits on your lap your brain won't be confused by two stimuli and you will know what to do. Just a thought. :)

Anjeny said...

Cameron...first off, welcome and thank you for this great post. It is really good to see the other sex's view on things...I often wondered if my hubby may be the only who doesn't get the subtle hint.

I was thinking that mainly, most women are a little more on the shy side when it comes to matters of sex...we can be very blunt at other things but when it comes to actually voicing our desires in bedroom, we tend to be shy about it.

Speaking for myself, I find that to just say "hey let's do it" so unromantic and kinda takes the mystery and fun out of making love. I like foreplay and hey, if I have to take my clothes off, I need to prolong the business of love-making or sex for as long as possible.

Another thing I don't like being blunt about sex is the fear of rejection. No woman likes being rejected after they take the courage to come forward and say "let's do it" so if we throw out hints and the guys doesn't pick it up or he isn't in the mood then it's ok because it will just come across as though we never put ourselves on the know what I mean? Maybe my response might not apply to a lot of your women but this is just how I see it.

I think if I was straddling my hubby like that...he would haul me off to the bedroom without waiting for me to clarify myself. Just saying.

dadshouse said...

I agree we men don't get hints. But I'm divorced and presently single, and if there was a hot woman on my couch at home - I'd jump her in a heartbeat!

Then I'd go back to my TV.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Dadhouse you seriously crack me up! I love when you come over here and comment. I read your blog... I don't understand why you haven't been snatched up! Honestly.

Cameron--You ARE being sarcastic about her straddling you and YOU watching tv right? I mean, that is how I took it cause if you are a normal male... if a lady is straddling you, YOU pay attention! LOL!

This has been fun to come back and see what people have said!

H.K. said...

What a funny post! I have no problem telling my husband what I want, I'm blunt and to the point. Sometimes, I have to reign in the bluntness.

I tried doing the hinting thing in our early years of marriage and it didnt work. And it takes too much work to hint and be coy!

Cameron said...

To clarify, she did the whole straddling me while the kids were just down the hall. I know full well nothing's gonna happen while the kids are awake.

She might have been feeling frisky at that point, but I knew she wasn't gonna follow through at that particular time ;)

SweetPeaSurry said...

Well written, I'm the type that just blurts out ... let's go do it. Or I would be ... if I was actually doing it with someone. said...

love it love it love it-----how fun to have a guy write something here. Seriously, I agree, too bad we women weren't more "direct" Let's get it on!!!!!!!!

wendy said...

How come GOD doesn't comment on my blog (tee,hee) (I am the same wendy as above, just was on a different account----this post had me flusterd) HA HA HA HA

Anonymous said...

Because women are not dudes. If you want someone that would do that, then you need a dude to be your significant other.

Just sayin. :)

Anon- b/c of the topic. I'm chicken like that.

Cameron said...

Wendy / wendy - don't fear God. He is quite humorous though. (R rated, kinda like me)

Anon - come on, this topic isn't that risque.