That was the topic... don't ask me how I came up with that topic. In fact, I've sat for a whole day thinking of how I was going to effectively get my point across! Dang it Jim!
Then my husband sent me this two days ago:
And now I have proof of what I'm talking about.
My husband goes to school on Tuesday's and Thursday's and sometimes Friday's. Other than that he has an internship sometimes in the mornings but he's basically Mr. Mom right now (which means he has the biggest influence on them on a day to day basis) and I'm the one out of the house working, working, and working.
The picture above was his "arts and crafts" for the morning with our little girl. She is 4 turning 5 in a few months.
They cut out pictures from a magazine and pasted them on a piece of card stock. Innocent enough right?
Wrong... let's get a close up:
I think that has at least one naked top girl (the other two have on nude body covers)-the word SEX is on there, (my 4 almost 5 year old can sound out words, so basically she can read, especially three letter, phonetically correct words).
This isn't the only example of stuff my husband does around my kids. When they are young he likes to teach them to say "truck" but it really sounds like the F-word that rhymes with truck. He'll get them to say on cue, "Truck You" -- ummm yea.
Or what about when we stop at a stop light and he rolls down the window and my boy says, "Hey HEY!" or "Hey Girl what's your number?!" cat calling basically.
He has my little girl say it to boys or guys.
He thinks it's hilarious.
He also watches "fake" wrestling and he'll lean over and say stuff to my sweet boy like, "she's hot huh?"and then my boy will smile and shake his head up and down or back and forth depending on what he thinks, well he did that when he was little, now my boy says "aaaah yea" or "heck no".
What I'm saying is I think my husband forgets that these are his kids and not his "poker buddies" (he doesn't play poker, but you know what I mean) sometimes. Sure it's cute when they're little (and I'll admit to laughing more than once when I hear the product of his teaching)...but some of this stuff is not so cute when they get older.
You get what I mean?
What do you think? How would you respond? Does your spouse teach your children things you wish they wouldn't?
Shelle
18 comments:
For some reason when I read this post, I couldn't help but laugh.
I was usually very careful about what my kids learned, well, all except the youngest one. I don't know, I guess since she is the last one, I've loosen up way too much that I'm the one who taught her things that I shouldn't or my hub wished I didn't.
I've taught her how to swear in my language and then her oldest sister had taught her how to swear in English..I know, I'm awful. On more than one occassion, those not so ladylike things I've taught her have backfired on me.
Annoying things my hub taught one of my boys? Farting in front of me, fanning the smell to anyone around while laughing, yep, even farting at the dinner table..totally disgusting.
As a guy, let me be the first to say . . . women are HOT! Nice to look at.
LOOK!
The cat-calling? That's a bit much. It's one thing to appreciate how attractive a woman is. It's quite another to call them out on the fact in public.
Unfortunately, I am the one who teaches questionable things -- unintentionally. I still remember the first time my adorable little nephew looked up at me at me and said "fuck."
I have unintentionally taught my kids a choice word or 2. If my husband taught this stuff to my kids, I would be pissed!
I think everyone is being too nice. I'd be kinda ticked if my husband taught my kids that.
That said my son did get the "what the" from me. Thankfully he has no idea what comes after the 'the'.
Thor's little friend T (7yrs) came over the other day to play and said he 'wanted to get dead and kill something'. I guarantee he heard that from his father. So what they learn at home really does come out in public ya know?
Anjeny--it was meant to make you laugh a little bit. If I lied I'd say I never laughed at this stuff...but then that would be lying. I HATE the farting and fanning...makes me dry heave!!!
TysDaddy--I hear ya on the cat calling. It's good to know that women are good to LOOK at! We are just put on this earth for men's entertainment... or so I'm told! lol.
Logical Libby--I'm so glad to see you over here first off! I like re-tweet your twitters almost to much! Yea, I remember my little girl was rhyming and that word came out... I didn't even know what to say!?
Evonne--I know right!? It's funny cause I'm the same way. The stuff I teach them is okay, but if he taught them the same stuff I'd probably cringe!
Blogging Mama Andrea--I'm not as much ticked as I am rolling my eyes. I think though as he gets older I do ask him to be more selective with my son. It's just him though... and like you said, I teach them both stuff that is probably questionable also!
I love your honesty...seriously...love it.
I wouldn't be too happy about those collages or the cat calls either. Yes, it's great that women are nice to look at (as are men), but there's too much objectification of women these days. If my husband did that with our kids, that would be crossing the line for me. For our daughter, I want her to have confidence in herself as a person, and not just as something to look at. For our son, I want him to treat/view women respectfully.
That said, my husband and I both have inadvertently taught them a few choice phrases or slang terms over the years (my husband way more than me).
And of course, they have employed the slang term or choice phrase at exactly the wrong moments. Sometimes it was funny and at times, mortifying.
Anonymous--that is exactly what I want. I guess the thing about my husband is he shows these good traits on how to treat women and how to treat them by how he treats me...
Unfortunately he's also a guy and does these little things...
"And of course, they have employed the slang term or choice phrase at exactly the wrong moments. Sometimes it was funny and at times, mortifying." Isn't that the truth!!! lol
My son is 2 years old and my hubby has taught him how to punch and do the whole wrestling thing and it use to drive me insane because I dont want him to do it to another little boy or try it on another adult, but I learned that boys will be boys. Now with the whole cat calling I would be smacking someone I dont like men doing that to me and I sure the hell dont want my son doing it! You want to teach your son at a young at that you respect women, you know and that is what I would tell my husband if he was teaching my son to do that. Also how would he feel if someone did that too you or you little girl! It may be cute now but when he gets older it wont be.
You just have to teach them that there is a right time and place to be silly with daddy.
and I think you are ok with your little girl she may be able to read the word sex and say it but she doesnt know what it means yet just next arts and craft time I would do finger painting!!! LOL
Im thinking restraining order! lol
Kids grow up too quick any way these days why encourage it. Ive had to explain this week what a lesbian and oral sex is to my 9yr old due to her hearing it at school. I should be still getting away with santa and the tooth fairy not telling her she isnt a lesbian cos she held a girls hand the the other girls said so!
Truthfully I don't see the big deal. I don't see this as harmful at all, and I think it is one example of how different men and women are in their parenting.
That having been said, I think this is fine to do with a boy but not with a girl. Yes, yes...that's a HUGE double standard. I'm aware. I also don't care. It is what it is.
615sWife-"You just have to teach them that there is a right time and place to be silly with daddy." Totally true. And you know what? I think they know the difference. Only time will tell :)
Heels-LOL...very funny @ restraining order! That is my thing... they will get introduced to all the crap with their friends...I want to shelter them more :)
Daddy Files--I'm glad you got on here and said that or I might have been sleeping on the couch! :)
I agree we are just different. He's a very good dad and husband and I did admit that I do laugh sometimes... I do double standards all.the.time and I don't care either :)
@shelles there is just no point in accelerating the growing up, i love there innocence it helps their learnign as they have no boundaries or stereotypes yet. Once they have them you have an opinionated teenager on your hands and lets face it they are horrid! even if they are your own!!
Very cool guy didn't seem like a dork or anything..How would you feel if your man just sat you down one day and played his own composed sontata on piano to your name?
i think it'd be really cool! its always awesome to learn something new about someone you care about...
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