Monday, December 28, 2009

Some Funnies

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir.. It's the same dog

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

The awesome power of a wife's love

A very old man lay dying in his bed. At death's door, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral".

Hope y'all had an excellent Christmas!


Anonymous said...

lol - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah uh uh uhhhhhhh. (Notice the posh English laughter)

My favourites ?

Breastfeeding it rocks
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral".

Especially the second !!

David Edward TD

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I have to agree with David on the Breast Feeding rocks! :) that was funny... And kids are naturally funny because they take everything literally hehehehehe

David... Does TD stand for what I THINK it stands for? Cause THAT is funny if it does :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, it does indeed. I thought it might amuse you - and me too - Wah Wah wah (English aristocratic laughter)

"kids are naturally funny because they take everything literally"

That is because they are pure and sweet with no malice or deceit in them, and liked - even loved -
by all. I'm like that.

Terrible news - the site ‘mensnewsdaily’ has blocked my comments. Whyyyyy? Surely not because I maintained the position that - yes well, lets skip over that.

landscape gold coast said...

My friend wanted to be something funny so she bought a pink feather boa, pink eyelashes, pink hair spray (washable) and wore jeans, a pink shirt, and pink sunglasses. People ask her what she was and she'd tickle them with the boa and say "tickled pink!" I loved it.

Nanuni Kokoritu said...

Nice pictures! Specially the second!