Men pee with the toilet seat up. And then the argument ensues about whether they should put it down or not.
If you are anything like me you HATE to go to the bathroom. It's a complete WASTE of time. So boring to have to sit there and wait for something you have NO control over. I hate it.
So when I have to go to the bathroom at 3 in the morning, where I have held it until there is NO possible way I can hold it any longer, and I crawl out of my warm cocoon of sheets, comforter, and husbands arms and legs...you better BELIEVE I'm rushing to the toilet just in time for my bodily fluids to come rushing out!!!
So when I sit down on the toilet and SOME male has forgotten to put down the seat...
I honestly want to DROP KICK someone...even if it is 3 in the morning! And every time it has happened to me, WITHOUT fail...I have screamed...because you honestly FALL in the toilet!
The first year of marriage...he was considerate and put the TOILET seat down.
Soon it became a 85/15 ratio. 85% of the time he was putting it down...but 15% of the time he wasn't...and that 15% was a BIG deal. I think any female would feel the same as I. When picking and choosing your battles in a relationship...that one just isn't an OPTION...it must be taken care of.
Finally...I flipped during a bickering argument we were having and said..."You have to put the toilet seat down after you go to the Bathroom MSM!"
MsM: "Really? I h.a.v.e. to? Where is it written that I HAVE to Shelle?"
Me: "In my book of laws after your married..."
MSM: So he quotes from one of our favorite lines in Shrek, well kind of mumbles "Well there's some fine print for ya!"
Me: It's sometimes impossible to keep up a good tension when it comes to arguing with my guy cause somehow he always says something that makes it hard for me to hold back a smile. But I persevered because this was important to me. "Honestly hon, you need to remember to put the toilet seat down...I almost fell in the toilet the other night!"
MSM: "It's not like I do it all the time...the way your telling it you would think I NEVER put it down..."
Me: "I only remember when you don't".
MSM: "Well I think you need to remember to put the toilet seat up."
Me: Shocked speechless for 1.2 seconds, then, "What did you say?" as I widen my stance and cross my arms.
MSM: "I said...you need to remember to put the toilet seat up for me. Who says it's suppose to be down...why should I have to remember to put it down...in MY world, a man's point of view, you should have to leave it up. What about MY NEEDS."
Me: "Seriously?" and as I racked my brain for a great come back...because for a minute there I actually understood what he was saying...I said, "You really want me to reply to that?" as I was chanting come on brain...come on...WHY should he have to put the toilet seat down?
MSM: "Yes... I do need you to reply to that" with a I-got-you-now-smirk.
Me: And then it came! Thank goodness for the remaining brain cells I have! For I loathe to lose at the bickering/nagging game.
I smile and say, "Fine. I'll give you two reasons WHY the toilet seat should be left down then up. Reason 1: Toilets were designed so that it's best look is with the toilet seat down. If it were meant to be left up they would make it look pretty with the toilet seat UP...but they don't its meant to be down because that part of the toilet is the Catch the Spray and splash part of the toilet...hence, not to be left up for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE.
And then because my guy thinks in LOGICAL language...
Reason 2: Women HAVE to sit every time they go to the bathroom...for number 1 and for number 2. But Men...men get to stand up for one and sit for the other. It's a 3 to 1 ratio...3 out of 4 reasons a person uses the toilet they need the seat DOWN to do it...therefore the seat should be left down."
MSM: Sat there for a moment, "I've got nothing to say to that, it makes complete sense. So I'll put it DOWN. Now come here...your neck misses me."
MSM: Sat there for a moment, "I've got nothing to say to that, it makes complete sense. So I'll put it DOWN. Now come here...your neck misses me."
This, of course, is only MY point of view. To be honest...I was excited that all of that was processed through to my brain while attempting to out smart my husband.
Some may think this is a MUTE point...but some things just CAN'T be ignored.
Right?
If only I would have known about this little contraption...
So what is something YOU may bicker about that may seem inconsequential to some...but it really kind of is a BIG deal to you? Does he forget to put the seat down...do you even CARE about that? Guys...do you feel picked on? lol!
Love,
Shelle
***UPDATE:*** I forgot to clarify, and for my guy's sake, this is NOT a problem any more, that arguement was at the beginning of our marriage, it WAS funny that it was such a BIG deal to me at the time! :)
32 comments:
This is as devisive of a topic as the religion one. There are many logical and illogical explanations and feelings as to why the toilet seat should be left down or up. And it can get quite heated on either side of this issue.
Do you all know the story of the Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. If you do then I apologize for boring you by recapping the story. But, basically there is a young married couple in love...the girl has long beautiful hair and the young man has a nice pocket watch that he loved. They were poor and had no money to buy each other a gift for christmas/anniversary or what ever the occasion was. The young man decided that he would sell his precious watch to buy combs for his wifes hair, meanwhile the wife decided to cut her hair and sell it so she could buy a pocket watch chain for her husband. When they exchanged gifts they were touched with how much love they had for each other, that they were willing to part with the thing that was most important to them. Now that was badly paraphrased and I know I did not do the story justice, you can actually google it and find the story if you like. But, the point of the story is that when we love someone else, sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice our need, for the need of the other.
