Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Last Thing You Say

I think the greatest thing about this blogger is her complete honesty to approach whatever she wants on her blog.  She can talk amiably about her husband and their relationship.  She also is doing her own break off of Twilight beginning where the books left off...so I am glad to have her on board to give us more of a peek into another really cool REAL relationship...you can also find her over at her site Color Me Untypical.


I'm really not a serious person, like . . . ever. And I did want my first post here to be something more humorous, but after some events Sunday, I feel that perhaps I've learned and important lesson, and I'd really like to share it with others.

I received a phone call from my husband Sunday afternoon. We were going over to his best friends house for dinner that night, but originally for another completely different purpose: a friend that my husband, and our two close friends worked with at their last job killed himself Saturday night.

Apparently he was in the middle of an argument with his wife, to whom he'd only been married one month. No one knows if it was an accident, if he was drunk, or, God forbid, if she did it. He was a very happy guy apparently, and everyone is just shocked by this news.

It really makes me wonder . . . . what were they fighting about? Was it something important? What were the last words she said to him? And how will she go on through life, remembering those last few moments of her husband's life?

Sometimes in the past, in the middle of an argument, I'll take notice of something on the floor near DH and think, "What if right now, in the middle of this argument, he trips on that, falls and breaks his neck?" And instantly, my thoughts change. I'm willing to give up the fight because there are so many more important things to say to the man I love.

I don't know about you all, but this moment has given me some perspective. What's worth it to fight about? Certainly not the dirty dishes, his socks on the floor, lack of money, a video game gone too long, or his snoring through the night.

No matter what, I'm going to take this moment to rededicate myself to my husband. Because I don't want to have any regrets should something ever happen to him. I want the last words to be "I love you," I want the last thoughts to be "I love you," and I want to make sure that my last actions with him are going to reflect my thoughts and words.

I encourage everyone to do the same.

Untypically Jia

14 comments:

Kimberly Zook said...

This is such a very important post, because it reminds us to keep what matters to us in perspective at all times, which isn't always easy to do when we're caught up in the middle of things. I think your message can also be expanded to include others as well as our spouses. Although there is much debate on whether humans can be truly altruistic, I do believe that we can treat others in every moment with respect for their lives and who they are. Our actions have such a major impact on people and our world, so if our actions reflect love and respect, then it shows others what matters to us the most.

Thank you for a wonderful post!

That Coach's Wife said...

Although my husband and I have had many struggles before and after we got married; nothing is worth fighting over. Nothing is worth losing one another for something materialistic!

Thank you for this post!

Cookie Crums said...

Makes a person stop and think.... never know what tomorrow might bring. Enjoy the now and tell those you love how you feel!!!

CaJoh said...

So often we get caught up in the things that annoy us that we don't realize that it could be our last conversation.

Very thoughtful words and ones to make us all ponder.

newlyweds said...

What a great post and so very true. Very sorry to hear about the tragic news of your friend. You make a great point!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Excellent post Jia. Sometimes its sad reminders like this that make us stop and think about the what if. It's easy to forget in the day to day hustle and stress how much we love someone. It's nice to stop and say "is this really worth fighting about?"

Thanks for the great post today!

T said...

awesome thoughts to ponder... of course now I'm going to look like the whiner for complaining about my man tomorrow... but I love him really - and this is going to help me be a better wife/mom/person!

The Blonde Duck said...

That's a good point. So often we focus on the little things...

Melinda said...

Isn't it a wonder why its so easy to focus on negative things than the positive? I was told once that when you focus on the negative you have a chemical release, and you just do it more and more--like an addiction almost. Sad isn't it? You make a great point to rededicate ourselves, I know I'm going to try harder now! Thanks!

Missty said...

Great post! And one that we all probably need to read now and then. You just never know.

wendy said...

Wow, that is a tragic story. I have a saying that I sometimes put on my fridge and it says TASTE YOUR WORDS BEFORE YOU SPIT THEM OUT. Anger can be ugly. Words can hurt. And as you said,was it really THAT important.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

That was a good reminder-My husband is much better at that than me, I think it is because he lost a sister when he was in his teens. He always reminds me of what is important and what is not-so sad about that guy...
(This is a great Blog BTW)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

When I first read this before I scheduled it to post...I seriously was so emotional.

It is always good to be reminded what's really important...because life wraps us in the whole and we forget the small little details...when in the end the whole doesn't matter but the fine details do!

WOW...I wonder if I am making any sense!

Thanks Jia for the post!

Susan said...

My husband is a police officer of 15 years and the stories he comes home with are amazing. He has always said that because he deals with this all the time, his home is his safety zone.

No fighting.

I think that's one of the lucky things I've found in my husband. He so much wants to ensure we appreciate the little things.

I wish everyone the best in this horrible situation.

WE BELONG