Thursday, May 14, 2009

Heating it up

We have all heard that women are like ovens and men are like microwaves. Women need time to warm up, but then we can go for hours. Men heat up fast, pop and then are done.

The other night I was talking with hubby in bed... I know- can you imagine we actually conversed? And about something really important to our sex life. Lately he hasn't really gotten my subtle (or sometimes no-so-subtle) hints that I am in the mood. I asked him, "What am I doing wrong?"

He told me (and I am not kidding you- so sorry for the lack of a better, maybe more tactful way of putting this) "Sometimes you just gotta grab the bull by the horns."


Now, I'm not asking what did he mean. I totally understood. I am just wondering how that is even sexy/a turn-on/desirable. I have to be kissed, caressed, and the like before any touching in "that area" is to take place. Of course there are times when I am a little faster and the preshow doesn't take so long, but really, "grabbing the bull by the horns?" Is this common? Do all guys really like that? Am I abnormal as a woman? Let me know!


Mr. Anonymous said...

To answer your question youngblood4ever, yes most men generally would like their ladies to get down to business by "grabbing the bull by the horns". Generally speaking we don't need all the other carressing, because we are completely wired differently for sex. Now on occassion we will want the other kind of carressing that most women generally prefer. But, I would say 80-90% of the time start a grabbing and wrestle that bull.

I am just saying,

Mr Anonymous

The Blonde Duck said...

I think most guys love that. Maybe you could try mentally getting in the mood first.

K said...

First, I'm still laughing about "women are like ovens and men are like microwaves." That statement alone can be interpreted in so many ways; maybe in a future post you could do that because I love it!
Second, I'm blushing about "grabbing the bull by the horns." I'll have to ask my hubby a similar question and see what he says, but I think I already know what his answer would be :)

MakingChanges said...

Mr. Anon- thanks for the info. Good to know that it is fairly common.

Blonde Duck- I'm gonna try that. Thanks for the suggestion.

Kimberly- I'm glad you like that analogy. Sorry that I made you blush. I was trying to be as tactful as possible with this subject. Let me know what your hubby thinks about it. I'm curious to know how common this is. Do our significant others really like to just get down to business? All the time???

Anonymous said...

Well, my house is the opposite of yours. Hubby likes a little more before time (and sometimes so do I) but I'm usually the one who says lets get to the main event.

The way he said it to you may not have been sexy but it was honest!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I'm totally the same as you YoungBlood...I don't know anything that gets me OUT of the mood more than having to SPELL it out...

Want I REALLY want is for HIM to grab the bull by its horns... Grab me, pull me into a private area, throw me up against a wall and get it on!

But... that rarely happens anymore... sigh.

Anonymous said...

When he says, "grab the bull..." does he mean to get right to business or is it more in reference to not being subtle about what you want? Sometimes we men think there is a hint but aren't sure and don't want to be let down after getting up for it. That happening a few times can make a man think twice or wait for something more obvious. I am sure if you were to grab the bull and then dance around the ring a little bit to warm up it would be ok, as long as the full dance is done...

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Showing a women you have out of control crazy passion for her... even after 5-10-15 years... is a turn on.

No guessing... you won't be let down.

Or maybe I'm alone in this? ladies help me out?

Kimberly Wright said...

My husband said the same thing to em the other night when he was in the "can take it or leave it mood" and I wanted to just do it already.

Shelle I am with you btw!!!

valerie said...

lol My hubby would love it if I just went for the "bull" sometimes. Luckily he's nice enough to wait for me to catch up.

MakingChanges said...

Andrea- I was totally glad he was honest with me. It really is helpful to actually talk about what we like/don't like so I know what to do for him and he likewise.

Shelle- Seriously- isn't that totally sexy? Just having your man grab you, push you up to the wall, and ravage you? YUM! And no, you are not alone. When hubby not only tells me that he loves me but also shows me that I can still drive him wild I love that!

Anon- I truly mean "GRAB" the bull by the horns. Yes, physically. I know that he also would like me to be more vocal in my desires, but truly, he physically would love me to just jump on in and have at it. I get what you are saying, though. If you think there is hinting when hinting is not intended and then you are shot down it is pretty disappointing and probably more than a little painful. I have to say, though, that when he doesn't get the clue and I am left to lay there, wanting him while he is not wanting me, that is pretty physically painful too. Whether guys realize it or not- it isn't too comfy for us to be left all hot and bothered.

BeautifulWreck- Did you grab the bull? I'm just wondering.

Valerie- Sex/intimacy is the greatest when you both give to the other. It is nice that your hubby works at your pace. Do you ever do the same for him? Just curious.

Anjeny said...

LOL...Jules, the topic made me smile. Then while reading the post, I was totally cracking up...and after reading the comments, yours especially, I am soooo ROFLOL.

So I should've answered your double dating post and said that you and your hubby and me and mine should totally meet and go out on a date or just hang...your hubby sounds like mine.

I was also laughing at the "grab the bull by the horn" bit cuz I remember watching on "Yes, Dear" the guy telling his wife the same thing, word for word.

Yes, guys are like that. I think if I was younger and my hubby comes straight out and tell me to do that..grab the bull by the horn...I would run away from don't know for some reason since I had my last child, I seem to want it all the time so if my hubby says something to me like that, I would totally jump at him.

And I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging but my hubby does grab me sometimes out of the blue and pushed me up against the wall and kissed me silly...sometimes he does that to drive our kids mad and other times he does that out of desire...either way I love it.

I, I don't think, I know it's really a good thing that you and your hubby are able to talk about your sex life..there are couples out there who doesn't and a lot of the times, the woman ends up not getting any satisfaction out of the deal.

Julie...I sooo would love to dissect your head...eheheheh...
another great post. Thanks for the laugh...I can't seem to stop laughing...not at you by the way.

MakingChanges said...

Anjeny- I know you are laughing WITH me. No worries. Glad you have a great thing going with your hubby. Let's double when I come out to Hawaii (cuz it WILL happen).

The whole talking about our sex life is a pretty new development and I have to be honest about this- it is really working. I really wish this would have been something we felt comfortable doing earlier in our marriage.

2 more things Anjeny- I heart Yes, Dear. Seriously funny show! AND- I don't think you would really like to dissect my head. It is pretty bloody and slimy inside...oh, and I am more than just a little crazy- I totally admit to that.

valerie said...

youngblood-Oh for sure do I go for it at his pace. Once in awhile. lol Just enough to keep things interesting. It's been almost 13 years and it's the best ever yet!

"Cookie" said...

"Pop and then are done".....Cracked me up!!! That is so a man. My husband is the same way. And I have to be honest sometimes it's a slam bam thank you ma'am....and it's for him. But then, maybe the next night I tell him..."ok, i need some good lovin." and then it's a whole different ballgame. I think women just get the crappy end of the deal b/c we are more in need of a "warm up" than men.

Just another piece of the puzzle to a marriage!

Melinda said...

Wow, that was pretty 'ballsy'! Do you think you're a little 'horny'?! So you're saying he needs a little more 'prodding' huh? Maybe you can 'herd' him in the right direction? And that ain't no 'bullcrap'! (tee hee)

tiki_lady said...

yes, for my man too. they don't get that rubbing their back could be a prelude to sex, WHICH IS SO STRANGE TO ME, because apparently rubbing my back is suppose to be a prelude to sex, so go figure,

but he absolutely knows and is turned on by just grabbing and getting that message loud and clear without any words. nice, i know.