Now as concerning the toilet seat issue, it is extremely important felt need for the wife/girlfriend, that the toilet seat be left down. It really isn't that much of an inconvenience to us to take literally 2 seconds to put the seat back down or for that matter to take 2 seconds to left it up so we can pee. So, why do men not just get it?
If I can try to explain on aspect of a man it is that...It's more important on HOW you approach a man then it is on what you say to him. Men are wired to be protector/warriors and are wired to be defensive in nature. So, if you come at a man in which he is percieving that he is being attacked he will be defensive. "Why can't you put that toilet seat down, dont you know i fell in it again!!!", To which he could reply "God gave you a neck, turn and look before you sit!" And thus the verbal jostling starts...
If I may make a suggestion....If you approach your husband/man and say....It would mean a lot to me...or I would appreciate it if (you would put the toilet seat down after you use the bathroom or any other request you may have. You can then add in your many reasoning and explanations as well). You man will likely not be defensive about this approach and you are much more likely to get what you desire from it.
I am just saying....
Mr. Anonymous
Mr. Anonymous - Would be interested in guest posting (as Mr A of course)? Please send an email if you are - momof2squirts@yahoo.com I promise not to reveal your identity. ;)
We could use some male perspective.
My dad and husband are always considerate about this...so I have no complaints! You have my sympathies.
My husband and my boys all put the toilet seat down. Life is blissful. Until my FIL comes to visit. He NEVER puts it down and I have fallen into the porcelain thrown on many occasions because of him. RAR
Hubby knows better and I've trained the little guy to always not only put the seat back down but also the lid. Now if we could just get the aim right... ;)
My hubby puts the seat and lid down, saying that he'd rather touch the lid to pull both up to pee rather than gripping the seat to lift it up. Also we learned that flushing sprays lots of bacteria up into the air, so it didn't take us much to both agree to always keep the lid down!
Great post! Thanks :)
Most of the time, they guys in the house are pretty good about putting the seat down. They never put the lid down, and this bugs me. I hate looking into the toilet. I like to have the lid down too at all times.
M.Anonymous...get your butt over here and Guest Post! lol! What you say is completely true of course...but at the time of approaching my MAN I'm not thinking logically...HELK I'm happy if I say coherent words because when I get angry, I tend to fluster! :)
But you are right, I he could say to use my neck and turn my head around to look at the toilet seat...but I'm one of those people that doesn't turn the light on when I make my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night...lol
It's not AT ALL a problem anymore...LET ME JUST CLARIFY that!...but I just think it is funny how it was one of those things that became a BIG deal to me! :)
Crash...that's just GROSS...especially after reading Kim's story! lol! YUCK!!!
Kim--Now my husband and I are going to have to discuss the BACTERIA issue...that's just not right...and I'll admit...I don't put the top seat down and neither does HE...so that is something we BOTH will have to work on! :) SO GROSS.
Blogging Mama--Yea...my little boy NOW helps me clean the toilet because he is also working on his aim! lol!
Valerie--after what KIM said...I agree!
Holy mackeral! All I can think of now is a show I saw about the germs and bacteria that get thrown out into the bathroom itself from one simple flush. So problem solved! Here's the conversation:
"Hey baby, I really don't mind that my butt occasionally plunges down to the bottom of the toilet on occasion, really, I don't. But I just read that a toilet flush explodes and travels at a speed of like 250mph and bacteria and fecal matter are landing on our walls, towels, soap and sink every single time! And you know how you have a habit of leaving your toothbrush out on the sink sometimes?"
Gross. Let's band together and start a Toilet Lid Closing Campaign.
And by the way, baby, are you reading this?
like Crash - my man and boys have been well trained - but visitors cause lots of problems!!!
I have a good OCD friend who has to clean the entire bathroom if the lid isn't closed when the toilet gets flushed - all those flying bacteria and all... I don't even dare use the bathroom at her house :)
Now you girls should live in Germany-- German men who have any kind of toilet training at all DO NOT PEE STANDING (unless the bathroom includes a urinal-- some do here!) but sit down, just like the ladies.
It took me a while to learn to do this as a matter of course (it helped that my German girlfriend told me if she ever caught me standpeeing in her bathroom I wouldn't be invited back), but it has definite advantages.
It means that cleaning the bathroom is just slightly less disgusting.
And you can also do it in complete darkness. (Turning on that bathroom light at 4 a.m. is agony.)
vailian--so how do we adopt that practice in the states? Do you think guys would go for it? I've mentioned it to my husband and he just looks at me like I am speaking crazy or something?
Susan--Seriously...I think I just threw up in my mouth!
I think your OCD friend is on to something! :)
I love your conversation with the hubby and my first reaction to his question about why you need to keep the toilet seat up was to run straight here in the comment box and answer that question before I finish reading the rest of the post but you nailed it right on the head.
