My topic of choice today can bring out a lot of debate. I want to start by saying this is NOT a debate. This is not a “My religion is better” forum. This isn't a place where flaming or derogatory comments will be allowed. Those who wish to leave those comments, rest assured -I will be monitoring the site today and I will delete your comment within minutes. Shelle and I have discussed it and if need be we WILL make this post a moderated comments post. Please don't put me in a position to have to do so.
Whew! Okay religion. I'll need to tell you a bit of background before I get to the point. My husband and I were both raised in homes where we went to church weekly, took religious education classes and followed the church calendar (the specific religion is not important because that has nothing to do with what I want to discuss). We were married in our church and agreed to raise our children there as well.
When I turned 18 and left home I discovered that the religion of my childhood didn't fit what I believed in. There were significant issues within the church that I did not feel I could support. After a year of searching myself and reading and contemplating I have found what I had been looking for. Now that I can decide for myself what I believe I've chosen differently than the religion I was raised in. I've spoken to my parents and they are fine with my decision.
The problem as I see it is that while my religious beliefs have altered in recent years my husbands have not.
We are not particularly religious. We do not currently attend services even though there are two English-speaking churches here representing both of our religious beliefs. I would like to attend but I hesitate to go on my own The expat community is a very small one and I know my solo attendance would not go unnoticed.
However, I can’t hide my choices and my husband can not hide what he believes. Thus far it hasn't been much of an issue other than agreeing to disagree. Neither of us is asking the other to change what we believe. But in terms of raising our two children it does give me pause. Next year would be significant for our seven year old in my husbands religion.
How do we decide which church to attend? I made the promise to raise the children under a certain religion and I am willing to do that even though it is no longer the religion I chose for myself. Our daughter has not yet been baptized due to where we currently live. This is another issue that we have been dancing around.
I am asking all of you for advice. How can we peacefully coexist in a home of two religions? They are both Christian religions and are not overly different (I don't feel his family would be happy with my religious choice however). Which do we bring up our children in? What is a fair compromise to our differences without either of us becoming angered, feeling hurt or slighted? Do you face similar issues in your home?
Let me reiterate- this is not open to discussing which religion is better, this is not a place to debate such a thing and it will not be tolerated. I am asking for advice on an issue inside my personal relationship that comes down to a difference in beliefs. I'd enjoying hearing what you have to say within the boundaries of respecting each other.