Friday, April 2, 2010

He is Negative

I guess this is one of those post where I have to spill the UGLY beans about hub, eh...LOL. For all his wonderful and lovable attributes, my hub, I'm sad to say can be a very negative guy. I've noticed that more lately and it's starting to kinda wear on our conversation time. I know that there's a reason for it but that doesn't stop me from grinding my teeth sometimes.

It isn't that he's negative about everything, though. There's just one subject that constantly come up in our conversation and pretty much everything he said about that subject is negative, and that is our neighbors. Since we've moved to our current residence, we've been having some major issues with our neighbors.

So anyways, because of some of the things that our neighbors have been doing, seems like every time my hub and I are alone and we're talking about something, doesn't matter what the subject is, he always managed to bring it around to our neighbors so practically our conversation would end up on the topic of our neighbors. Most of the time, I'm screaming in head saying..

"I KNOW OUR NEIGHBORS SUCK!! YES, THEY DID AND SAID AWFUL THINGS TO US, I WAS THERE REMEMBER?!! BUT I AM SICK AND TIRED OF TALKING OR LISTENING TO YOU GO ON AND ON ABOUT THEM. NOT EVERY SUBJECT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS RELEVANT TO OUR NEIGHBORS, LET IT GO!!!"

I've come to the point where I now have to screen our topic of conversations. If we are going out on a date, and driving to the place of our destination, I usually am the one trying to come up with some safe topics where I was sure it wouldn't circle back to a negative conversation about our neighbors. Of course, it doesn't work all the time. Sometimes he would beat me to the bunch and before I know it, he's going on and on about our neighbor. Sometimes I change the subject when I'm not too lazy(LOL) or I just crawl into my own thoughts and just let him have at it.

And no, it doesn't matter how many times I've told him that there are just things he really can't control and that he needs to just ignore what he can't change and move on with his life.

What about you guys? Which one of you is the negative/positive one in your relationship?

{Shelle, sorry that it took me this long for this post and thanks for your patience.}

8 comments:

Southern Sage said...

you could set fire to your neighbors house and burn them out then Hubs wouldn't have them to talk about anymore!!

Anonymous said...

My spouse is generally a positive and optimistic guy. However, I can sort of relate to this issue regarding neighbors.

For the past several years we have had issues with various neighbors who have had family/friends move in and out of their homes. They seem to feel that the front of our house is their personal parking space, rather than making use of their own garage, driveway, etc. For the most part, we know and get along with our neighbors, other than this issue. For whatever reason, it makes my husband nuts! He has tried talking to them, and eventually sending complaints to the HOA.

Honestly, it makes me crazy because I have to hear about this EVERY time a car is there. Because I work from home (albeit in the middle of the house, so I am NOT looking out the front window), it's like he expects me to know to whom the car belongs. He can't let it go. It makes him nuts, and hence makes me nuts. We love our home (except for this ongoing issue). However, he goes off about wanting to move over this. We have to deal with these people, so I don't really want him talking to them right after he has just gone off on me about them. Ugh.

On all other things, he really is an optimist, so I guess this is a small thing overall. However, there have been times when it has ruined an evening because he has obsessed over it and let it ruin his mood. I too try to change the subject, avoid it, etc.

Good luck!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh anj that sucks especially because I'm probably a bit like your husband when it comes to some things. For instance, if my neighbors were frustrating me I'd have to vent...and all I have is my hubs to vent with, if I don't then I tell someone I shouldn't and that is bad.

So I get it...but this helps me to see my poor husbands point of view of it all and I am going to try to be better at this!

Thanks for writing this!

Anjeny said...

LOL Sage...that is a very tempting idea.

Anjeny said...

Anon...I hear ya. What you described there is exactly some of the conversation we have when the hub gets home. Very frustrating.

Anjeny said...

Heelsnstocking, 3 times eh? I'd go nuts too if I were you.

Sorry to hear about your mom. It's hard being around negative people, but I think it's even harder when that person is family. I feel for ya girl.

Anjeny said...

Shelle...I don't mind my hub venting his frustrations and all. I even don't mind him vent about our neighbors sometimes, it's when he practically keep turning our conversations into the topic of our neighbors that just drives me nuts. I'm starting to wonder sometimes if there's even any topic at all we can talk about that might be totally "neighbor-topic-free".

Anjeny said...

Thanks guys for the comments...

Sorry for the delay in the respond. This has been one busy weekend..and yeah, Shelle, good to see you back from the wilderness, how was the hike?

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