I guess I could say that I am lucky that the males in this house do keep the seat down and now that I'm reading about all the germs flying when the toilet's flushed, I'm gonna have to train them to keep the lid closed then.
I also thought it was neat that like you, I also hold it in til I can't hold it anymore and at night, I just run in there without turning on the light....I admit, one night, one of my boys forgot to put the seat down, I almost fell in the toilet, I was steaming mad, esp. not knowing what's in there...ewwww, the image of the toilet loaded with crap..get it crap!!...makes my skin crawls.
Love the post by the way and yes Mr. Anon should do a guest post, I like his response to the posts.
Great topic, since I am a mom to 4 boys and a wife to one man. Most times the seat is down. Half the time the lid is down as well. Problem is with 4 boys comes 4 boys guy friends. Other boys can do serious damage to a clean bathroom! THank goodness, two oldest boys now live on there own. Now only half the mess! lol
See Anjeny--I knew you would know what I was saying...and that you would respond appropriately!!! lol!
Missty--I have the same problem with my little guys friends...it's SO gross!!!
If I clean the toilet I get to choose up or down and it's DOWN!! I have also fallen in the toilet many-a-nights!!!
My BIL's have all made fun of my dad because he was a sit-down kind-of-guy and I guess we all expected that from our future hubbies. He isn't from Germany, but grew up in a traditional English household.
I have tried to instill this practice with hubby and for the first few years of marriage he did it. He's gotten out of the habit, which totally sucks for me because I am the one that cleans the house. (unless I pay my cousin to clean it just before my sister comes to visit)
I think that if we are the ones cleaning up after them we should have a little bit of a say. No matter how good the aim there is always splatter.
I have taught my son to sit. No problem there, just with the big man.
Also, THANK YOU for the toilet lid thing. I thought I was the only one who required my kids to shut the lid too, every time they flush! Seriously, the thought of flying poop-particles is enough to make me vomit!
Brook--I could have used that logic also...but if I would have been backed up with that Bacteria thing...that FOR sure would have CLINCHED it!!! :)
YoungBlood...LOL at having to get your husband to be sit down. I really had NO idea that foreign guys sat down when they PEED!
Their wives probably never fell in the toilet! hehehe!
When first living on my own, I had a cat who would drink from the toilet if the lid wasn't closed all of the way, so this cat trained me to always close the top lid.
With the top lid closed, both my wife and I have to lift something in order to evacuate. So really, I think that's a fair deal.
My husband rocks the lid issue, so glad! If you want to know something he doesn't do that really really bugs me though? When he opens up a new gallong of milk, the little ring of plastic NEVER goes in the trash, he just leaves it on the counter! Every. Single. Time. Now THAT bugs me! hehehe
(p.s. I don't know if this means anything or if its just me, but in my blog list, this site isn't updating, it says the last post was six days ago. Thanks!)
Crap Melinda...I'm going to have to figure out what I did wrong with the feed...thanks for telling me! :)
Melinda-Now that you mention it, my hubby does that too with the milk plastic. And he is awesome at cleaning up but he never wipes down the counters. It drives me nutso.
YUP, we've all been through that. I think you should publish your "book of laws after marriage" that was funny.
Oh yes...I have quite a list of laws that came with marrying me! lol!
Melinda...my wife totally does that with the plastic milk cap--and many other things. Drives me nuts!
But just tonight, by coincidence, I went to sit down on the toilet and the seat was up! What the hell!! My wife never leaves the seat up, nor would she have reason to. But after this, I now feel your pain, as well as the cold porcelain.
Daddy Geek Boy--that is SO funny...I'm sorry I'm laughing, but it's just IS funny! I mean, it's not funny that it happens AT.ALL. but it's funny that it happened and then you read this post! lol!
But it is always nice when someone can sympathize with me! :)
I actually read this post first...then it happened.
I was going to go all factual on you about the amount of bacteria that is gusted out with every flush but it looks covered!
I love your thought of 3/4 of the time!!! I'm sooooo using this!
My hubby is wonderful about the toilet seat! Has been from day one.... he's thing is leaving a drawer / cabinet open "because I'm coming right back". Drives me crazy! But I'm like you....he always can crack a joke if I'm in a snit and make me smile. THat annoys me even more! LOL And of course I don't absolutely nothing that annoys him...unless you think leaving shoes around the house annoying!! :) :)
AMEN Melinda! What is up with the little milk ring??? I don't get it. Also, the socks------ they never quite make it to the dirty clothes hamper. They get thrown and plop on the floor right next to the hamper. And- even though he has to pass the hamper when he is exiting the room he passes by, doesn't pick them up. RUDE!
Have to send a kudos out to my hubby who has always put the seat down, so much that if it's up I know we have had company! Which brings me to my next point, what is up with men who leave the seat up in SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE? Come on now... Oh, and then they don't even bother to flush it??? That's just nasty.
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